I am getting back together with my girlfriend. Can I forgive myself?

[brendenarwey]

When I first got with my girlfriend a few years ago I was young and had no experience with girls before. I went through puberty very late and only blossomed into a decent looking guy just before I got to uni which meant at the age of 18 I was completely inexperienced with women. I met my girlfriend at university and I had no clue how to manage it. I made mistakes like kissing another girl. Now we are getting back together after a break and I'm much older now and the guilt ate me up so much last time I know I'm not a cheat and know I will never do it again. Now we are starting out 2.0 of the relationship can I keep this to myself and not feel guilty?

[BetrayedH]

If you confess, you might just deserve forgiveness.

 

If you lie straight to her face, you don't.

[Superchicken]

Mate,

Print out what you just said. Add nothing, and give it to her.

 

 

If she loves you, then she will forgive you.

If she doesn't, she's still to young for a relationship.

She not a bad person for it, but just too young, as you are.

Dude, odds are in a year or two, you yourself will most likely be with some one else as well.

So don't mope about it too long.

Like you said, your good looking, and a Uni student.

Take the time to get an education, and then look at partying a little before you settle down in a meaningful relationship.

 

 

Ted.

[elaine567]

If she loves you, then she will forgive you.

If she doesn't, she's still to young for a relationship.

 

I don't think forgiveness is associated with how much she loves you, more to do with her individual perception of cheating and how much she decides to put up with. She may love the bones of you but if her tolerance for cheating is nil, then she will necessarily break up with you.

 

And whether a women will put up with cheating has nothing to do with immaturity.

I guess the truly mature response in dealing with a cheating bf is to run far away. The forum is full of women who say "He cheated on me before we got engaged/married and now he is doing it again"

[Gr8fuln2020]

Hey, you need to take advantage of this restart. She seems to be over the indiscretion (kissing another girl), so prove to her that she's worth it and you're a new man. Don't use your age as an excuse. I many friends during HS, college and MOST of them didn't cheat or weren't making mistakes b/c of age or lack of experience. They were simply pretty solid human beings doing the best they could. Also, as elain567 says, the degree of love she has less to do with her rational acceptance of betrayal. You ought to know that how people emotionally feel is OFTEN incongruent with their actions...she may love you, but hopefully she's no fool either.

[Superchicken]

I don't think forgiveness is associated with how much she loves you, more to do with her individual perception of cheating and how much she decides to put up with. She may love the bones of you but if her tolerance for cheating is nil, then she will necessarily break up with you.

 

And whether a women will put up with cheating has nothing to do with immaturity.

I guess the truly mature response in dealing with a cheating bf is to run far away. The forum is full of women who say "He cheated on me before we got engaged/married and now he is doing it again"

 

Hi Elaine,

If you read his post, he said it was just a kiss.

Please tell me you wouldn't leave your love for a kiss.

Kick his ass, yeah, poor a drink over his head, yeah, do a lot of things, but come on, these two are kids at 18. There about as intelligent as first year school kids when it comes to commitment.

 

 

I understand once your much older, and know what commitment is, and then kiss someone else... Then let it rip !.

 

 

But 18 is still kids.. They really are..

 

 

Ted.