Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 You have to cut contact. Cold turkey. Like an addict going through detox and it will feel incredibly difficult going through those withdrawals. Tell him you need to move on. Delete his number. Block him. Etc. Then lean on your friends and family to keep you on the NC track and to help you with your grieving. It's going to be painful but it's temporary. Sticking with him will be indefinite pain. I have a feeling he'll come around sniffing but for the wrong reasons. So wth this method I'll never talk to him again?
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 No, but that's not what I'm worried about. I know he's genuinely not ready, but I still want to be around him. Not being ready for a relationship doesn't mean that he may not go out there and seek women to provide him with some attention. 2
mikeylo Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 No, but that's not what I'm worried about. I know he's genuinely not ready, but I still want to be around him. Then stick around and let pieces fall where they should.
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Not being ready for a relationship doesn't mean that he may not go out there and seek women to provide him with some attention. This sounds naive but he really isn't that type of guy
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Then stick around and let pieces fall where they should. Have you been in a situation like this? It would be nice to hear what happened to someone who's been through it!
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 So wth this method I'll never talk to him again? You don't talk to him for as long as you are emotionally affected by him. When the day comes when you've moved on as you can look at him indifferently, you can certainly be friends then. You need to start being realistic and thinking about your self-preservation. There is no in-between. You either stay in this crap situation or you go dark. 2
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 This sounds naive but he really isn't that type of guy Yes, you are being naive. You don't truly know who he is. You're speculating based on what you want to believe.
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 You don't talk to him for as long as you are emotionally affected by him. When the day comes when you've moved on as you can look at him indifferently, you can certainly be friends then. You need to start being realistic and thinking about your self-preservation. There is no in-between. You either stay in this crap situation or you go dark. Have you gone through something like this? You seem to be really smart with telling me what to do. How long did it take for you to be ok? I just need some hope really
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Yes, you are being naive. You don't truly know who he is. You're speculating based on what you want to believe. We don't see other people. I probably shouldn't say this but I COULD be pregnant with his kid. Which makes this messier
mikeylo Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I haven't been in this situation but since you are not ready to let go of him then the only way is to stick it out and see.
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Have you gone through something like this? You seem to be really smart with telling me what to do. How long did it take for you to be ok? I just need some hope really Yes, I've been through this before. When a man tells you what you do not want to hear, you need to listen, take heed and accept it for what it is. Move on. It can take months to grieve and come through the pain. It can take years for some. It all depends on the individual. But the first step is letting go and facing your truth. You will be in pain but you will get through it. 2
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Yes, I've been through this before. When a man tells you what you do not want to hear, you need to listen, take heed and accept it for what it is. Move on. It can take months to grieve and come through the pain. It can take years for some. It all depends on the individual. But the first step is letting go and facing your truth. You will be in pain but you will get through it. Do you regret moving on?
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Do you regret moving on? Why would you regret moving on from someone that does not want to be with you? Once you have moved on from this, you'll look back from this and feel thankful because you know you deserve better -- be with someone that loves you and wants to be with you. 4
elaine567 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 We don't see other people. I probably shouldn't say this but I COULD be pregnant with his kid. Which makes this messier OMG, you are correct it is a mess. So what are you going to do? Are you prepared to be a single Mom or get an abortion? I doubt that a man who has told you numerous times he doesn't want a relationship with you is going to be too pleased with this news, is he? I hope you have a good support system. How many weeks?
Zahara Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 OMG, you are correct it is a mess. So what are you going to do? Are you prepared to be a single Mom or get an abortion? I doubt that a man who has told you numerous times he doesn't want a relationship with you is going to be too pleased with this news, is he? I hope you have a good support system. How many weeks? Good grief. I didn't see this.
mightycpa Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I just need to know how to move on and be ok. Thinking of doing it hurts so bad and I don't know how to move on/ stop denying what's happeningOh, that's easy. You just decide to do it. It's no different than quitting smoking, not eating dessert or whatever else people want badly but they don't do it anyway. Just move on, and it will feel bad for a while, then you'll be ok.
stillafool Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 We don't see other people. I probably shouldn't say this but I COULD be pregnant with his kid. Which makes this messier Why didn't you use birth control? Why do this to yourself?
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 OMG, you are correct it is a mess. So what are you going to do? Are you prepared to be a single Mom or get an abortion? I doubt that a man who has told you numerous times he doesn't want a relationship with you is going to be too pleased with this news, is he? I hope you have a good support system. How many weeks? He knows, he seems oddly excited about it. Another reason why this situation confuses me.
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Why didn't you use birth control? Why do this to yourself? My excuse is like any other, I worked late one night and forgot the pill, had sex with him the same night.
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Why would you regret moving on from someone that does not want to be with you? Once you have moved on from this, you'll look back from this and feel thankful because you know you deserve better -- be with someone that loves you and wants to be with you. I've never had a boyfriend or someone be this nice to me, which makes me like him that much more. I'm sure lots of guys would treat me good but I have yet to meet them
preraph Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Yes, you are being naive. You don't truly know who he is. You're speculating based on what you want to believe. And what he wants you to believe.
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 And what he wants you to believe. I know him well enough to know he isn't ****ing/seeing anyone else. I'm not even going to argue about that.
mikeylo Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 See, he has told you very clearly that he doesn't want to be with you , the best way he could.So, he has made his decision. Now, YOU are not ready to accept it. It's not his problem anymore if you stay or go. He is not emotionally involved while you are. I would suggest to leave him alone and move on with your life. This one ain't interested. You are wasting your time. 1
Redhead14 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Haha no not friendzoned. He doesn't want to "hurt" me anymore, but whenever we're together, sex happens. A lot. Also we were at dinner 2 nights ago and he told his friend "I'm having dinner with my girl". Friendzoning is the least of my worries So don't worry about friendzoning. You have a choice to allow yourself to be used or not. "I'm having dinner with my girl" -- Yeah, his girl . . . for now. And, the rest of that sentence might be "and for as long as it takes her to get real with herself and stop stringing herself along". He doesn't want to "hurt" me anymore -- From the point where he told you he doesn't want a relationship, you are hurting yourself. He's off the hook. 1
Author geminijodie Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 See, he has told you very clearly that he doesn't want to be with you , the best way he could.So, he has made his decision. Now, YOU are not ready to accept it. It's not his problem anymore if you stay or go. He is not emotionally involved while you are. I would suggest to leave him alone and move on with your life. This one ain't interested. You are wasting your time. He is not saying he doesn't want to be with me, he's saying he isn't ready for a relationship. He is emotionally involved, I've told him I need to move on and he reminds me how much he likes me/wants to be with me in the future, and while I know that's not ok, it's not like me moving on would do nothing to him. On another note, didn't you tell me to wait it out?
Recommended Posts