Radio_Religion Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Hi, To sort of make a long story short, I broke up with my girlfriend of 1+ years in early 2016 after we'd been living together for several months. This girl was nearly perfect for me in every way. We had a blast together and she was the sweetest/kindest person I've ever had in my life (painful to type this).The reason I ended the relationship was surrounding the fact that I was becoming increasingly bothered (depressed) by the fact that our sex was very much lackluster. In retrospect, i think this stemmed from the fact that, while she was very kind and sweet, i couldn't get past her shyness at times. It was her first ever relationship and she didn't really ever speak up about things (good or bad). I dare to say, i think i found to be almost too innocent for me; and I never really felt challenged. I struggled for months to convince myself that i had a perfect thing, and that i was just being a complainer. However, my instinct at the time told me it was the right thing to do, and i very reluctantly broke things off. This absolutely devastated her and she eventually moved out. We saw each other on and off a few months afterwards, but things eventually ended. In the year since, I spent a long time not dating or doing anything really. Over the past few months I've been getting back out there, but haven't found anything worthwhile. However, I would say I've been rather content with things over the past few months. I recently turned 30 and I'm in the process of finding a new apartment while juggling my hectic job. As i was going through my belongings, i found a few old pictures of me and my ex, along with some personalized gifts she had made for me. This suddenly hit me with a wave of emotions that overwhelmed me. Now I feel utterly depressed thinking about all the "What ifs". I'm pretty sure if we'd stuck together we'd be married by now. As i sit here typing this, i cannot help but think of all the great times we had; and how much of an idiot i am for throwing away that relationship. I know she has a new boyfriend, which tells me to not even think about contacting her. What I cannot wrap my mind around is, am i genuinely missing my ex? Or am i just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I am alone in life? Any insight or thoughts would be so greatly appreciated.
Grumpybutfun Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 The decisions we make have consequences. Sure, you could be feeling maudlin for the relationship or you could be feeling regret that no mind blowing out going sexual nymph showed up with the kindness and sweetness your ex displayed. All I can offer you is that upsetting her happiness for your internal questioning is unkind. She deserves to have someone who loves her sweetness and innocence and who will work with her to unleash her sensuality. You made a choice so stick with it, G 1
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