eni Posted May 28, 2017 Posted May 28, 2017 I'm in a long term relationship but this isn't about that at all... I just want to figure out what this is.... For the last 4 months, I have been constantly thinking about another man. and I mean hes on my mind 24/7 whatever i do. It came out of nowhere and hard... and I have not seen him in 7 years! I haven't thought about him before in all that time either. We dated casually for about a year however, this man did not want a serious relationship with me so things ended and I moved away. I REALLY liked this man, and if he liked me the same, I do think I would have ended up marrying him. What is crazier is I think now he may be thinking about me as well. We BOTH have been checking on eachothers snapchats constantly in those 4 months. I will post a photo and within minutes he will already see it. He also liked a very old photo of me (which im guessing is by accident), but which means he has been checking my photos...of course i've been checking his too. A month ago he sent me a "hi" message (after 7 years of not speaking) but all i answered was "hi" back and it stopped there. In 2 weeks I will be visiting the town he lives in. The likelyhood of seeing each other is so slim, but i still have hope and I do want to see him to see how I feel... Anyone else experience anything similar? Would something like this mean anything? I want to shake off this feeling if it means nothing, however, I then start to wonder what if something is pulling us back together ? It feels that way...
preraph Posted May 28, 2017 Posted May 28, 2017 I can't in good conscience tell you to cheat on your man. But I get what you're saying. I went through something where one day I thought about an old flame all day involuntarily. Turns out he was shot around that time but lived through it. He said his life's memories flashed until he passed out. I hadn't seen him in 25 years. We met up for a weekend once I contacted him. It was lovely, but he broke whatever we had off when 911 happened. Think it just changed him and made our little thing unimportant to him. Anyway, I can't say it's going to go well if you do meet, or last since it didn't last before. Maybe he thinks he is a different person now, one who would commit. But there's no guarantee of that. It could be he's getting older and it's getting harder for him to attract women or something that shallow and so he's wondering if he can reinterest women of the past. If you like what you have now, I wouldn't jeopardize it because this guy has turned up on social media, but if you think this relationship is waning, then I would just wait until it has run its course before you reach out.
Author eni Posted May 28, 2017 Author Posted May 28, 2017 Thanks for your reply. We are getting older and I am more settled than him (I live with my man, although we choose not to marry). However, he is very handsome and would have pretty much any girl he wants.. I don't think its him getting desperate but I do think we had a very strong connection but were too young to realize that... I also always thought he was a guy that sleeps with any woman, but it turns out he is the opposite of that. He is a very good guy. And looking back now, when i think about all the things he used to tell me (things he noticed about me that most people wouldn't notice, things he liked about me), he actually did like me but i didn't realize it, and most of the time I was very cold and proud around him. In short, the timing was wrong and we were too young and immature to be together. I am no where close to leaving my man, but I do think if we were both single at this time, it would be different this time.. 1
Lobouspo Posted May 28, 2017 Posted May 28, 2017 Ahhh....the pitfalls of social media. You are living in a fantasy land of what could have been, and it sounds like at some level there are some major issues in your relationship, because it's not normal to become so fixated on someone that hasn't even been part of your life for a significant time. If there's no chance of you leaving your man, do both yourselves a favor, quit checking up on this person, because this fixation will start manifesting itself in your relations with your SO negatively. If not really look at your relationship and ask yourself what might be wrong with it, ask why you have become so obsessed with a person so far removed from your life.
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