Dio castillo Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 So I met this girl online, we really had chemistry and she seems really dig me, she read my profile and knows I work at fashion industry so wanted to go shopping with me. Then I asked her out, I set our date on a weekend 2pm afternoon. She was late for 40 minutes which I had to swallow since a lot of women do these days. Anyway, long story short, I took her to a coffee place and I can tell that she was really attracted to me, keep asking me all kinds of questions and very eager to know more about me. After that we went shopping I gave her many fashion advises and hand pick many styles for her to try on, and she LOVE the styles that I choose and keep praise my fashion taste.(I didn't buy anything for her because I think it wouldn't be proper) I had a whole plan set up including dinner, however, she had to tell me she had other date with her high school friends and had to leave early. This annoys me because I just had few days that are off, and I want to do something that is fun and productive. My question is: If she is really attracted to me, why would she schedule a meeting with her friends after our date? This just kills all the romantic feelings and excitement. Do girls do this on purpose? Let me know you guys opinions. Thanks
clia Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 If I had a first date with a guy at 2 p.m., I would not assume it would last through dinner and into the evening. I would expect 2-3 hours at most and that I had my evening free to do what I wanted. Did you tell her in advance that you were planning on dinner and an entire evening out? IMO, that's way too much for a first date anyway, so you are probably better off. The fact that she was 40 minutes late was incredibly rude, though. I'm surprised you waited that long for her to show up. I would've left after 10-15 minutes. 5
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 If I had a first date with a guy at 2 p.m., I would not assume it would last through dinner and into the evening. I would expect 2-3 hours at most and that I had my evening free to do what I wanted. Did you tell her in advance that you were planning on dinner and an entire evening out? IMO, that's way too much for a first date anyway, so you are probably better off. The fact that she was 40 minutes late was incredibly rude, though. I'm surprised you waited that long for her to show up. I would've left after 10-15 minutes. Exactly this. It was only a first date. 1
Author Dio castillo Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 If I had a first date with a guy at 2 p.m., I would not assume it would last through dinner and into the evening. I would expect 2-3 hours at most and that I had my evening free to do what I wanted. Did you tell her in advance that you were planning on dinner and an entire evening out? IMO, that's way too much for a first date anyway, so you are probably better off. The fact that she was 40 minutes late was incredibly rude, though. I'm surprised you waited that long for her to show up. I would've left after 10-15 minutes. I didn't tell her in advance, so that's probably why, I had many other 1st dates before,and it usually last after dinner, so I just think this is normal and tend to stick to that. Yeah, because she kept communicating through messenger that she was sorry and on her way, so I didn't ditch her out.
act00 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I wouldn't expect a first date to last several hours. One, two, maybe three. Your date was at 2 in the afternoon. I wouldn't expect it to continue on into the evening. Did you express you were planning a 6-8 hour date? I certainly wouldn't agree to that, not on the first date. I'm surprised you waited for 40 minutes. Hopefully this was just a one-off and she isn't this inconsiderate all the time. There's no way I would have waited around for that. After 15 minutes, I would be headed home.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I'm not sure why you waited the 40 minutes. I can't help but wonder if she was doing & saying anything just to get the free fashion advice but she otherwise wasn't as into you are you are to her. 1
Author Dio castillo Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 I'm not sure why you waited the 40 minutes. I can't help but wonder if she was doing & saying anything just to get the free fashion advice but she otherwise wasn't as into you are you are to her. men, you are a bit cynical but I don't blame you, but she had been praising the way I dress and the way I look since we were chating on internet. when she find out that I know how to dance, she even want to dance with me. It all happened before we met. besides, how hard is it to get a fashion advice? you can flip through any fashion magnetize like Vogue to get any fashion know hows. She wouldn't be going all the way to go out with a GUY to get one, don't you think?
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 You are right anybody can look in a magazine but you acted like a personal stylist for her & that is more difficult to come by. Given that she was 40 minutes late she could just be so self involved, she has no idea that you want more Either way, I don't think she's a good prospect.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I would have rescheduled the date. Don't wait that long for anyone. What was her reason for being so late? Yeah, most dates don't last as long a you had planned. She planned something else for after the date, so next time you should give a heads-up. You did lose 40-minutes, so how long did you two actually spend together?
Author Dio castillo Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 I would have rescheduled the date. Don't wait that long for anyone. What was her reason for being so late? Yeah, most dates don't last as long a you had planned. She planned something else for after the date, so next time you should give a heads-up. You did lose 40-minutes, so how long did you two actually spend together? Like two and half hours the most, she said she had to take her pets to hospital that's the reason. I had many dates before, it usually went as long as I have planned, but next time I am sure will notify them in advance.
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Not everyone wants a 4 hour date. Most expect a 45 min first date so keep that in mind. Dinner dates are more appropriate for a second or third date....if you made it that far then you can get all fancy and stuff. Why spend all that money on a first date when you prob won't get another one out of them right? 1
starrynight4321 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 (edited) I think people are reading way too much into this. I think the answer is really simple - she didn't realize you intended to have the date last several hours and to get dinner, so she made plans with her friends afterwards. That's most likely it. In the future, just mention it. "Let's go shopping at 2pm, and then let's have dinner afterwards." That way, you both know what the intended plan is for the date and can modify accordingly. Everybody wins. She didn't go on the date with you for fashion advice. She didn't think less of you for planning a longer date. This stuff is way too cynical. There is also nothing wrong with going on a 4 hour first date if both people agree. I've been on hour long first dates and a lot of 4-5 hour first dates. These things don't follow strict guidelines, you just do what feels right. I actually prefer longer first dates because 1) if the guy wants to put in that much time for a first date, he's a little less likely to be a clown and 2) I can actually get to know the person much better to see if I'm interested. You did nothing wrong. It actually seems like she did like you, there was just a miscommunication. Of course, it is always possible that she cut the date short because she just didn't feel the chemistry. It's hard to say for sure, because your description makes it sound like you two had a great time. I do think it was extremely rude of her to show up 40 minutes late. It was kind of you to be patient but I couldn't tolerate that if it's a pattern. To me it says she's a little self-centered and lacks consideration for other people's time. I'm not sure that's a quality you want in your partner. But her lateness has nothing to do with you. I'm willing to bet she'd be up for a second date. This time, just make sure you let her know your full intended plans. Good luck. Edited May 30, 2017 by starrynight4321
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