I still cant understand her ?

[petergarida]

I caught this girl staring at me several times. sometimes she make it obvious and sometimes from the corner of her eyes. i was once in the hall way going to my room in student accommodation and we made eye contact. she smiles and she said " I didn't realize we live next to each other" I said Yeah. I know I should have carried the conversation but I cat a bit awkward when I like someone. Today I was with a group of friends and she came in I said "whatsup jane" she looked at me smiled and looked down and she didn't respond so I am really confused and I really dunno what to do. coz with other guys she seems more outgoing and whenever they say hi to her she smiles and say hi. is she interested and shy or not interested coz I feel sometimes that I am invisible to her and sometimes not

 

I asked her out on facebook since I could not have a private conversation with her. all our colleagues are there. so she didn't respond but when she saw me in the hallway she said in an enthusiastic tone " helllllllllo I saw your message today , frankly speaking I am pretty busy this week so we can go in the weekend or we can have a coffee in the residence in the roof" just a note no one goes to the roof in the residence so most probably we will be alone. during the conversation she attentive but could not look me in the eye why is that? I met her today we were in a group of friends she is way more open but still she can't look me in the eye.

 

we didn't talk on the roof because i am the one who should propose this. but after the facebook message she is way more open to me greets me in an enthusiastic tone. but still she can't look me in the eye. today I discovered that she went out with friends on Saturday so why didn't she message me to tell me that she is free since I asked her out on Saturday. anyways I asked her out to go on Monday to a place but she answered that she has classes on that day and she didn't offer any alternative. I am really confused and I dunno how to act.

 

we didn't talk on the roof because i am the one who should propose this. but after the facebook message she is way more open to me greets me in an enthusastic tone. but still she can't look me in the eye. today I discovered that she went out with friends on Saturday so why didn't she message me to tell me that she is free since I asked her out on Saturday. anways I asked her out to go on Monday to a place but she answered that she has classes on that day and she didn't offer any alternative. I am really confused and I dunno how to act. I sent her this message I know that I will be called weirdo after sending this text but I prefer to be called weirdo better than an unfortunate person for not working hard enough to make it work because I have an intuition that you are worth every effort I make. can you give me when you are available so that we can organize a hangout. if you are not interested in going out ignore my text and I will receive the hint and I will distance myself from you and carry on with my life." her reply was this: yes it is always better to work hard than doing doing nothing! I am extremely busy till mid June. i have lots of projects to finish."

 

what do yo think? i told her to ignore my message if she is not interested in going out yet she didn't ignore my message but still she is busy till mid June which is 1 month from now? is she interested?

[Robert]

moderator bump

[flysolo]

She's not interested in you.

 

But you don't need us to tell you that, the situation itself presented is clear. But just so you can see clearly... :

 

1. She had free time on the weekend, and she knows that you asked her to meet on the weekend, but decided not to. Strike 1.

2. She declined you on Monday, and didn't offer an alternative despite the fact that you guys were supposed to meet on the weekend and didn't. Strike 2.

3. She didn't ignore your message because she is interested in you, she didn't ignore it because she thinks it's rude to coldly turn down someone like that. Since you guys will bump into each other, she is looking for more of a relaxed way out.

4. People look at people. People may stare at people. By no means this is a signal that she is interested in you. Would you have thought the same thing if a 60 year old stared you on multiple occasions? Let's get real.

5. She doesn't want to look at you because she wants to hide from you or avoid you/awkward around you. She's not shy. If she was the shy type, she would never had said "I didn't realize we live next to each other". Shy people don't do that.

6. She smiles when talking because she wants to be nice. She has already put you in the friend zone even before anything has started.

7. She brushed you off till June. This is strike 3. And you're out.

 

This is an example of a classic indirect rejection. I know you want to be optimistic and so do I, but this relationship was over before it even started.

 

What can you learn from this?

Stop at Strike 1 and act with confidence around her. Never dig deeper. You are 100% more likely to grab her attention this way rather than desperate pursuits for a little coffee.

Edited May 24, 2017 by flysolo

[d0nnivain]

She's a shy immature co-ed. That's not a dig. Everybody goes through this.

 

Isn't the semester over? That's your bigger problem.

 

For now just talk to her every chance you get. When her schedule lightens up, try to squeeze in that coffee date. She needs to get to know you & needs some reassurance that you are a nice guy who isn't playing with her emotions. Treat her kind of like a spooked puppy; move very slowly.