missingmybaby Posted May 27, 2017 Posted May 27, 2017 Hi all, I hope you can help with some advice on what to do in this tricky situation... The background to this issue is that me and my ex partner split approx 2 years ago, we have three children who I provide for and see regularly on a weekly basis. Me and my ex have remained close friends throughout the period and managed to get on well even to the point of having days out with the kids and spending regular time together as friends. We have slept together after the break up numerous times. I instigated the split and I do have a feeling she was/is still very much in love with me. Around the beginning of this year we decided to see if we could give things another go. We opted to go too counselling and try to act like we were a couple without giving the title of being together. During the process and after 2/3 months I decided that I didn't feel the same as she did and stated we should go back to being parents and friends. She didn't take the news too well and things went a bit cold between us and we didn't talk as much which i understand as she was hurting and I take responsibility for that. Shortly after I met my now current partner. I didn't plan on meeting her, i wasn't on any dating sites etc, it was a chance meeting and we hit it off and it proceeded very naturally. We dated and courted for some time and it was all going very well. One weekend my ex called me and asked me where i was very quizzically. It wasn't my scheduled day to have the children and I wasn't working so had taken the opportunity to spend some time with my new girl (not girlfriend at this stage). I admitted to my ex that I was with this new girl at that time. She demanded that I come to see her to discuss the matter. We talked about it and she was hurt that i had not mentioned anything to her about my new girl but i explained that it wasn't serious at this stage so i didn't necessarily feel the need too but had it become more serious. My ex decided that because of my actions i would have my access cut to the children. Several weeks on from this my ex sat me down to warn me about my new partner. I was confused as too what she meant but apparently she had received several calls from her telling my ex that she is going to take me away from the children, use me for my money (which i don't have) and several other malicious threats. I confronted my new girl on this and she denied all doing. My ex then called me on Monday to state that she had had another call from my new girls work, telling my ex i had been in an accident and needed to go to the hospital (sick if true). I asked my ex to prove via screen shot that this had occurred and she sent me one just of her call list, not the actual call and length etc. The call came from a landline apparently but it showed it as being called from a mobile even though the number was a landline number....confused! I thought enough is enough i need to get too the bottom of this now. so i said that if she had spoken to my new girl on the phone she would be able to recognize her voice. I played her several voice notes of her and she confirmed 100% that it was her she spoke too!!!! Still not convinced, I then called my new girl and we had a three way conversation (very awkward) about the situation and unfortunately still no further to finding out the truth. Neither my ex or new girl has actual proof or evidence too disprove the stories being told . I told my ex i believe my new girl because i genuinely don't think this is something she would do. Two days later I was visiting my children and my ex confronted me again about who I believe. She then told me she had facebook messages from my new girl and proceeded to show me. The messages do very much look like its from my new girls account, the messages seem to flow but my ex only showed me screen shots of the messages not the actual ones on messenger. The messages are from an account with her name on it but it does have an old profile picture on it?? My girl has given me access to her facebook to show her the messages she has from my ex because my ex decided to message her. But obviously the ones from my new girl to my ex are missing but i know why. From my ex's perspective to her it seems like this new girl has come along, stolen me and wants too take me away from her and the kids. But this isn't the case. My new girl has protested her innocence throughout, she has provided me with her facebook logins and deleted her app etc to prove that any further messages my ex might state will not have come from her. She knows my colleagues and other people in the company I work for having met them so if it was her and it came out her reputation wouldn't be very good. She has treated me so well and while i know its still honeymoon period etc she has been literally perfect. I'm stuck in the middle, do I believe the girl I love who i want too be with but cannot 100% prove it isn't her? Or my ex who i've known for over 10 years who never did me wrong and has "some" sort of evidence to state it is my new girl? Or is it a third party playing games and trying to start trouble? The other issue I have is that my ex has obviously taken an instant dislike too this girl and has stated too me unless i end things with her i can only see my kids one day a week, if i do end things i can see them two days?? Please help! If you want too know any other facts or details let me know!
Sara1989 Posted May 27, 2017 Posted May 27, 2017 Oh what a mess but you really brought this on yourself, you played with your ex heart for going on 2 years. She could have used that time to heal instead you kept her as a back up, used her for sex while still enjoying the single life. I have no ideal who is telling the truth, you do not know this new woman well enough and your ex...well she could be acting out of spite and jealously but who knows? I really do think its awful though how you led your ex on for 2 years and played with her feelings, knowing deep down you would never want to be in an relationship with her again.
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