Rejected again

[Fishforbreakfast]

Online dating has been so hard. I have been on 4 dates with 4 different guys and all but one rejected me. I feel like I look like my photos, I talk the whole time and ask questions and laugh alot, I just don't know what's so wrong with me. 2 of the guys who rejected me were very different to my usual type so no one can say I should lower my standards because I did and even then I got rejected. I feel like giving up but don't want to die alone. My ex was literally the most attractive guy I had ever seen (I thought that before I met him so it wasn't bias) and my ex before him was also really attractive, so I thought maybe I can't be that ugly to have 2 decent looking ex bf and I know that I'm a nice person but I must just have something very repelling about me and I don't know how to change it because I don't know what it is. I'm really stressing. My friends all say I'm "quirky" and "odd" in my personality, maybe that's offputting? My exs have been weird as well but that's why we connected so well. I feel so alone and sad, I think I'm a nice person and would like to meet someone but for some reason can't get past a first date Has anyone else had similiar experiences??

[CptInsano]

What I can say is that lowering my standards has never worked for me. It either was a really awkward match, and/or my lack of enthusiasm became obvious. I'm all about dating different types, finding what may attract you in ways you hadn't even considered, but purposely dating sonebody, or having sex with somebody, I didn't find attractive just ended in a few fiascos that stopped me from repeating that approach.

 

You say that your are quirky and odd, which may be compatible with a certain type, but also not with everyone. But what really stood out in your post was that you were "stressed", didn't want to die alone, and that your ex was the most attractive man you ever met.

 

Sorry, but this really sounds like you are trying too hard to make something fit that just wasn't meant to be.

[caitlinf33]

Hi,

 

Am relatively new to OLD and have to say it's a real scene. Much more comolicated than dating was 15-20 years ago.

 

Please don't be hard on yourself. OLD has made relationships disposable. You don't hit it off with someone right away, there are 1000 more options a click away. It's kinda taken the hard work out of dating. I've met a real mixed bag of guys online, and it's certainly true that the second one of them says something even midldly annoying, I'm like "in to the next one."

 

The important thing is that you just keep trying. It may take 10, 100, 1000 dates but I think you will eventually find someone worthy!

 

Oh and as last note, you are not defined by the man you date. Never stop investing in yourself and becoming a better person. Deriving a sense of confidence and knowing your self worth without a man at your side is one of the most important things you can do for yourself! Hang in there, girl!

[Fishforbreakfast]

What I can say is that lowering my standards has never worked for me. It either was a really awkward match, and/or my lack of enthusiasm became obvious. I'm all about dating different types, finding what may attract you in ways you hadn't even considered, but purposely dating sonebody, or having sex with somebody, I didn't find attractive just ended in a few fiascos that stopped me from repeating that approach.

 

You say that your are quirky and odd, which may be compatible with a certain type, but also not with everyone. But what really stood out in your post was that you were "stressed", didn't want to die alone, and that your ex was the most attractive man you ever met.

 

Sorry, but this really sounds like you are trying too hard to make something fit that just wasn't meant to be.

 

Hi thanks for your response. i was hoping the two I lowered my standards with there personality and charm would make me be attracted to them by we just didn't click at all. Not akward but no attractions. I don't even want any of them as boyfriends I guess I just still feel rejected because they don't want to see me again and feel like if I was better they would like me. My ex was my dream guy looks wise and personality wise and with my recent experience Online I think how on earth did I get him when I can't even get anyone else.

[Fishforbreakfast]

Hi,

 

Am relatively new to OLD and have to say it's a real scene. Much more comolicated than dating was 15-20 years ago.

 

Please don't be hard on yourself. OLD has made relationships disposable. You don't hit it off with someone right away, there are 1000 more options a click away. It's kinda taken the hard work out of dating. I've met a real mixed bag of guys online, and it's certainly true that the second one of them says something even midldly annoying, I'm like "in to the next one."

 

The important thing is that you just keep trying. It may take 10, 100, 1000 dates but I think you will eventually find someone worthy!

 

Oh and as last note, you are not defined by the man you date. Never stop investing in yourself and becoming a better person. Deriving a sense of confidence and knowing your self worth without a man at your side is one of the most important things you can do for yourself! Hang in there, girl!

 

Your right, I would go through 1000 rejections if I knew my dream guy was at the end. It just hurts alot and I can't help but take it personally.

[coolheadal]

Hi thanks for your response. i was hoping the two I lowered my standards with there personality and charm would make me be attracted to them by we just didn't click at all. Not akward but no attractions. I don't even want any of them as boyfriends I guess I just still feel rejected because they don't want to see me again and feel like if I was better they would like me. My ex was my dream guy looks wise and personality wise and with my recent experience Online I think how on earth did I get him when I can't even get anyone else.

 

 

Sounds like your not over you dream guy yet, then when you go on dates your not giving it your 100%. Guys can pickup on that weakness. Lowing your standards what are you looking for in guy my I ask you that question. What happen with your ex, could reflex on how your dating guys now. Every guy is not your ex your never have the same guy again. Your ex is the dream then why not try to get him back. If you have the on your mind while your dating these guys then not fear to them.

[starrynight4321]

Please read and listen to what I'm about to say! DO NOT lower your standards and DO NOT take rejection as some type of evidence that something is wrong with you! Easier said than done, but I mean it!

 

I am willing to bet a million bucks that you're not the problem. It's online dating that is the problem. Online dating, especially for men, has become a time waster. A game. A sport. A hobby. The likelihood of something meaningful resulting from OLD is about .00001% and I'm being generous. With online dating, people go on 1-2 dates. The SECOND the other person isn't absolutely perfect in every imaginable way, one person bails, because there are always 200 other people to swipe left/right on, 1000 other profiles to click through, etc. There is no benefit in investing. There is no reward for trying to build something. It's so much easier to swipe to the next one. Less pain, less cost, less attachment.

 

Moving on the second any semblance of an imperfection rises is easier to do with OLD because of the perception that the person has "so many options." Sadly, it's only a perception. So, you get tons of people on OLD who do nothing but go on endless series of 1-2 dates before moving on to the next. In 99.9% of online dating situations, the rejection is about the OTHER person and not you.

 

My best advice is to NEVER lower your standards, and to avoid online dating at much as possible. It will give you an incredibly warped picture of yourself and dating generally. It's not reality and it's a horribly inaccurate gage of every aspect of yourself.

[Fishforbreakfast]

Sounds like your not over you dream guy yet, then when you go on dates your not giving it your 100%. Guys can pickup on that weakness. Lowing your standards what are you looking for in guy my I ask you that question. What happen with your ex, could reflex on how your dating guys now. Every guy is not your ex your never have the same guy again. Your ex is the dream then why not try to get him back. If you have the on your mind while your dating these guys then not fear to them.

 

I have lowered my standards heaps and gone out on dates with guys I was not attracted to in the slightest, and turns out they weren't attracted to me either. I literally can't lower them anymore and I don't see the point I can't physically force myself to be with someone I personally don't find attractive in some way. In saying that everyone else could find them ugly i just have to be attracted in some way. I can't get him back because he got sick and had a mental breakdown and i couldn't help him how he needed to be helped. He's not so much on my mind wjen I date other guys. I just think later when I get rejected I wonder what he saw in me that no one else seems too...

[Fishforbreakfast]

Please read and listen to what I'm about to say! DO NOT lower your standards and DO NOT take rejection as some type of evidence that something is wrong with you! Easier said than done, but I mean it!

 

I am willing to bet a million bucks that you're not the problem. It's online dating that is the problem. Online dating, especially for men, has become a time waster. A game. A sport. A hobby. The likelihood of something meaningful resulting from OLD is about .00001% and I'm being generous. With online dating, people go on 1-2 dates. The SECOND the other person isn't absolutely perfect in every imaginable way, one person bails, because there are always 200 other people to swipe left/right on, 1000 other profiles to click through, etc. There is no benefit in investing. There is no reward for trying to build something. It's so much easier to swipe to the next one. Less pain, less cost, less attachment.

 

Moving on the second any semblance of an imperfection rises is easier to do with OLD because of the perception that the person has "so many options." Sadly, it's only a perception. So, you get tons of people on OLD who do nothing but go on endless series of 1-2 dates before moving on to the next. In 99.9% of online dating situations, the rejection is about the OTHER person and not you.

 

My best advice is to NEVER lower your standards, and to avoid online dating at much as possible. It will give you an incredibly warped picture of yourself and dating generally. It's not reality and it's a horribly inaccurate gage of every aspect of yourself.

 

Wow thanks for this! This is really what I needed to hear I think I will

Screen shot it so that I can keep re reading it. I don't enjoy the process at all but am doing it to try and put myself out there again. But you have made me feel like it's just not entirely me that's undesirable and maybe to do with the culture of online dating. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou !!

[Redhead14]

Right, there isn't anything wrong with you, you just aren't right for THEM. That's all. And, do you think guys you "reject" should take it so personally, especially after only a few dates? That's just part of the process. You go on a few dates to see if that person is a good match. If not, you both move on. It has to work for both parties at least on most levels. It is what it is.

 

Usually, when someone gets so hurt after only a couple of or a few dates, it's about the "vision"/hope they had that that person would finally be the One, not about losing that person specifically.

 

Dust yourself off and keep moving.

[CptInsano]

Hi thanks for your response. i was hoping the two I lowered my standards with there personality and charm would make me be attracted to them by we just didn't click at all. Not akward but no attractions. I don't even want any of them as boyfriends I guess I just still feel rejected because they don't want to see me again and feel like if I was better they would like me. My ex was my dream guy looks wise and personality wise and with my recent experience Online I think how on earth did I get him when I can't even get anyone else.

 

That is more or less the core of the problem. You probably weren't better, at least not in their eyes. They were looking for fit, and you probably weren't matching if you were distinctly different from them.

 

I once rejected a woman who has a successful modeling career. I'm also not sure she understood the reasons why, especially as I liked her as a friend. Just because you are more physically attractive doesn't mean that you automatically match people who are less so.

 

On the plus side, this also doesn't mean that something is wrong with you, other than that you are trying too hard too soon.

[Fishforbreakfast]

Right, there isn't anything wrong with you, you just aren't right for THEM. That's all. And, do you think guys you "reject" should take it so personally, especially after only a few dates? That's just part of the process. You go on a few dates to see if that person is a good match. If not, you both move on. It has to work for both parties at least on most levels. It is what it is.

 

Usually, when someone gets so hurt after only a couple of or a few dates, it's about the "vision"/hope they had that that person would finally be the One, not about losing that person specifically.

 

Dust yourself off and keep moving.

 

I'm not worried about losing the person at all, because I don't feel like there was anything there either, I think unfortunately it's my ego. I always think of someone doesn't like me it has to be because I'm ugly and if I wasn't they would like me... but I guess it's not all about looks and my last bf said I look better in real life then photos. I think if I knew for a fact it wasn't because of my looks I wouldn't feel so rejected

[Fishforbreakfast]

That is more or less the core of the problem. You probably weren't better, at least not in their eyes. They were looking for fit, and you probably weren't matching if you were distinctly different from them.

 

I once rejected a woman who has a successful modeling career. I'm also not sure she understood the reasons why, especially as I liked her as a friend. Just because you are more physically attractive doesn't mean that you automatically match people who are less so.

 

On the plus side, this also doesn't mean that something is wrong with you, other than that you are trying too hard too soon.

 

Thanks it's just so hard. I can't wait till i never have to do it again, I don't enjoy the process at all it's so exhausting... I wish I could view it as a bit of light hearted fun... I guess that's true about not automatically matching people who you think you have lowered your standards for (I hate using that term but I don't know how else to put it because I don't think I'm above anyone and I know every one is Unique I guess just not my usual type is better way to put it). That is kind of reassuring to hear you rejected the modelling women, I feel like if someone is good looking they will never get rejected but you have shown that is not always the case

[Maggie4]

There are 4 boys, and let's say the number of girls is also 4, you being one of them. If those 3 boys did not reject you, you would have alone monopolized all 4 boys. What would those other 3 poor girls do?

[Redhead14]

I'm not worried about losing the person at all, because I don't feel like there was anything there either, I think unfortunately it's my ego. I always think of someone doesn't like me it has to be because I'm ugly and if I wasn't they would like me... but I guess it's not all about looks and my last bf said I look better in real life then photos. I think if I knew for a fact it wasn't because of my looks I wouldn't feel so rejected

 

You have no idea whether or not it was your looks, therefore, why assume that it is about your looks? Since you're making assumption, why assume negatively?

 

And, even if it was your looks for some, it doesn't mean your ugly, it simply means your looks are not what THEY prefer . . . some guys prefer blonds, some guys prefer outgoing women, some guys prefer blue eyes, some guys prefer long legs, ad infinitum. You can't please everyone. The ones you do please are the ones for you.

 

I'm sure you've done some "rejection" in your time.

[Ieris]

You talk a lot about your ex and compare these guys to your ex... are you sure you are over him?

[CptInsano]

Thanks it's just so hard. I can't wait till i never have to do it again, I don't enjoy the process at all it's so exhausting... I wish I could view it as a bit of light hearted fun...

 

Yes, I don't mind the process all that much, but being rejected never feels right. However, I do find that it becomes much easier to find somebody if you can enjoy dating itself. (Easier said that done, I know.)

 

I guess that's true about not automatically matching people who you think you have lowered your standards for (I hate using that term but I don't know how else to put it because I don't think I'm above anyone and I know every one is Unique I guess just not my usual type is better way to put it). That is kind of reassuring to hear you rejected the modelling women, I feel like if someone is good looking they will never get rejected but you have shown that is not always the case

 

No, good-looking people also receive plenty of rejection, for a number of reasons, but it's definitely less. In this case I wish there would have been a match, but she had way to many issues to work on to attempt a relationship with anybody at that point, even though I think that overall is was a great woman.

 

What I'm trying to say is: Keep on going, and try to see a rejection after a date as two people who didn't match, not as a rejection of you as a person. Most if not all people will experience this.

[ChatroomHero]

When you are not attracted to someone, it shows. That's why there was no chemistry. If they could sense you were not truly interested, it can be a turn off on their end.

 

 

When you are not attracted to someone, you feel like maybe they should be begging to get more dates with this super attractive girl that is out of their league, so you take the rejection harder.

 

 

For all you know they feel they were out of their league, or their ex was more attractive than you, or else they felt no interest on your part and moved on because they are not desperate.

 

 

When you date someone you think you are lowering your standards for you feel like they should be honored that you spent anytime for them and tend to assume you should have them wrapped around your finger whether you want them to be or not. The problem with that is, only desperate guys do that...anything to be seen with that attractive girl...but not all guys are like that.

 

 

I have dated a few that I felt were out of my league initially, but after initial attraction, personality and behavior come into play and after a while the attractiveness faded. My guess is you say there was no chemistry you felt and I am sure they felt the same. They rejected you because they were not desperate and saw no potential.

[mortensorchid]

I suffer from the same thing as you do - I am quirky, a bit odd, whatever you want to call it. I think my greatest problem is that I underestimate people, according to a policeman friend. I don't know you, of course, but I don't think of myself as "nice" to others even though some would say "you're a nice girl". I realize I underestimate people. I try to give everyone a chance, I go into things hoping that this person will be alright. I also have a high level of patience and tolerance when others don't seem to have it. And believe me, people have tested me in a million ways. Some have been downright emotionally, verbally and even physically abusive towards me for it. And what do they (as in the guys I have dated or been with, not others outside of that realm) do after they treat me or you badly? They find some trashy ho who takes them to the cleaners and treats them just as bad.

 

Answer? There are no answers. All you can do is try and try again.

[maxi105]

ah,f.f.b. rejection is never that great, but the good news is that there is nothing wrong with you! others are right when they say its all about numbers and what suits etc- and dont forget: if you meet someone you dont want, then they will feel what you are feeling now so someone at some point is going to feel unwanted.

 

you've had 4 dates on there so there is hope and proof that people are interested in you . it just hasn't been the match you (or maybe the other person wanted).

 

some people never get anyone replying to them never mind an offer for a date so you already are in a luckier place than them.

 

I must stress here that no dates and no replies doesn't make them sad people either, maybe they are just not that expert in selling themselves in the way that the sites they are on or the people on there have come to expect, or maybe they are shy or want to keep things a bit more private for personal reasons.

.

online dating isn't for everyone and anyone not getting success must not be made to feel they have failed in life. we live in a technical age where people are losing more and more soft skills and then get into a panic when things don't happen instantly.

 

it's hard to comment on how you approached the dates, also there's no point in me saying totally that o.l.d. is no good, it obviously works for many out there and less so for others. when it doesn't, its the usual thing about time wasters, fake id's, people already with someone etc...

 

maybe it might be worth asking in the early messaging stage what they hope to find and want for a potential online date. if they move on at that stage then it saves you the whole meeting up and face to face rejection.

 

people put all kinds of stuff on profiles, others put hardly anything, maybe try to look at people that don't have a photo, or people who don't say much (or others who you wouldn't normally go for but sound decent, good people).

 

many couples in life dont lalways look compatible, but they are because they know each other properly have a realistic outlook for what they want for the relationship.

 

I'm sure if we're all honest it's just too easy to go for the good looker first or hobbies that match 100%,but there are so many interesting things about people, some you can't find out in 30mins browsing here and there.

 

o.l.d. has become so common and seen as the only thing to do nowadays that people have not only got endless choice (maybe too much choice) and the danger is that people start to get too unrealistic in their expectations, and it can end up with people feeling more insecure.

 

maybe you should take a break from it for a while and get out there and meet real people in real places and just have some fun. maybe even go out without your friends and see who you meet; i wonder if some people may just presume you are not single with your friends hanging around or feel you are not so approachable in a group. who knows?

 

new technology can't solve everything in life and people need to realise that instead of running to it 24-7. we all had lives and more social skills before it all and we are getting to a sorry stage if we let marketing dictate or persuade our every view because that can be dangerous for some people if they feel overwhelmed or not part of the social norms.... sometimes with tragic consequences!

 

but look, you have friends who think you are fun, quirky and a good person. so don't try to change that. if people want to play safe and want a stable or maybe less adventurous partner then that's fine, but you shouldn't want to fit in with meeting that sort of person otherwise you might be attracting and stuck with mr or ms boring and then you won't feel satisfied...and may reject another! see where this is going...

 

there are some really great replies to your question, so I'm sure you will be able to get lots from your question and move forward with a bit more hope.

 

good luck f.f.b. you'll be fine, and remember you will probably meet someone when you are least expecting to, and even better, if you meet them in the flesh it'll be more of a realistic measure if they like you and if you can get on well together talking.

 

so get off line and go and plan something where you can shine and attract real people. lol. see ya. maxi

[Fishforbreakfast]

You have no idea whether or not it was your looks, therefore, why assume that it is about your looks? Since you're making assumption, why assume negatively?

 

And, even if it was your looks for some, it doesn't mean your ugly, it simply means your looks are not what THEY prefer . . . some guys prefer blonds, some guys prefer outgoing women, some guys prefer blue eyes, some guys prefer long legs, ad infinitum. You can't please everyone. The ones you do please are the ones for you.

 

I'm sure you've done some "rejection" in your time.

 

Yes that's true, someone was telling me some people prefer apples and some prefer oranges but it doesn't mean either one is not good, just different taste. Hopefully I can please someone and vice versa one day, often worry lately that my exs were the only 2 guys on the planet that preferred onions to oranges lol. I have rejected people too I guess so it's only a cycle coming back around and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so they say!

[Fishforbreakfast]

You talk a lot about your ex and compare these guys to your ex... are you sure you are over him?

 

Yeh I'm over him, i just loved him alot and it ended abruptly but there is defiantly no going back. I guess when I met him I just knew instantly there was a connection (from my side at least) and hoping to find that again with someone hopefully if I'm lucky enough

[Fishforbreakfast]

When you are not attracted to someone, it shows. That's why there was no chemistry. If they could sense you were not truly interested, it can be a turn off on their end.

 

 

When you are not attracted to someone, you feel like maybe they should be begging to get more dates with this super attractive girl that is out of their league, so you take the rejection harder.

 

 

For all you know they feel they were out of their league, or their ex was more attractive than you, or else they felt no interest on your part and moved on because they are not desperate.

 

 

When you date someone you think you are lowering your standards for you feel like they should be honored that you spent anytime for them and tend to assume you should have them wrapped around your finger whether you want them to be or not. The problem with that is, only desperate guys do that...anything to be seen with that attractive girl...but not all guys are like that.

 

 

I have dated a few that I felt were out of my league initially, but after initial attraction, personality and behavior come into play and after a while the attractiveness faded. My guess is you say there was no chemistry you felt and I am sure they felt the same. They rejected you because they were not desperate and saw no potential.

 

Yeh you have put it into perspective very well. I felt no chemistry with any of them and I guess they felt the same. I don't think that I'm out of there league at all I just don't find them personally attractive or interesting so that's what I mean for going for someone below my usual type... sigh

[Fishforbreakfast]

ah,f.f.b. rejection is never that great, but the good news is that there is nothing wrong with you! others are right when they say its all about numbers and what suits etc- and dont forget: if you meet someone you dont want, then they will feel what you are feeling now so someone at some point is going to feel unwanted.

 

you've had 4 dates on there so there is hope and proof that people are interested in you . it just hasn't been the match you (or maybe the other person wanted).

 

some people never get anyone replying to them never mind an offer for a date so you already are in a luckier place than them.

 

I must stress here that no dates and no replies doesn't make them sad people either, maybe they are just not that expert in selling themselves in the way that the sites they are on or the people on there have come to expect, or maybe they are shy or want to keep things a bit more private for personal reasons.

.

online dating isn't for everyone and anyone not getting success must not be made to feel they have failed in life. we live in a technical age where people are losing more and more soft skills and then get into a panic when things don't happen instantly.

 

it's hard to comment on how you approached the dates, also there's no point in me saying totally that o.l.d. is no good, it obviously works for many out there and less so for others. when it doesn't, its the usual thing about time wasters, fake id's, people already with someone etc...

 

maybe it might be worth asking in the early messaging stage what they hope to find and want for a potential online date. if they move on at that stage then it saves you the whole meeting up and face to face rejection.

 

people put all kinds of stuff on profiles, others put hardly anything, maybe try to look at people that don't have a photo, or people who don't say much (or others who you wouldn't normally go for but sound decent, good people).

 

many couples in life dont lalways look compatible, but they are because they know each other properly have a realistic outlook for what they want for the relationship.

 

I'm sure if we're all honest it's just too easy to go for the good looker first or hobbies that match 100%,but there are so many interesting things about people, some you can't find out in 30mins browsing here and there.

 

o.l.d. has become so common and seen as the only thing to do nowadays that people have not only got endless choice (maybe too much choice) and the danger is that people start to get too unrealistic in their expectations, and it can end up with people feeling more insecure.

 

maybe you should take a break from it for a while and get out there and meet real people in real places and just have some fun. maybe even go out without your friends and see who you meet; i wonder if some people may just presume you are not single with your friends hanging around or feel you are not so approachable in a group. who knows?

 

new technology can't solve everything in life and people need to realise that instead of running to it 24-7. we all had lives and more social skills before it all and we are getting to a sorry stage if we let marketing dictate or persuade our every view because that can be dangerous for some people if they feel overwhelmed or not part of the social norms.... sometimes with tragic consequences!

 

but look, you have friends who think you are fun, quirky and a good person. so don't try to change that. if people want to play safe and want a stable or maybe less adventurous partner then that's fine, but you shouldn't want to fit in with meeting that sort of person otherwise you might be attracting and stuck with mr or ms boring and then you won't feel satisfied...and may reject another! see where this is going...

 

there are some really great replies to your question, so I'm sure you will be able to get lots from your question and move forward with a bit more hope.

 

good luck f.f.b. you'll be fine, and remember you will probably meet someone when you are least expecting to, and even better, if you meet them in the flesh it'll be more of a realistic measure if they like you and if you can get on well together talking.

 

so get off line and go and plan something where you can shine and attract real people. lol. see ya. maxi

 

You have made alot of good points here. I'm not a fan of online dating I just don get out much and pretty much all of my friends are coupled up now so leaves me with few options. I would way rather meet someone in real life naturally. Thanks for your positive advice about not changing who I am to fit in. My mum tells me to hang in there and the right guy will love and appreciate my weird ways like my past bfs have and vice versa. You are right I would hate to change and get stuck with mr boring in order to just have someone... they say good things take time so I'll just keep trying and also like your idea about asking what they are looking for before the actual meeting stage to save some unwanted rejection. Thanks so much for your lengthy reply

[Fishforbreakfast]

I suffer from the same thing as you do - I am quirky, a bit odd, whatever you want to call it. I think my greatest problem is that I underestimate people, according to a policeman friend. I don't know you, of course, but I don't think of myself as "nice" to others even though some would say "you're a nice girl". I realize I underestimate people. I try to give everyone a chance, I go into things hoping that this person will be alright. I also have a high level of patience and tolerance when others don't seem to have it. And believe me, people have tested me in a million ways. Some have been downright emotionally, verbally and even physically abusive towards me for it. And what do they (as in the guys I have dated or been with, not others outside of that realm) do after they treat me or you badly? They find some trashy ho who takes them to the cleaners and treats them just as bad.

 

Answer? There are no answers. All you can do is try and try again.

 

Yep I will keep trying and hopefully be a little bit wiser with all these helpful answers. I guess with your ex partners it is karma if they find someone who treats them just as bad!!