caring guy Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Hi all I've posted my situation on other forums but i'd like some advice as to what you think i should do. In a nutshell. Me & my gf are 30, she has 2 kids. We've been together 17months. The last fiew have been a rough patch, taken for granted, complacency, lack of romance & as i'm coming off alcohol, (which is working), there's been coldness & arguments. We don't currently live together as there's been a cake & eat it situation from me, liking my own space etc. Lately my gf needed space & i not see her as much, i came to stay with her as the next day she was due to go on holiday with her mum, sister & kids. She told me a guy came round, an ex & was upset as he'd rowed with his gf & wanted to talk, they hugged & he kissed her & got carried away & gave her marks on her neck, then she pushed him away. She said she told this as i'd notice the marks. This was not true. A week earlier a guy made her feel good in a bar, they swapped email, had dinner one night, he came over one nigh t & they kissed & wanted more, but she said no because of wanting to try with me. I found this out by reading emails in an email address she'd left open. She hadn't planned to tell me until her return, but for the marks. They saw each other 3 times.No sex. She's told me aabout what happened & i trust this. We've talked since about hw she felt when i cooked her a meal before her holliday & she said she felt realy gulty. How i'm now ready to totally comit & be there, as she's at uni soon & i'm gonna be the house husband, proposed anyway! She feels i won't change & this other guy who's only 22 makes her feelnice. I said 'Actions speak louder than words" & only that can work. Time to prove! I buy her flowers, tell her i love her & how much she means, she just needs more comitment & that i'll be more attentive, respectful & wants to believe me, but only time tells & she knows this. I aint got a time machine!! She's agreed to let me show her over time, should i tell her i'm not playing second fiddle to him & that if she seees me for my chance, she has to cut ties with him. If i mess up, she's his. If i'm making the effort to show her, she can't be seing him can she!?? Now when she gets home should i do the romantic thing with roses, strawberries & chocs, hot bath,, nice ittle note, candles, or would that be too pushy. I have the oppertunity to surprise her, as i know when she's coming back off holiday. I just know that occasionally he may text her & as i'm in her house sometimes, it makes me sick to know what may have gone on there. As i say i buy her floweres, little gifts & tell her i love her everyday & i know my faults & wanna make it right. There's been times i've let her down & she's not trusted me, i guess were even now, but i never would stray. Should i do all the romantic thing on her return, it should make it hit home to how i feel. I just don't want to be oppressive & pushy, but ittle things like this are what she's wanted from me! Help Please CG
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