jessx Posted May 28, 2017 Posted May 28, 2017 so my first boyfriend and i were together for a little over 3 months. everything was nice, i was happy and it seemed like he was too. I had no friends, hobbies or interests besides him. My happiness relied on him. He was my first kiss, and I've never been close to someone like that before. He was my best friend and he'd stare into my eyes and make me feel so special. we argued frequently however. but it was always through text so things would get escalated and blown out of proportion until one of us broke up with each other. hours after, wed always end up back together. I became sick with mono and was unable to see him for 2 weeks, within those two weeks, he didn't really seem concerned with my health and i felt like he didn't even care. i was depressed and i needed him the most so we had another argument where i confronted him about it. however that was when he decided to break up with me for good. I thought he'd come back in a few hours like he always did but he didn't. the next few days he told me he was confused and didn't know if he wanted a relationship anymore. Then he said we fought too much which i honestly think is just being used as an excuse because just days before breaking up with me, he sent me a huge message telling me how much he loves me and how no fight will break us and how the thought of losing me scares him. He always reassured me and told me he'd never leave me, and even if i brought up the subject he wouldn't want to talk about it. Anyways, he told me he didn't know if he wanted us again. A day later, he insisted on picking me up and having me over where he was ALL over me. this happened over and over again. for a month straight, he'd be on and off, telling me he's confused. one minute he'd say he wants to move on and then the next minute he's calling me telling me he loves me and wants me. he asked me out again twice and he even cried one time when i was over his house and told me he was hurting without me. Both times i said yes, and he changed his mind hours later telling me that he doesn't think he's in the right spot for a relationship right now since he wasn't doing well in school and was stressed out. One day i told him who i used to like before him, and he ended up telling me that he likes someone now. I was so hurt. He told me she doesn't like him and that I shouldn't think about it. Love makes people stupid I guess so i didn't think much of it and i found myself over his house again. It was the day before i was going away for a week and he insisted on seeing me before i left. He looked into my eyes, he told me he loves me, he said he wants to fix us. He said "maybe i need to see you more" because when I'm physically with him or verbally talking to him on the phone, thats when he wants me. We made plans to see each other more when i got back from being away. And he insisted that i kept in contact with him while I'm gone because he said he'll miss me. 2 days later, we got into an argument because he was ignoring me and i knew he changed his mind again. i was furious over the whole situation. he blocked me and unblocked me hours later but i cut all contact for the rest of the week and neither of us attempted contact. I thought he missed me and I was hoping he did. Then i found out who he likes from one of his friends and apparently they've been texting nonstop. I got home after that week and i was hoping he'd contact me but he didn't. I decided to write him a letter to get things off my chest and express my feelings in a more meaningful way. I had my friend give it to him for me But he refused to read it. Then he said he doesn't love me anymore. The next morning i woke up and found out my moms dog and my uncle had passed away. I totally lost it, took a xanax for my anxiety,and started texting him telling him how depressed i felt and how i didn't know what to do anymore. He told me he still cares about me and he seemed concerned with how i was acting. when i calmed down, we texted all day. we made jokes and had nice conversations. he called me that night through FaceTime and he told me TWICE that he loves me and he called me baby. The next morning I told one of his close friends about what he said to me that night and word got around to the girl he's talking to. they both confronted him about it and he lied to both of them and claimed he never said he loves me that night and that I'm "fake" and i was "high off xanax". They believed him of course because I'm now the ex and everyone knows I'm head over heels. He even started texting me saying that I'm harassing him because i can't accept the fact that he moved on and likes someone else. I became so depressed, but i still couldn't let go. The next morning at 3 a.m i woke up and i couldn't stop crying. i called him and he surprisingly answered. He told me he didn't choose anyone over me, he said he still cares about me, and he begged me to promise that i wouldn't hurt myself but i couldn't. he started crying on the phone with me for about 2 hours and said it hurts him to hear me talk like that. i said "you lost feelings for me" he said "you don't know that." which is implying that he hasn't. but at around 5 a.m he hung up on me and was angry at me because i wouldn't promise him. he said "you're only hurting me now". Then he blocked me! the next day i had a major breakdown again and i started messaging him on social media and he told me that he can't talk to me anymore because its ruining his relationship. Then he blocked me on social media. I ended up going cold turkey on everyone because i was away getting help for my depression. when i got home, it turns out even my friends asked him what happened to me and he said he doesn't know because he blocked me. he didn't even try to contact me to see if i was okay and we haven't talked since then. its been about 3 weeks since we last contacted each other and i recently found out that he's now going out with her. I am so hurt by all of this and i am in disbelief that he could turn so cold on me like this when i didn't even do anything wrong. I was thinking maybe he's using her as a rebound but they've been together for a little over 2 weeks now and I'm afraid that he's actually moving on from me if he hasn't already. it was less than a month ago when i was over his house and he told me he wanted to fix us. now he has me blocked on everything and is going out with someone else... i don't understand how he can change so quickly. he has an odd way of expressing his emotions and his feelings and he's obviously very immature and unpredictable. I want him to come back so badly and i don't know if I'm delusional and naive but part of me feels like hell come back one day when things don't work out with her. she's so different than him and me. she's too good for him and she's too nice. he's honestly not very friendly and kind like she is.Everyone agrees with me when i say they won't last long because i honestly don't believe it will. I don't know if he will come back and realize that he left someone who loves him unconditionally even though he's been rude to me and broke my heart. I'm just so stuck on him and I'm doing okay without him and i know I'm slowly becoming happy again but i miss him and i truly want him back.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 28, 2017 Posted May 28, 2017 Dear me. I am guessing you are both quite young - is that correct? He's right about one thing: it's not normal or healthy to fight so frequently, and to be breaking up all the time. You were together just 3 months and already on-and-off. That is a sign you two don't work together. That's not a relationship that would last. He sounds immature, so I wouldn't take any declaration of love from him seriously. The same goes for pet names and the silly blocking-unblocking. it's childish. Your mistake is not having any life other than him. Why don't you have friends or hobbies? No guy wants to be responsible for your happiness; it's not attractive when a girl revolves her entire world around some boyfriend. Trust me. Guys like girls who are their own people, and who are healthy and emotionally strong enough not to lose control when when a relationship isn't working and to be calm when they aren't getting their boyfriend's attention all the time. Forget about him. Focus on rebuilding you own life so you can be happy on your own, and in the future attract higher-quality guys. The only type you'll get right now are the ones who will take full advantage of your vulnerability.
Recommended Posts