Noenoe Posted May 25, 2017 Posted May 25, 2017 I wanted to get some opinions on this matter not sure if anyone has experienced this, my gf is a free spirit, loves to travel, works in Japan every summer for a kids camp, just about goes somewhere every year. Lately I have been having low finances as I just graduated and am looking for a job so I went with her to Switzerland recently but probably can't afford another trip. So she was planning on going to Thailand before her Japan trip and since I can't go, she is going with one of her graduate student peers that she just met this year. I don't know him personally but they hang out in group settings like every other week probably and she says he is cool and is not a creep. I probably can't go and can't really wrap mind around her being in another country with someone else besides me you know? I trust her completely but its just weird! The trip would be for 5 days if that makes a difference.
smackie9 Posted May 25, 2017 Posted May 25, 2017 She has a different interpretation of what is acceptable in a committed relationship. Tell her you don't find this appropriate and wish she would travel with a female friend now that you two are in a relationship. Maybe put forward, how would she feel if you went traveling for a week with another woman she has never met. I doubt she would appreciate it. I'm assuming she never asked you, she just went ahead made plans and told you right? This would be a perfect time to talk about boundaries....if you don't she will think it's ok with you. SPEAK UP. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 25, 2017 Posted May 25, 2017 How is it unfair? You can't afford it shouldn't mean she can't go. It's a bit of a yellow flag that she's going with another guy but your finances don't dictate her travel schedule.
mightycpa Posted May 25, 2017 Posted May 25, 2017 You say you completely trust her, but ..... here you are. What she's planning is not unheard of, and this isn't like going to the beach for a weekend. Not everybody has the time and the money and the desire. She's a free spirit, like free love? Or like this is within her normal behavior? Are you jealous, or do you just feel wary? Do you trust her to tell you the truth if it does become something? I don't think you can demand that she doesn't do this. All you can do is express your discomfort, and you have to do so in such a way that is comes across as mate-guarding, rather than distrust. That's a delicate balance. I'll tell you this much. When she goes abroad, don't initiate contact more than once or twice that week. Let her check in with you.
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