Zizi77 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I knew my ex two months ago, im 32 he is 28. He was too nice to me and agreeable to whatever i said and made me feel like a princess. And within 3 days he said he wants me and like me so much and wants to marry me. We dated so many times almost every day in a month, but things started to changed one month after that. I went to his mothers house, and he commented that his mother said im way too old for him (im 4 ys elder) and his mum said i cant get pregnant and will look old in the future.* And also said im not friendly during our first meeting. And his mum commented so many other things which broke my heart, eventhough i was being so nice to her in our first meeting. (Brought cake to her house and was abit shy and polite in our first meeting, she was keep on playing with her hp and quiet. She didnt aporoach me much. Only his younger siblings was asking me questions. All below 25ys old.* This guy was still dating and giving me future and marriage hopes, and he asked me to visit his mother again to correct back the situation. I did visit again, and this time i was friendly with his mom and helped her on all the kitchen stuffs. The next days i texted her mum just to be friendly on how she is and whether she had lunch. She didnt replied. But after 2 days, she replied that family has made the decision (his siblings and his mom) she doesnt want me to contact her son and her son also will not contact me and ask to end the relationship. I sent the text to his son, he seems like so cool and as he already knew about it. We argued and i told him that he shouldnt give me hopes if he knew his mother doesnt like me since beginning since i was taking it was not so serius till this extent. I told him that we go together to your mom and explain to her that we love each other, but he seems not interested and he stopped to contact me for one week. During this i cried as hell. Then initiated and called him back after one week, and plan to meet the next day to discuss on how to save this relationship. But then he cancelled plan on the next day and send a long message that he wants to end the relationship. I called him and we argued again, and he said he could leave the world for his mother even me, and his mom wants the best for him and he said if i really wants him, asked me to asked his mum again and apologize to her again and again for one of two months if she agrees (IF). Its like begging her mum. He told me that dont let her mom know that he told me this. I was really confused as he is too scared of his mum and siblings. I called him and cursed him. I felt like i was being played off by him. Because if he really loves me, he would not leave me and should have contacted me as he knows my condition, was crying badly and sick. He called me once and said he missed me and no call after that. He started to contact another girl everynight the same time he used to call me. Im so heartbroken and depressed. Should i beg him and his mum?
Altair0770 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Hell no you shouldn't beg for him or his mom. I hate to be rude, but this guy is a momma's boy. If he truly loved you, he would tell his mother, ESPECIALLY AT 28, that he is an adult and can make his own decision. Do you see a real future with this guy? He sounds like a freeloader that wants to be with mommy his entire life. I know you love him, but trust me you will want those feelings to fade. Find a man, not a boy. It's hard at first. Trust me, my ex is NO GOOD for me. I wanted her back so bad, and nearly committed suicide after the relationship ended. I then imagined my life if we did get married. I'd be miserable, and trust me, you will be too if you date this guy and get married. If he's more interested in his mother's approval than he is in being in a relationship with you, then you didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear missile.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Any man who tells you after 3 days that he wants to marry you is not to be believed. This guy is a total mamma's boy. He's never going to cut those apron strings. He's not a real man. Move on. You are better off without him.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 Im so heartbroken and depressed. Should i beg him and his mum? NO. It is difficult, but you need to find a mature young man to date. His relationship with his mother would only prove to be smothering and controlling. I cannot imagine being with someone who is not independent. Does he still live with his family? At age 28? Does he have a steady job?
varicose Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I knew my ex two months ago, im 32 he is 28. He was too nice to me and agreeable to whatever i said and made me feel like a princess. And within 3 days he said he wants me and like me so much and wants to marry me. We dated so many times almost every day in a month, but things started to changed one month after that. I went to his mothers house, and he commented that his mother said im way too old for him (im 4 ys elder) and his mum said i cant get pregnant and will look old in the future.* And also said im not friendly during our first meeting. And his mum commented so many other things which broke my heart, eventhough i was being so nice to her in our first meeting. (Brought cake to her house and was abit shy and polite in our first meeting, she was keep on playing with her hp and quiet. She didnt aporoach me much. Only his younger siblings was asking me questions. All below 25ys old.* This guy was still dating and giving me future and marriage hopes, and he asked me to visit his mother again to correct back the situation. I did visit again, and this time i was friendly with his mom and helped her on all the kitchen stuffs. The next days i texted her mum just to be friendly on how she is and whether she had lunch. She didnt replied. But after 2 days, she replied that family has made the decision (his siblings and his mom) she doesnt want me to contact her son and her son also will not contact me and ask to end the relationship. I sent the text to his son, he seems like so cool and as he already knew about it. We argued and i told him that he shouldnt give me hopes if he knew his mother doesnt like me since beginning since i was taking it was not so serius till this extent. I told him that we go together to your mom and explain to her that we love each other, but he seems not interested and he stopped to contact me for one week. During this i cried as hell. Then initiated and called him back after one week, and plan to meet the next day to discuss on how to save this relationship. But then he cancelled plan on the next day and send a long message that he wants to end the relationship. I called him and we argued again, and he said he could leave the world for his mother even me, and his mom wants the best for him and he said if i really wants him, asked me to asked his mum again and apologize to her again and again for one of two months if she agrees (IF). Its like begging her mum. He told me that dont let her mom know that he told me this. I was really confused as he is too scared of his mum and siblings. I called him and cursed him. I felt like i was being played off by him. Because if he really loves me, he would not leave me and should have contacted me as he knows my condition, was crying badly and sick. He called me once and said he missed me and no call after that. He started to contact another girl everynight the same time he used to call me. Im so heartbroken and depressed. Should i beg him and his mum? This is a lot like my situation with my ex. I know it's very degrading to be treated like that on a basis of your age (in my case it was race and religion too), but honestly his mom sounds like a horrible person. Imagine the hell she would make your life if you stayed with him. This may be harsh, but I believe people who think that way about other humans are not good people. It's best to stay away, so in a way he did you a favor.
preraph Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I'm very sorry this happened, but I have to give you a dose of reality now. Agewise, you were close enough together. That wasn't the problem. But maturity-wise, he is still very immature. He started talking marriage as soon as he met you, before he even knew you and what type of person you are. A mature person realizes it takes months and years to get to know someone well enough to marry them. The second sign of immaturity is he's still doing what his mommy tells him, because he's not mature enough to make his own decisions. When a man becomes a man, he breaks those strings and no longer lets his parents control him. Now, I have trouble even finding direct fault with his mother here except that she maybe hasn't trained him to become an adult and maybe never will. But aside from that, she knew he was in over his head way too soon and about to get himself in an adult situation he was in no way ready for, so she blew the whistle, and it becomes an "it is what it is" because if he were a man, she could blow the whistle all she wanted and he wouldn't do what she said. But proof that he is not mature enough to marry and make a life with someone is that he obeyed like the little boy that he still is. You dodged a bullet because you don't want to marry a little boy who is used to his Mommy making decisions and doing for him because all that happens is you become that substitute and it isn't sexy.
Author Zizi77 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Hell no you shouldn't beg for him or his mom. I hate to be rude, but this guy is a momma's boy. If he truly loved you, he would tell his mother, ESPECIALLY AT 28, that he is an adult and can make his own decision. Do you see a real future with this guy? He sounds like a freeloader that wants to be with mommy his entire life. I know you love him, but trust me you will want those feelings to fade. Find a man, not a boy. It's hard at first. Trust me, my ex is NO GOOD for me. I wanted her back so bad, and nearly committed suicide after the relationship ended. I then imagined my life if we did get married. I'd be miserable, and trust me, you will be too if you date this guy and get married. If he's more interested in his mother's approval than he is in being in a relationship with you, then you didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear missile. He did said that he did fought with his mother because of me. I dont know how true is this. Now its only me making effort by involving my family to save this. But i think its not worth now.
Author Zizi77 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Any man who tells you after 3 days that he wants to marry you is not to be believed. This guy is a total mamma's boy. He's never going to cut those apron strings. He's not a real man. Move on. You are better off without him. Yes. I will move on. Agree with you. I couldnt stand when he always taking about his mom and siblings. Actually we suppose to know each other first as it was only 2 mths relation. But he did everything so fast till i was doubt at first his intention. My gut feeling was right. Things that get so fast cant be real. 1
Author Zizi77 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 NO. It is difficult, but you need to find a mature young man to date. His relationship with his mother would only prove to be smothering and controlling. I cannot imagine being with someone who is not independent. Does he still live with his family? At age 28? Does he have a steady job? He has a quite steady job as a manager. But he only has diploma. Im a degree holder with steady job as well. He is the only one working well in his family, other sibling not working that well and kind of spoilt. He lived with his family in a small apartment. He just bought big condo recently and brought me to see his new house. Even we went to buy the new house things together. His mum gets jealous maybe because im a new person and his son already involving me in his new house. Earlier he told me that only me and him and siblings will be staying. But i think his mum will be also be staying together.
Author Zizi77 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 This is a lot like my situation with my ex. I know it's very degrading to be treated like that on a basis of your age (in my case it was race and religion too), but honestly his mom sounds like a horrible person. Imagine the hell she would make your life if you stayed with him. This may be harsh, but I believe people who think that way about other humans are not good people. It's best to stay away, so in a way he did you a favor. Yes. Agree. She is so mean to me. She judged me wrongly. I feel so low when she degraded to me such level. She is not good. Whoever married to his son will have the same problem as she will be never happy. She has divorced twice. And my ex is helping her in all household and financial. He did ask about my financial status, and i told him im willing to help him wherever possible.
Author Zizi77 Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 (edited) I'm very sorry this happened, but I have to give you a dose of reality now. Agewise, you were close enough together. That wasn't the problem. But maturity-wise, he is still very immature. He started talking marriage as soon as he met you, before he even knew you and what type of person you are. A mature person realizes it takes months and years to get to know someone well enough to marry them. The second sign of immaturity is he's still doing what his mommy tells him, because he's not mature enough to make his own decisions. When a man becomes a man, he breaks those strings and no longer lets his parents control him. Now, I have trouble even finding direct fault with his mother here except that she maybe hasn't trained him to become an adult and maybe never will. But aside from that, she knew he was in over his head way too soon and about to get himself in an adult situation he was in no way ready for, so she blew the whistle, and it becomes an "it is what it is" because if he were a man, she could blow the whistle all she wanted and he wouldn't do what she said. But proof that he is not mature enough to marry and make a life with someone is that he obeyed like the little boy that he still is. You dodged a bullet because you don't want to marry a little boy who is used to his Mommy making decisions and doing for him because all that happens is you become that substitute and it isn't sexy. Ur right. He listens to his mum. Fyi, he has engaged 4years ago. And i have contacted that girl to ask his background. And she told me that this guy also proposed her in 3 days to get married. And he loves his mum alot and only listens to her mom. They was about to get married in few months, suddenly he started to gave excuse this and that. So they broke off with. She said she was lucky didnt print any wedding card. But this guy told me that this girl was having another affair during our 2nd meeting. And thats y he left him. She is married and happy with her life now with one kid. Edited May 31, 2017 by Zizi77 1
preraph Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Maybe his mom told him not to have sex until married so he thinks he better propose right away!
Recommended Posts