poindimie Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Hey everyone! I've been seeing someone for a while now (2 months) and really like him. The thing is though, I can't understand him. Like, he speaks good English and all :-p, but I don't know if he is playing games with me. I'll try to put it into two categories for easy comprehension; Facts that make me think he wants to be "just friends"; -I haven't seen him in THREE weeks -He goes 4 or 5 days without calling, if at all -He doesnt reply to some messages -I have invited him out 3 times since I saw him last, none of them he was able to come to, I know that one time had a valid excuse -He hasn't called me in AGES (3 weeks...I call him about every 3 days) -He forgets about me, like forgets to call etc. (he's said so himself) -I jokingly said to him on the phone after he said he forgot to call back the previous day "oh I thought I had been dumped!" to which there was a reply of "no", then an awkard silence (things unsaid?) -A couple of times I have called him after about 3 days, and he has made excuses to go after a few mins of conversation. -When we first slept in the same bed, there was no sex (he has reasons unrelated to me, as in moral issues etc). Was very affectionate, but later noticed he was pretty much sleeping on the edge of the bed, like I had cornered him. (haha - my prey!!) Facts that make me think he still likes me; -Last time I called him, he was eager to talk for ages -He lives far away (1 hour) so its sometimes hard to see him as I dont have a car -He is busy with his work (I know thats no excuse for not calling!) -He is like this to everyone (recently went a week with no credit on his mobile) -I've assumed he's not interested 3 times before (ie. him not replying to messages, not calling etc. and have been surprised to find each time that he is, in fact, interested) -Last time I saw him he kissed me and told me to "call him every 5 mins" -He is a big time commitment phobe (but very trustworthy in regards to fidelity), so maybe he's like that with everyone he dates. -I've met family -I've straight up asked him if he likes me, to which he replied he was and surprised that I thought he wasnt. (so maybe not calling etc. is not his way of letting someone know that they should "just be freinds") Whats the go? 3 weeks?!!? I am going INSANE! When you like someone, you want to see them! Or talk to them! Is that normal to expect that? I have recently put myself out there a bit (being very affectionate, calling, saying slightly relationshipy things) so Im thinking he's got that instinctive dating thing where you don't want to be with someone who wants you too much. So last time I called him I mentioned that I went out the night before, got very drunk and had heaps of fun at this party ("What made it fun?" - him, in a slightly suspicious voice hehe) and that I was going out clubbing on Sunday night. Just to stir it up a bit. It still hasn't worked - 4 days, no phone call. We've only been going out for a few months, but its like he has gone well past that "I want to impress you" stage What do YOU think?! Im going insane, please help me!
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 He is either not interested in you and doesn't want to tell you or he is seeing somone else. One this for sure is that he has had too many chances to show you.. No he is not shy.. 3 weeks for a call.. Girl read the signs and find someone else.. This guy is gonna break your heart
erika2610 Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall He is either not interested in you and doesn't want to tell you or he is seeing somone else. One this for sure is that he has had too many chances to show you.. No he is not shy.. 3 weeks for a call.. Girl read the signs and find someone else.. This guy is gonna break your heart He's right hun.. thus guy's not worth it. I would just move on and find somebody else.
Author poindimie Posted August 3, 2005 Author Posted August 3, 2005 I just spoke to him, and asked him if he would tell me if he wanted to just be freinds, to which he reiterated that he definatelty would tell me and the he has just been busy recently. Its cool, sometimes I think some guys are different than others. We get along really well, and I don't think I am going to leave him, just accept his quirks I guess....
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by poindimie to which he reiterated that he definatelty would tell me and the he has just been busy recently. I know that when I'm interested in a girl it doesn't matter how busy I am, I will make a lot of time for her.. I think that I can speak for other guys here and say that it is true for almost all of us. He really isn't interested.. But you will see in time.. maybe the next time he calls you... in 3 weeks
alphamale Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by poindimie What do YOU think?! Im going insane, please help me! I think this dude is doing all the right things to create attraction in you...and it seems to be working.
J dub Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 The only way to know if he likes you is to stop calling him altogether. If he wants to get a hold of you, he obviously knows how. If he doesnt call you, then you know. But it sounds to me like he runs too hot and cold. When men like a woman, theyre not all wishy-washy about it.. They want to take up all their free time so no other men can scoop her up, and they want to be sweet to her and show her he cares. Not the opposite. Stop chasing him, youre making it too easy for him and the whole relationship (if it ever progresses) will be you doing all the work and him sitting back and letting you fuss over him.
Marshbear32 Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I think this dude is doing all the right things to create attraction in you...and it seems to be working. Amen Alpha. He is getting you to chase him.
elijahBailey Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by poindimie -He hasn't called me in AGES (3 weeks...I call him about every 3 days) 3 weeks?!!? I am going INSANE! When you like someone, you want to see them! Or talk to them! Is that normal to expect that? you just answered your question To him, he's in no hurry to call, cos you would call him anyways... [every 3days]. You're always the one who blinks first. Why don't you NOT call him for a week ......... no wait, don't do that, you'll go insane first I'm sorry he's got you by the tail. If he's a player, he's a pretty good one. but I think there's really another angle to this, and it's that he might not be totally into you. All guys have feelings..... that includes the players and the pushovers. And it's hard to disguise feelings. Use your woman's instinct to sniff him out. As much as possible, don't act needy or clingy. It takes some practice, but you gotta look like you can get on fine without him, even if you're disintegrating inside This really creates attraction. I know.... stupid head games. But the fact is that clingy girls (and guys) are a turn-off.
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