kingofpain Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 current GF also owes more than she's worth. This is a real situation. When you owe more than you are worth, you are worth less than somebody who is worth zero. Yesterday I took out a predatory loan of $1200 just to keep my bills paid until next month. I definitely would not be in this situation if I were not absolutely emotionally crippled from getting anything done. Every time I get anywhere close to making a final decision on suicide I rationally pull back and resolve to at least figure out a way to best position my loved ones for the period after my death. No other relationship will ever compare. My shallow bitterness takes solace in the fact that I know this applies to her as well. I have absolutely dedicated my life to the happiness of other people in a way that could not possibly be exaggerated. None of my friends could dispute my dedication to their happiness.
basil67 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 When you owe more than you are worth, you are worth less than somebody who is worth zero. So someone who works their butt off to pay a mortgage to house their family is worthless? Quite an extraordinary sentiment you've got there.
divegrl Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I am so sorry you are hurting. This must be really difficult for you. But please, if you are considering suicide, contact a suicide hotline. There is a list pinned in the coping section. Plz know you are so loved and valued and your story is not over. Take care my friend.
Author kingofpain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 I am so sorry you are hurting. This must be really difficult for you. But please, if you are considering suicide, contact a suicide hotline. There is a list pinned in the coping section. Plz know you are so loved and valued and your story is not over. Take care my friend. Thanks guys. I did call a sui HL. As always they "cut the call short" upon hearing me say that if I were to get close to doing it, I would stop myself in order to make sure I got everything in order for everyone who depends on me. Of course I understand that these resources are dedicated to those who are in most immediate need. Though I had heard that this one was a bit different. Anyway it was not, and I definitely felt worse for having called. It's pretty difficult to conjure up an image of a more pathetic creature in my mind than myself
Altair0770 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Contact a crisis center if you can. Suicide is no joke. Idk about every state, but in mine it is free to go and you can get nearly instant treatment. I'd also start writing a list of things that are very good about you. I know that's hard to do in depression, but do your best to see the light in yourself. 1
divegrl Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I'm so sorry that happened. Please continue to reach out. I see you are in the states? There is an organization called TWOLHA. (To write love on her arms). Checkout their webpage. On the "find help" tab you can get a number for their hotline. I am very close with this organization, and I do not believe they would ever cut a phone call short. On their website, it also lists resources by state. I know you are in a lot of pain and hurt, and you can't see it right now, but there is always hope. We care about you; plz know you are never alone. Take care my friend.
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