How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?

[Jutty]

It all started on friday when my friend sent me a text message asking if i was working sunday and when i said i wasn't she asked me if i wanted to do anything and that i could choose. she said to let her know asap. I texted her back saturday that we could go to the mall and to the beach and that i could come and get her a 1 pm on sunday. She told me to call her that night on my way home from work. I did but i all i got was her voice mail, and asked her to call me back. she never did. I wondered what she wanted me to call her for. I tried calling her again after i got home from church on sunday and got her voice mail. I really needed to talk to her so i could figure out what i was going to do that day. she said in a text back to me that she was doing a project with her bf. I texted her back asking if she want me to come down. but she didn't respond. she did text me then and asked me where i was. so i told her. i kept trying to find out if she wanted me to come down. i tried calling her but only got her voice mail. so i decided to head down but then her bf called me back and told me to stop calling and that she wasn't feeling well because of it, and not to come down to her bf's. about 10 minutes later she send me a text saying that i can go to her mom's house about 6 i wanted to, so i said i would. during the next few hours she texts me twice asking where i was, so i tell her where i am. about 6 i go over to her house and have dinner. then i left two hours later. the next day i get a couple of text from her bf saying that she was upset becuase he said that i was told not to come, and the reason she was sick was because of me. a few hours later he send me another two messages and he was angry because of what i caused to happen. just before he sent me the 2nd two messages she send me a text saying to use this number to call her. I am really confused on what the whole situation is. i see she was online today so i start chatting with her, she said that she wasn't upset but scared, and that she and her bf feeling that i'm stocking her. I feel horrible. She is like the only close friend i have. The only person that ever get to spend anytime with, the only person besides my family that ever calls me. I hate life and wonder sometimes if there is any reason to keep living it.

 

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[Craig]

From what you wrote on LS it looks like her bf is manipulating her and trying to keep you away from her for some reason.

 

Don't contact her but let her contact you and when it looks like she is able to talk on IM's or the phone without her bf beside her ask her directly if she wants you to stop contacting her AND explain or show the text messages from her bf to her. Whatever you do don't delete the text messages you get from her or her bf until this is all resolved.

[Jutty]

Can anyone else give me more advice on this matter?

 

I went away on Wednesday to soul fest and got back sunday evening. on saturday while i was there she texted me and asked me how i was but i didn't respond. Then yesterday morning she IMed me and we talked for a little while but never talked about what happened. We talked mostly about cheering since i recently joined a cheering team. then after we chatted online she texted me again saying i could come visit her if i wanted but i never replied and i never went. I'm not sure i want to see her yet. It bothers me that her and her bf thought i was stocking her, and i didn't want to go and visit just so she could again accuse me of stocking her.

 

A little background info on our friendship: It will be 2 years on August 29th that i met her at work. this happened we she ended up sitting next to me and we started talking since call volume was slow. (I work in a call center) there we a few times in the first few weeks of our friendship that she would come and sit at my table in the break room while i was on lunch. In mid-october when she came to work she would always come and sit with me, and then we would normally go on break and lunches today. She was at the end of a bad relationship at that time and she broke up with her then bf at thanksgiving. the following weekend she met another guy at work who she started seeing. he left for the army in march and they then broke up. she also quit the job were we worked together. we didn't talk much until the spring and she invited me to a candle party at her house in late may. She was now dating the brother of her ex that was in the army. In mid July 04, we spent a day together by going to lunch and to the mall. by the end of summer she would call me about once a week to see how i was. i didn't see her again until i met her and her bf at the mall the day after the sox won the world series, and we went to lunch together. over the winter and spring i would go and see her for short visits at her house but we didn't do much together. she broke up with her ex's brother in april, and after they broke up she started seeing the guy's she's with now. she had actually met him at a party a couple months before we met. Since the summer solstice, we've been seeing each other about almost everyweek.

[sburtug03]

Oh sweetie, what a nightmare you are in! To begin with your mate has let you down. She planned with you to see each other and then her boyfriend is available so she is not. This is not fair and you must make her see this otherwise she will keep treating you badly, and the more you accept her behaviour the worse it will get. Explain to her that she needs to sort herself out. You are nothing to do with their relationship and so must not get involved. If your friend makes arrangements with you she must keep to them and this is nothing to do with her boyfriend.

If your friend decides that you are wrong for saying this and does not agree with you, you HAVE TO FIND NEW FRIENDS. Please don't stay friends with someone simply because you have no one else, you will be constantly unhappy. Join a local club or fitness centre, begin a new hobby, there will be plently more people out there for you to appreciated and treated with respect by. Tell me what happens, Luv Samantha x

[Jutty]

Well, after 5 weeks of getting into this mess, things seems better. By the weekend after everything happened she text me to ask me how i was but i didn't respond. She has really been wanting to see me too. we haven't seen each other but today she was begging me to go to the mall with her.