Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 I was seeing someone and after 3 weeks he asked if we were official and I said yes. He was so affectionate,kissing me,holding my hand. Would text,ring me every day all day. Only problem was he lived 50 mins away and I don't drive and he didn't have a car so he would have to borrow a friends car to see me. When we were together we had fun and he even said he wasn't normally this botherd this early on. Spoke about getting serious and did I want kids. After 2 1/2 months he started being distant and not texting as much etc 3 days later he dissapeared ..he had a new girlfriend who lived 5 mins from him. I couldn't believe it,he did say many times he wished I lived closer but I didn't think he would dump me because of it. He didn't even end it properly he just ghosted me.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 I was seeing someone and after 3 weeks he asked if we were official and I said yes. He was so affectionate,kissing me,holding my hand. Would text,ring me every day all day. Only problem was he lived 50 mins away and I don't drive and he didn't have a car so he would have to borrow a friends car to see me. When we were together we had fun and he even said he wasn't normally this botherd this early on. Spoke about getting serious and did I want kids. After 2 1/2 months he started being distant and not texting as much etc 3 days later he dissapeared ..he had a new girlfriend who lived 5 mins from him. I couldn't believe it,he did say many times he wished I lived closer but I didn't think he would dump me because of it. He didn't even end it properly he just ghosted me. Sorry, but distance makes a HUGE difference in relationships. How old are you two and why don't you have a car? Why didn't he? Long distance is very difficult and you two had no chance with neither of you having a form of convenient, reliable transportation. He did what was natural, really as you should. Find someone who is willing to accept that you cannot drive and/or in walking/public transport distance from you. Even when dating someone local, having transportation says A LOT. I won't date anyone who does not have their own car. Having your own working vehicle says A LOT too.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 I'm 31 and I can drive but was involved in a crash 5 years ago and I've been scared to drive ever since. He doesn't have a car because he can't afford one ...he is 33. I didn't think 50 mins would make a difference but he would have to borrow a friends car and obviously if they were using it he couldn't get it. He could of took the train but that would of been a nightmare for him getting to work for 7am.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 He could of took public transport ..it would of been 15 mins on bus then 40 mins on train then 15 min walk ..so it was doable
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 He could of took public transport ..it would of been 15 mins on bus then 40 mins on train then 15 min walk ..so it was doable Too many inconvenient factors to consider. It is common for people to lose interest in long distance partners when they can find someone local. This was further compounded by the fact that neither of you have reliable transportation of your own. No need to dwell on this guy. He's found someone else. You should too. 1
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 4 weeks ago. This is the second guy in 5-6 months who has ended it with me this way who lived in this city. Maybe I need to stick to those in same city
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 I thought it was different with this one. He told me that he never felt like this about anyone so quickly. Fell for it again
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 I thought it was different with this one. He told me that he never felt like this about anyone so quickly. Fell for it again Did the two of you have sex? Some guys will consider a long distance 'hook-up' to get the sex and then have a clear out to end it. Distance is a convenient way to end things. I tried LD once and it worked out, but we made it a point to visit as often as possible, talk daily and have a plan to close the gap. We had the means to visit each other as often as possible and my experience was of another state about 1k miles away, so you can imagine w/o convenient transportation, it is doomed to fail.
Whodatdog Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 He could of took public transport ..it would of been 15 mins on bus then 40 mins on train then 15 min walk ..so it was doable You could have taken public transport too, instead of having him doing all the traveling. Its very inconvenient borrowing someone else's car all the time, and its not fair to the owner of the car. They have that car because they need it, they pay for it. Sadly there was too much inconvenience here. 2
Whodatdog Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 Is this the same guy who dumped you back in January? You said he lived 40 minutes away also. can you find someone closer?? 1
stillafool Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 4 weeks ago. This is the second guy in 5-6 months who has ended it with me this way who lived in this city. Maybe I need to stick to those in same city Yeah start sticking to the guys in your city. You have bad luck with guys that live a distance.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 Is this the same guy who dumped you back in January? You said he lived 40 minutes away also. can you find someone closer?? This was a different guy but he lived in the same city as my ex. Well actually a little further north of the city.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 You could have taken public transport too, instead of having him doing all the traveling. Its very inconvenient borrowing someone else's car all the time, and its not fair to the owner of the car. They have that car because they need it, they pay for it. Sadly there was too much inconvenience here. I did but he didn't have his own place either,he lived with his younger sister and it was really awkward to go to hers. He actually drives the car really often but most of the time cycles to work on his bike.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 29, 2017 Author Posted May 29, 2017 Now the new girlfriend (local one) has all his family on her Facebook now,mum and sisters. That's really hurtful..he talked about introducing me but it never happened. He felt are good enough to meet the family but not me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. This guy seemed happy with me. The only thing he hated was driving over when he was tired after work..that was the only thing,no arguments or anything.
mightycpa Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 He doesn't have a car because he can't afford one ...he is 33.Think of his ghosting as his way of telling you that you should aim higher.
Daisy2013 Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 At 33 and living with sister and can't afford a car, I don't see a big loss here. Not saying he needs to be wealthy, but at least self-supporting. 1
Neel Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 I was seeing someone and after 3 weeks he asked if we were official and I said yes. He was so affectionate,kissing me,holding my hand. Would text,ring me every day all day. Only problem was he lived 50 mins away and I don't drive and he didn't have a car so he would have to borrow a friends car to see me. When we were together we had fun and he even said he wasn't normally this botherd this early on. Spoke about getting serious and did I want kids. After 2 1/2 months he started being distant and not texting as much etc 3 days later he dissapeared ..he had a new girlfriend who lived 5 mins from him. I couldn't believe it,he did say many times he wished I lived closer but I didn't think he would dump me because of it. He didn't even end it properly he just ghosted me. Based on the timing of dumping (2 & 1/2 months) - does not really require too much of a thought. Distance had nothing to do with this. Not to say how small it is. When someone wants to dump you, will happen no matter if you say distance or not. On the other hand, if you are truly important for the other person, values you & does not play with you - you will not get dumped. Anything apart of that is simply superfluous.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 Do you not think him meeting the other girl who lived closer was one of the reasons? If up to this point I thought he was happy with me
Whodatdog Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 He obviously liked the other girl better, otherwise he wouldnt have dumped you for her. You are really making it extremely difficult to form a relationship with these guys. Long distance, no transportation. Its doomed before you even start.
Whodatdog Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I did but he didn't have his own place either,he lived with his younger sister and it was really awkward to go to hers. He actually drives the car really often but most of the time cycles to work on his bike. Its not awkward to get a motel room for a couple of days if the relationship is worth pursuing. You are making a whole lot of excuses for why this relationship didnt work. It shouldnt be that hard.
preraph Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 I hate to say it but to him, women are pretty interchangeable, so his emotions for them don't run very deep.
springy Posted May 30, 2017 Posted May 30, 2017 He has no car and lives with his sister in another city. You are afraid to drive. Where was this realistically going to go? Best if you stop checking his social media. He has moved on. Due to your limitations dating locally seems like the more reasonable option for you. 2
Author Louisesarah Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 He obviously liked the other girl better, otherwise he wouldnt have dumped you for her. You are really making it extremely difficult to form a relationship with these guys. Long distance, no transportation. Its doomed before you even start. How am I making it difficult? He told me he never normally cared about women as quick as ha did for me ..obviously I thought he was into me because it came from his mouth.
Author Louisesarah Posted May 30, 2017 Author Posted May 30, 2017 He has no car and lives with his sister in another city. You are afraid to drive. Where was this realistically going to go? Best if you stop checking his social media. He has moved on. Due to your limitations dating locally seems like the more reasonable option for you. He told me he didn't mind driving over so I assumed it wouldn't be a problem and that he would just keep driving to mine
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