brendenarwey Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 (edited) Ive been with this girl almost a year and a half. Recently she dumped me as she's moving back home as she has finished university now. She lives hours away. We have a holiday booked in July which was non refundable so we have had to stay in touch to make that work. She came back for a week recently to to where my university is to pack the rest of her things. She stayed for almost a month and in that month we connected again and I was telling her how much I loved her constantly and she was telling me and were sleeping together again. Almost falling in love all over again. But she has still made it clear she does not want to get back into a relationship right now because she's not sure how it will work. We promised not to sleep with other people before the holiday (We both agreed to it) but the other day I went out and got really really drunk and ended up sleeping with someone else. This was a total one off and I never cheated throughout our relationship. But why do I feel so guilty. I am getting horrendous anxiety and it is all I can think about day and night. Should I be feeling this way? What if we end up getting back together after the holiday? Im really struggling to get through the day. This is the girl I want to marry she's my soulmate and I made such a mistake. The only thing I can think of is to let her go and me to just get myself out of everybody way Edited May 29, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Captivating Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 Brenden, It's normal to feel this way BUT she dumped you, so you did not cheat on her. She still says that she does not want a relationship.....you are more invested emotionally than she is. Don't beat yourself up about this at all. If i were you I would take steps towards moving on. I know it's hard, but she is not committed. Break ups are very hard, you will get there just be patient and kind to yourself. 1
Captivating Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 Also, you telling her that you love her constantly ..... might further push her away thinking that you are clingy, desperate. Stepping back from her might spark curiosity in the long run. What she is doing....breaking up with you, telling you that she loves you , having sex with you.....WHAT A TEASE ! She likes the attention and takes advantage of you in a way. This is wrong....why would she deliberately play with your emotions? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 Whose idea was it not to sleep with anyone else before this holiday? I think taking this vacation together is a very unwise idea anyway, and one of you should have forfeited your spot so the other could bring a friend or some such thing. At the end of the day, she already dumped you. There is every chance that she will disappear after the holiday anyway. She has been telling you she doesn't want a relationship with you so I wouldn't hold out hope that going on this holiday will somehow change that. You are single. You can sleep with whomever you like. It's not her business, and it's not your business if she has sex with another guy either. This is why you two are setting yourselves up for a very messy situation by making promises like this.
joseb Posted May 29, 2017 Posted May 29, 2017 Not sure why you are feeling guilty op. She dumped you, it's over. The no sleep talk was probably mostly words anyway. You need to pull back and forget about her, and if you do go on the holiday stop all the "I love you" stuff. She dumped you. If you want to have sex and can do it without getting emotional than enjoy that. Personally if I really liked a girl and she dumped me I'd let the holiday go in this situation, and move on. It's just money.
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