johndail Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 (edited) I've posted a couple of times since our break up. But for the ones who haven't read them. We broke up a couple months ago when we were together for over a year because we argued and the affection went out the door with us. Last week we hung out once with some friends and ended up drinking. While we were out at the bars she was somewhat affectionate towards me and was asking her friends if we should get back together. I ended up leaving by myself and went home and she told me she had a good time that night thru text We ended up talking all the next day. Well Sunday rolls around and we are hanging out with friends and then me her and her daughter end up by ourselves having a good time. I tell her that my family is up at the lake and that she wanted to go(3 1/2 hours away from us). So i dial my moms number and slide the phone to my ex to see if she really wants to go. She talks to my mom and tells her we are coming up. We both call into work saying we can't make it tomorrow and then go home to our houses and pack our things and I pick her and her daughter up and hit the road. We were two hours into the trip and she made a comment that she can't believe she went along with this. . So I tell her "fine, we will go up there and put on a show and when we get back it can go back to the way it was before". Well she got mad and said why would I say that. I ended up pulling over at an over pass and we get out and I start talking to her. Literally a scene from the note book where I'm asking her what she wants and she says she doesn't know. All the while she is crying and tears coming down her face. She never told me anything but I could tell she wanted to. We ended up hugging and I gave her a kiss on the forehead and everything was back to normal once we got back on the road. We ended up having a good time. Nothing weird. I show her some affection but she was a little heatitant but I wasn't over bearing. Never kissed or anything just a little flirting. We were drinking. That was Sunday night and Monday. Today is Tuesday and I texted her "hey I know you don't like to talk about things but this weekend needs to be addressed. Could we meet up sometime?" She texts back sure and said not til the end of the month cause we are in sells so we both need to finish this month up. I know you guys can't tell me exactly what she thinks but any advice on what you think might happen. I want to work things out and it has been a process getting to this point. But if she says no that's fine I won't be hurt by it I just need to know for myself. So I can finally eliminate the what ifs. Edited May 30, 2017 by johndail Misspellings
mightycpa Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 We were two hours into the trip and she made a comment that she can't believe she went along with this. . So I tell her "fine, we will go up there and put on a show and when we get back it can go back to the way it was before". Well she got mad and said why would I say that.I can see why you would, but I think you took that the wrong way. I think it was maybe a back handed way of starting a discussion, or encouraging you to reassure her that she made the right decision. Your defensiveness didn't help. You might want to talk about that when you talk.
Author johndail Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 I can see why you would, but I think you took that the wrong way. I think it was maybe a back handed way of starting a discussion, or encouraging you to reassure her that she made the right decision. Your defensiveness didn't help. You might want to talk about that when you talk. I understand that but I guess i should of put in there that I didn't come back with that at first. She said I can't believe we are doing this and I told her that it will be fine, we will have fun on this trip. She responded with "she didn't know" and I asked her "why" and she just said I don't know. That's when I said that we will just pretend. She has always had problems discussing her feelings and that is what I hated the most. I can't force her to discuss them I know that but it just sucks.
mightycpa Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I understand that but I guess i should of put in there that I didn't come back with that at first. She said I can't believe we are doing this and I told her that it will be fine, we will have fun on this trip. She responded with "she didn't know" and I asked her "why" and she just said I don't know. That's when I said that we will just pretend. She has always had problems discussing her feelings and that is what I hated the most. I can't force her to discuss them I know that but it just sucks.You're right about that, the guessing games always lead to trouble. They same some $#!t and then they won't follow it up with some clarification, they just leave you guessing. You should probably talk about that too, and how that contributes to the failure of the relationship. Too bad it might end up being a lecture, rather than a discussion. That's just how some of them are.
Author johndail Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 You're right about that, the guessing games always lead to trouble. They same some $#!t and then they won't follow it up with some clarification, they just leave you guessing. You should probably talk about that too, and how that contributes to the failure of the relationship. Too bad it might end up being a lecture, rather than a discussion. That's just how some of them are. Which that could be true and who know we probably won't even talk about it with her track record. I'm not going to ask her about it again. If it happens it happens. This trip for me was to see if there was still something there and I think my feelings for her will always be there but It's something for me to find out what she thought of it. If nothing good then I will leave it at that and we won't hang out like we have been. I just want to know her opinion
Author johndail Posted June 1, 2017 Author Posted June 1, 2017 Anyone else have anything to comment on this situation?!
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