Should a man compliment a woman's looks?

[olasp]

Should a man compliment a woman's looks on the first dates? Or does it not matter too much if not? Is it ok to compliments on other things instead, like kindness and ambitions?

[Kamille]

Should a man compliment a woman's looks on the first dates?

 

If he wants to.

 

Or does it not matter too much if not?

 

Most guys do but no it doesn't matter too much if he doesn't.

 

Is it ok to compliments on other things instead, like kindness and ambitions?

 

Of course it's ok!

 

I just saw that you're a woman.

To be honest, most guys compliment looks very early on. If he doesn't, he could be low interest. It's not a big deal. We all find different things attractive.

[salparadise]

This is something that has changed a lot in recent decades. Women were once valued primarily for beauty (previous millennia), and the ones who still subscribe to old school ways will relish compliments... but progressive women prefer not to be objectified overtly and want to be appreciated for more substantive qualities. However, all women want to be considered attractive, so it's important for a guy to understand her attitudes and degree of awareness.

 

Do not compliment beauty generally. Any compliments on looks should be specific. You can compliment substantive qualities more generally. With my previous girlfriend (PhD and feminist) I would compliment her intelligence, judgement, discretion, etc. She loved it. I would also compliment her beauty, but I'd never say, "oh baby you're so beautiful." It would be more like, "you know, when you get up in the night I always watch your every step and appreciate how your slender, naked silhouette so gracefully moves... and it drives me crazy." I also used to compliment her in sort of a facetious manner, commenting on things like her optimal hip to waist ratio, and how it stimulates my amygdala and makes me want to do things to her.

 

So yea, all of this adds up to you are extremely attractive and you turn me on, but never, never imply that a woman's fundamental value is based on looks... assuming she is one of the more evolved specimens.

[d0nnivain]

Sincere compliments are always welcome Fake ones, too many compliments or ones that make it sound like the speaker only cares about superficial things like looks don't always go over well.

[mikeylo]

Everyone wants to be complimented, both looks and personality. Some guys stare at any walking woman with 2 legs while having a gf in their arm and if she asks why is he with her -- you are a good cook ! So she is just his cook?

[thefooloftheyear]

Ive found that women will love it when a good looking guy compliments them, yet the same woman will absolutely hate it when an average/below average looking guy does it...

 

If its a date(provided its not a blind date), then at least she thinks enough about the guy to go out with him....so yeah, if the situation warrants it, then a compliment will usually be appreciated..Id say just don't gush...that gets weird..

 

TFY

[Andy_K]

On a first date? Have a look at how much effort she has spent getting ready for it. If she's in makeup, has done her hair, is dressed up, etc, then you can be fairly sure a compliment would be appreciated. Everybody likes to feel their effort has made a difference.