I'm thinking of breaking up. (Open relationship)

[acrazylife]

It's getting really close.

 

My partner wanted an open relationship because of a sexual incompatibility we have. Since part of that incompatibility is on my end, I was ok with it. But only for sex.

 

As it turns out, my partner is away for the weekend with someone that is supposed to just be a hookup.

 

The person lives several hours away and my partner can't see them often, also, there is a domination thing sexually that takes a lot of time.

 

I was ok with all of this and doing my own thing sexually too, BUT...

 

Today my partner texted me at 9am (well before my partner is up and going usually) to tell say hi and that they hoped I had a good night's sleep. I responded, asked a question and here we are over 9 hours later with no response. I literally asked what my partner was doing today without any mention of the other person or anything negative. I supported the open relationship. Until now.

 

Apparently, someone else who my partner is spending the entire weekend with comes before me today. I can't ask a simple question in a return text and get it answered because my partner is too busy with this other person to text back.

 

To me, that's the end. If I don't have good sex (both people's fault) and need an open relationship, that's fine. But, the day another person comes in as a higher priority than I do, I think it's time to go.

 

What do other people think? Am I being too sensitive?

[Grumpybutfun]

It doesn't matter what we think. It matters what you think and what you discussed as parameters with the open relationship. If you discussed availability when on dates with others and the rule was that there would be limited to no communication, then he is doing nothing wrong. However, if you agreed on regular communication then this is not ok. If you didn't discuss this at all, then it is time to do so.

 

Bottom line is that open relationships require a great deal of rules and boundaries in order to work. If you have not done this, it might be time to have a frank discussion about what is acceptable or unacceptable with compromise.

Best,

G

[acrazylife]

That's a very even keeled response. I guess this is the best advice.

 

I really thought it would go without​ saying that your emotional bond to your partner is paramount when engaging in physical activities outside the relationship.

 

Frankly, it worries to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way, rules or no rules about that part.

[Grumpybutfun]

Are you also enjoying a full on sex life with men? Are you both interacting together with other couples or other intimate partners?

G

[acrazylife]

Are you also enjoying a full on sex life with men? Are you both interacting together with other couples or other intimate partners?

G

 

Yes. We are both getting what we want. We are getting are incompatible fetishes. We have never done anything together. We don't have the same interests.

[acrazylife]

14 hours later after almost calling the cops for her safety, I got a text.

 

They went to central park with a bottle of wine, etc.

 

My partner broke the rules (no dating, sex only).

 

I'm moving out for an undetermined amount of time.

[Superchicken]

Its a good idea to move out.

You need to fix yourself first, and then look at finding some one else.

Until you do, you will always be sharing your partner, because you would feel you cant provide what they will need.

 

 

Every person can be what ever they want to be.

Look at Trump, who in their right mind would have thought he would be where he is.

He obviously did, and dint care that EVERYONE was against him.

He fought, made the right decisions, and choices, moved forward with his plans, and now, behold. The Idiots in office.

 

 

You were smart enough to move out, now move on..

 

 

Good luck.

 

 

Ted.

[Els]

To be perfectly honest, I have seen very, very few open relationships that worked out. And those worked because both people involved needed multiple partners in order to be happy. If it's just a base incompatibility as in your case, I would question why not just break up and seek someone more compatible.