Should I tell her why I unfriended her after she rejected me?

[whitewolf80]

Last semester I made friends with a girl in my class. We’d always talk during and go for walks after. By the end of the semester I had caught feelings for her. I told her how I felt and asked if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and I got her number. I was already fb and Instagram friends with her.

 

When I texted her she didn’t reply for a couple days. When she did reply, she said sorry , I’m not the best at getting back at texts. I should have known by that but I realized after. I texted her a couple days later asking to go to the movies. She never replied and we had no more contact.

 

I got upset that she didn’t reply because I thought I’m not just some random guy, I thought we were friends and I at least get a reply. If she just said Im not interested, I would have said oh well and just move on. The ghosting is what really hurt.

 

So a week later I unfriended her on fb and Instagram. I did it because I don’t want to see her pics and what she does. I just want to move on. But I feel bad that I didn’t tell her that I was going to do it. I just did it.

 

Should I send her a message saying why I did it? And let her know it’s all good, no biggie and wish you all the best?

 

Or just leave it as it is and if I see her in school again just be nice and play it cool.

 

I don't want her to think I hate her or anything. But maybe she doesn't even care so just move on and leave it at that.

[mightycpa]

No, don't explain anything. She dropped the mother of all hints, and you have indicated that you understand it.

 

You do understand that if she was interested, or you told her that you found $10000 and she could have half of it, she would have both replied and addressed your question directly. But in this case, she didn't.

 

You can take this one of two ways:

 

1) I'm so uncomfortable talking about this with you that I hope you will understand my silence and just go away without making me deal with it further

 

or

 

2) F*** OFF! Figure it out by yourself!

 

Either way, don't do anything more.

[preraph]

Of course you don't explain it to her. She's not an idiot. She rejected you and you did what you were supposed to do, get off her social media, so good for you. She did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. If you try to tell her anything now, it's just going to look like a desperate attempt to change her mind . Just move on and forget about her.

[mightycpa]

For her, I don't know about "nothing wrong." Common courtesy dictates that she reply in some way to express her disinterest. It is callous to leave someone hanging like that, because it takes a long time for silence to turn into certainty, and people spend way too much mental energy trying to figure out when that is and why the message had to be delivered in that way.

 

Thanks for the invite, but I'm going to pass on a date.

[d0nnivain]

Should I send her a message saying why I did it? And let her know it’s all good, no biggie and wish you all the best?

 

Or just leave it as it is and if I see her in school again just be nice and play it cool.

 

I don't want her to think I hate her or anything. But maybe she doesn't even care so just move on and leave it at that.

 

She knows why you unfriended her. You don't need to explain. If you remain cool & polite in class she will also know that you don't hate her. She cares less than you do. Don't make this worse by chasing her.