jjgitties Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Dear OP Lorenza. What I dont get is, if you are beautiful and socially capable, why do you need to resort to dating app(s)? Are you not able to go to your favorite bar IRL and just sit there and smile and be approached by men and pick the tallest and most handsome of the bunch?
phineas Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 very few women on tinder and bumble ask my height before meeting me because most women are between 5'2" and 5'4". Sometimes the taller women 5'6"+ ask my height. but if she's short and asks my height...i'l ask how much she weighs. 2
Mumbles Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Agreed with other posters responses, but I am slightly surprised that in this day and age some OLD sites or whatever the OP is using doesn't have this feature. It used to be pretty standard on these types of sites back when they first started to appear in a big way on the internet. I think more modern iterations largely dropped the the practise because it became a redundant feature that didn't serve any purpose. The reason is that people, most people, just outright lied or didn't enter anything. I've yet to find one that doesn't ask height, weight, skin color or hair color. For the better they have yet to ask about our ''other size''. I haven't tried OLD sites for ages, at least a decade. Even back then though, questions might be asked, but a lot of the time the responses were not available to be viewed by casual browsers. I suspect the intent was to use the information for database searches or some kind of data mining. However, as above, there is so much false data usually put in about height and weight particularly, that the data is largely redundant. Because of the way that OLD works, in our brains, as humans, almost all of the data collected is fluff in any case. Given that so much of the response to personal data is false, almost everyone I know disregards the information entirely. The only thing you can't completely fake is a photo. Face shot, full body shot. Granted, even here, people use 'fake' photos, or photos of themselves at an opportune time in their lives (fitter, younger, whatever). If you're ultimately going to meet though, its the photo that does it I think. Most friends of mine who use OLD, and theres only a few in total tbh, start their adventure by being almost completely honest. They might shave off a couple of pounds in their weight, but otherwise, they're upfront. After getting a less than expected response, the 'tweaking' takes place, they get taller, slimmer, younger... and inevitably responses increase. Its a flawed system who's very nature encourages dishonesty. 1
Author Lorenza Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Dear OP Lorenza. What I dont get is, if you are beautiful and socially capable, why do you need to resort to dating app(s)? Are you not able to go to your favorite bar IRL and just sit there and smile and be approached by men and pick the tallest and most handsome of the bunch? It doesn't always work here. It's not at all that usual for men to approach women at the bar. You don't know Scandinavian people. Besides I don't drink and rarely go out cause there's little that attracts me to bars and clubs. And one more thing, I already said I'm not looking for the most handsome guy, so don't make it sound like that. He doesn't have to be particularly very handsome and can be plain and average, I don't mind the details. Personality plays much bigger part.
Andy_K Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Let's face it, a significant majority of girls want a guy who is physically bigger than them, so the OP's preference is hardly unusual or unfair. Although if she's 6'3" and 200lbs it'll be difficult
Author Lorenza Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Let's face it, a significant majority of girls want a guy who is physically bigger than them, so the OP's preference is hardly unusual or unfair. Although if she's 6'3" and 200lbs it'll be difficult Luckily neither that tall nor that heavy
No_Go Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 very few women on tinder and bumble ask my height before meeting me because most women are between 5'2" and 5'4". Sometimes the taller women 5'6"+ ask my height. but if she's short and asks my height...i'l ask how much she weighs. Haha, honestly what's wrong with disclosing height&weight? I always do this so there are no surprises. I'd be more scared if someone is ashamed from their height/weight, not because of the number itself, but because of the low confidence associated with it. I have when a guy asks me for extra pictures because I think he's just looking for visuals and / or doesn't trust me, but if anyone asks me for height, weight, whatever body stats - absolutely no problem from my end.
No_Go Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 How tall are you Lorenza? Why don't you mention your own height in the profile, guys shorter than you most likely won't approach anyway then. In most apps you can set a cut off - like at least 5'10 or whatever. Also I'm surprised men in Scandinavia are not very tall... Is it impolite and shallow to ask about someone's body type online? I usually chat about deeper and more personal things to get to know their mind and soul, but try it as I might, if a guy is too skinny and shorter than me (I'm a tall girl), nothing helps to ignite any attraction. I feel shallow and immature, but it is how it is. How to politely find out about someone's body type and height? Do I just ask straight up (How tall are you? How'd you describe your build?) or go around (Btw, so that you know, I'm [my height]). I don't want to sound obsessed by appearance. I'm not looking for Mr Handsome with a body of a fitness model either. Is it crazy to care about these things?
Author Lorenza Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 How tall are you Lorenza? Why don't you mention your own height in the profile, guys shorter than you most likely won't approach anyway then. In most apps you can set a cut off - like at least 5'10 or whatever. Also I'm surprised men in Scandinavia are not very tall... I'm not even that extremely tall, only 5'9, but the guys I went out with lately were all either my height or shorter. Scandinavian men are known to be tall, but I'm seeing that it's about to change. Not sure what it depends on. In general I think I just didn't clarify what I'm looking for. Gonna make sure straight away next time!
Chilli Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 (edited) Yeah , no expert with dates sites l was only on them a few mths. But yeah that was all on their page in mine. Height and build and stuff. it had boxes for what your looking for too , in heights and stuff. Couldn't imagine sites not having that stuff, how bloody ridiculous. That wasn't a problem on mine but the pics were or asking later for better pics. l was amazed, just gobsmacked at the trouble and stalling and excuses some girls went to to avoid that when l'd be trying to ask, effg mind boggling. But others were really cool about it like , oh yeah sure, 1 second later she'd send through more pics. Lorenz just put on your page you prefer someone your height at least or 6ft or whatever you do prefer, there's nothing wrong with that. Edited May 31, 2017 by Chilli
joseb Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I'm not even that extremely tall, only 5'9, but the guys I went out with lately were all either my height or shorter. Scandinavian men are known to be tall, but I'm seeing that it's about to change. Not sure what it depends on. In general I think I just didn't clarify what I'm looking for. Gonna make sure straight away next time! Average height for guys in scandaniva is about 5'11 so I'm guessing at least 60% are taller than you. Heights are increasing, not decreasing.
joseb Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I find it beyond unbelievable that there's dating websites out there that don't make men list their height. That's like the #2 dating requirement for women ... barely behind straight/gay. I mean, seriously what were those people thinking. They want to get as much "traffic" as possible on the sites. That's why they don't employ filters to reduce it.
joseb Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Lorenz just put on your page you prefer someone your height at least or 6ft or whatever you do prefer, there's nothing wrong with that. This. Just say "I'm 5 9 and prefer someone talker. And I love meeting foreign people". 2
Author Lorenza Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Average height for guys in scandaniva is about 5'11 so I'm guessing at least 60% are taller than you. Heights are increasing, not decreasing. You'd be surprised to see younger generations here. Seems like the youth is getting shorter and more frail. Not that it has much to do with me, but that's an observation. Yeah I guess there's that kind of statistics, but I'm living in a capital with a huge variety of people so you can't just blindly trust your date is gonna be tall cause the majority is supposed to be. Besides I'm not even inclined to date Scandinavian men to begin with ) so yes I guess it's easiest for me to just put a suggested text in my profile without worrying about being shallow. There's otherwise a lot of other things that I mention that show there's more to me besides the physical preference.
dishwater Posted June 1, 2017 Posted June 1, 2017 Is it impolite and shallow to ask about someone's body type online? I usually chat about deeper and more personal things to get to know their mind and soul, but try it as I might, if a guy is too skinny and shorter than me (I'm a tall girl), nothing helps to ignite any attraction. I feel shallow and immature, but it is how it is. How to politely find out about someone's body type and height? Do I just ask straight up (How tall are you? How'd you describe your build?) or go around (Btw, so that you know, I'm [my height]). I don't want to sound obsessed by appearance. I'm not looking for Mr Handsome with a body of a fitness model either. Is it crazy to care about these things? If you are a tall girl, I understand it would be kind of uncomfortable to go out with a really short guy. I don't think it wrong to ask a guy or gal about their height and weight. 1
Author Lorenza Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 I take my words back. Height and build is NOT that important to me apparently. Recently found myself attracted to someone with a body type that isn't what I'd normally go for, cause of his super interesting personality and other things summed up all together. The guy was probably as strong as me physically due to him not weighing much more and he wasnt that much taller either. I think I won't be paying much attention to body type anymore. Personality > exterior things 2
goldenlotus Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Lorenza, that's awesome! So happy for you! The old age/weight conundrum. I'm short and I prefer shorter men, so I never need to ask anyone about this, but I have a lot of tall friends. Most of them say they want a guy taller than them, but you'd be surprised how many end up with someone their own height or a bit shorter. Often what we think our preferences are can be overcome by an amazing personality and an incredible smile. I did want to say that I notice a lot of guys saying that if asked height, they would want to ask weight. I do understand that compulsion, but asking someone's weight is a different thing entirely. If someone is 5'7'', they are 5'7'', full stop. But with weight, body type matters. I remember talking to a few women close in height who discovered they all weighed the same, 150 pounds. One of the girls was noticeably overweight, one was very athletic, slender, and muscular. The other was slightly thicker but had a curvy figure, she looked like Jessica Rabbit. The lesson here is for people to upload recent full body photos, list their height, and above all to keep an open mind.
TheFinalWord Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 My intentions were to find out if people think that it's best to ask straight out or if that's rude. And no, I don't feel any underlying guilt about it I'm more worried about not wasting more of anyone's time, since my last few dates felt like exactly that. hmm, yes it's a bit rude, but if you care that much about it, then I guess you can ask and find out. it would be sort of like asking a girl her bra size. I guess some wouldn't care, but I probably wouldn't ask that over an internet site lol If you're using eharmony or one of the sites that somehow thinks because people match up on those silly 1000 questions somehow cancels out physical attractiveness, you could put in your profile that you are tall and only wish to date men above a certain height and like a certain build.
guest569 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I take my words back. Height and build is NOT that important to me apparently. Recently found myself attracted to someone with a body type that isn't what I'd normally go for, cause of his super interesting personality and other things summed up all together. The guy was probably as strong as me physically due to him not weighing much more and he wasnt that much taller either. I think I won't be paying much attention to body type anymore. Personality > exterior things That's great! I'm a big fan of just biting the bullet and meeting if interested. You never know if there will be attraction until then and it sometimes takes me a few dates. Maybe some consider that inefficient but it is part of the process.
lurker74 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 your shallow too you're* If you're going to be judgmental and condescending at least try to get your grammar right. LMGTFY 3
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