Nguyen Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 After 20 years marriage, two kids in college (and an 11 year old), I'd had it with my loving loyal wife 'Lek'. We met in Thailand where I was a student, she was a virgin and we hit it off just ok. I wanted a family. Got a great job and did well financially. Lek was a lousy housekeeper (pack rat), poor cook, didn't take the kids out much, never focused on their homework. I basically became super dad and got them involved in sports and spent every waking moment either at work or reading to the kids or taking them on epic trips. As the kids got older I noticed Lek never walked by my side or held my hand. She would trail behind no matter how slow I went or how kindly I'd ask her to walk with me. Super frustrating. Lek has zero sense of fashion and wears old hoodies and is totally inept at finding a dress or anything that looks nice on her. She also gained weight steadily and did nothing about it. I'm not overweight at all. In March 2016 I said kindly to Lek how much I'm feeling like we can divorce because she doesn't really exist like the wife I'd expect, and I outlined the reasons above. She pretended the conversation never occurred. Our anniversary came and went she didn't say a word. Last summer I took her on a romantic trip and it just eats me inside how she never walks with me, but at the same time Lek is super devoted to me and loves me. In December 2016 I met for the first time Nguyen, a woman I'd corresponded with off and on from a dating app. She's 4 years older (I'm 49 she's 53). Nguyen is drop dead gorgeous, at 53 she's still got it all. Beautiful facial features (movie star), perfect legs, sexy hands, shoulders, even nice natural breasts. She lives 6 hours away and across the Canadian border! Nguyen raised a nice family, all of her kids are doing well and good people. We spoke on the phone often, texted a lot, and by mid January I'd sent my wife and younger son to Thailand, and Nguyen and I went on an epic 8 week trip together to Vietnam. Nguyen is in great shape and was an absolute dream of a traveling partner. I'm getting emotional just typing this message. She stood by me and we visited all of her family that still lives there. In my life I've never had so much fun and enjoyed the company of a person so much. We really hit it off, but keep in mind this was a vacation not 'real life'. You may be wondering how I managed to do all that and keep it secret from Lek, but my wife is very trusting and I had just finished a huge work-related project and needed a vacation. She thought I was ok and all alone. After we returned from our vacation, Nguyen was a total basket case and said she missed me like crazy. I was back living with Lek, thinking initially I should just forget Nguyen (for reasons below) but I grew to miss Nguyen and think of her nonstop, and I'd find a way to see her. I have a small motorhome so I'd either go meet Nguyen at the border and spend two nights with her there, or we'd figure out something. Every weekend we kept seeing each other. Nguyen is the most incredible cook, she can walk into a grocery store and pickup a few things and turn it into a meal no restaurant can rival. Extremely good cook you just have to see it to believe it. NGUYEN. Talk about her background. High energy she ran two businesses and raised a family and made all the money she needed but ran away from her husband after 20 years due to a family dispute. She fell in "love" with an employee who was 17 years younger but that didn't last long. Next she fell in with an addicted gambler who made good money but blew it all playing cards, day after day. Next she hooked up with another guy from casino and he worked at her business and followed her around for a few years before moving on, he apparently was so addicted to gambling he'd pawn every last thing and steal money to play cards. Terrible. She never stays single long owing to great looks and outgoing personality, she found a guy to take her in along with two teenagers. That lasted six years. She said he treated her bad and, while with him, she gambled away $100,000 that she still had from selling a home, racked up a load of bank debt and declared bankruptcy. It seems to me that he was probably a decent guy but her own compulsions led to collapse of their relationship. Now she works in a nail salon and gossips with customers about their relationships all day long. I'm not proud of the fact that, while on vacation, Nguyen took an old broken cell phone to give her nephew. He had the cracked screen fixed but the battery wouldn't charge well and we ended up getting the phone back. Nguyen at that point was taking a course so I had two full days and dug into her phone. For one thing, she would delete everything. You've never seen a woman cover her tracks by deleting so much. But things remained. For example when we met, she said she'd 'just discovered' online dating; however I found dating accounts going back three years, and what I found was pretty tame. She wasn't really on the prowl much until a few months before we met, and she got Tinder. From there, yeah she met a guy and screwed in a hotel. There were others she sent nude photos to (she has a picture-perfect body). Others spoke to her in a crude way and she kept conversing. One thing that bothered me was that after we met in December, she was super adamant and swore I was the greatest man and she was deeply in love with me. But I found one of her old dating contacts sent her a message and she was like 'if you come to the town where I live, call me'. I got paranoid about all of this and stopped having sex with Nguyen one week before our vacation ended. I'm a germophobe. I just told Nguyen I didn't want to have sex. I didn't tell her I looked into her phone but I asked her to be honest with me about the men she'd been with and how long she'd been dating online. She just lied about everything. It was a strange time. After we got back I got tested, then told her all that I'd seen on the phone and she just said that was my past forget it. One thing I've discovered is that Nguyen has a type of multiple personality disorder (?). Everything is fine but then she starts bitching and putting words into my mouth and fighting with me. It's terrible. My wife never argues with me, in fact she's an expert at just being kind. Nguyen always calms down and apologizes. I don't really trust Nguyen because she's an addicted gambler (I've read all about it), she lies to me, and she has a bitchy personality that comes and goes. However Nguyen is so gorgeous, she's very affectionate, and the FACT is that we have a great time together. About a week ago, in planning to go back to Thailand for a month (my idea to send her back) my wife discovered just a few photos and short video clips that I didn't delete from a camera disc. She saw Nguyen in our house and us together on vacation in Vietnam. So the 'cat is out of the bag' I was caught red handed. I apologized to Lek and she forgave me. Lek said we have 20 years and our family should stay together and she will forget this 'black spot'. She wants to stay. I spoke of her weight gain and other things and reminded her of our conversation a year ago and Lek said she would work on her issues as well so we could stay happy. Through all of this I am still planning to take Nguyen on another trip soon, perhaps in August. I may go off for several months. I just can't shake the fact that Nguyen makes me happy, Lek is a homebody, and I feel love for Nguyen like never before. I know saying goodbye to Nguyen is the best thing. Please help talk some sense into me I really need it. Thank you!
Tiga Posted May 24, 2017 Posted May 24, 2017 The grass might seem greener on the other side....but I think it's just your infatuation. Is this worth running your 20 year old marriage? You knew who your wife was/is for 20 years and all of a sudden it's a problem?
whatnot Posted May 24, 2017 Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) This dating site woman is beside the point. (and I believe you know that already). You were looking for an affair on dating sites before you met her. You also know she's not marriage material. It sounds like Lek has a few issues with you as well. She's picked up on the fact that you don't much care for her. (she probably knows on some level your not to be trusted, as much as you tell yourself "it's all under control". Are you sure you don't want your family anymore? If you want rid of them....do it. Don't blame it on some bimbo your into at the moment that won't last. Edited May 24, 2017 by whatnot
Maldives Posted May 24, 2017 Posted May 24, 2017 Man reverse it how would u like it if ur wife was doing wat ur doing. Ur lucky that u have a wife that's so committed nothing else to say ur pretty selfish the truth
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