newdaynewstart Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 I am confused and don't know what to think of all of this. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago Monday. It was a LDR that lasted four months or so. It was a pretty mutual break-up. I by no means wanted to end but did not feel like he was putting in the effort that he needed to so that is why I did not think it would go anywhere. His reasons were that the long distance was too hard, he felt like he started backing off when he started getting close to me because of our circumstances and that there was no way of us having a normal relationship anytime soon being that we were both in different cities three hours apart. So that was last Monday. We have not talked on the phone since then. Neither of us called each other all weekend, etc. I have not emailed him since the break up but he continues to email me daily asking about my day, life, what I have going on. I respond because in our situation we really have no hard feelings...it basically just did not work because of bad timing. I just do not understand why he is keeping in contact like this. We both discussed how we wanted to be friends...but I just did not know quite how it would go. Any similar experiences? In my case, I feel like it is something I can handle because of the fact that I came to the reality that he was not putting in as much effort as I needed him to. In a way, being friends like we are is a nice change because there is not all the added pressure to make things work. I just keep wondering what he is thinking. Is he missing me, is he just being nice, what is he doing??? Thoughts?
MIB Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 It is very possible that he make have feelings for you. Most people still have feelings even after they broke up. You should ask him.
francis Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 my situation was pretty much the same...we broke up after two years in May, he ended it but still said it was important to stay in touch, still wanted to know what i was doing, asked me for updates etc... i guess its different for you as you say it was mutual...i was deeply hurt by the break up and the reason i kept in touch was that i clung on to hope...i eventually got exhausted after three months of contact and told him i couldnt do it anymore... it depends what you can handle, depends on your motivations for finding out why he still wants to stay in touch... he could be just easing himself out, softing the blow, time will diminish contact as you meet new people, undergo changes in your life that no longer involve eachother... think about where you want to go from now...if you can handle friendship, why not stay email buddies and wish each other luck with the future... in a way, its a sensible thing to acknowledge with you he is not cut out for LDR's...but his behaviour in wanting to keep in touch kind of hints towards the fact that he wants you in his life but is keeping himself emotionally unavailable to you to avoid the hurt, unhappiness and anxiety that comes with an LDR...
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