Cowgirlup86 Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 About two years ago, I was on the outs of a ****ty marriage and in the process of meeting people (dating freaks me out), I fell into a small fling with a divorced man who traces for work, with two older kids, 9 years and 363 days my senior. Never met the kids. Long story short, he benched me. Benched to the point where he seldom texts first, but sent his best friend/ room mate to work for me and has begun a very slow transition into our field. (I'm the boss) We still exchange silly texts from time to time, he has a 2-3 minute response time. Once every couple of weeks. His friend who works under me is a great dude: he told me from the start he 'knew there was history and would nevet do or say anything to jeopardize their friendship.' I agreed and promised yup never put him in any form of a situation. However, he did tell me a few weeks ago that his room mate's dad had entered hospice... I had known he wasn't doing well when we were a fling, so I sent him a text: "hey, Sam said you're going through a lot, so I just wanted to send positive thoughts your way" he responded quickly, and said "Thank you, that means a lot" and I told him if he ever needed a beer and an ear to listen, it was on me. He never responded to that one, which is fine, it was open ended. His dad passed away this past Monday.. I found out Tuesday from the friend who works with me... I was shocked, I even asked the friend what do I do text, but wound up just sending an "I'm so sorry, my heart is with your family" text.. he quickly responded, "thank you, that means more than you know." I didn't respond, I figured he had enough on his hands. I won't lie: I do like him... a lot. I happily would have dated him, if he chose me. Were my texts over the line? I feel like I'm safely in the friend zone...
preraph Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 I think since you have somewhat of a business or networking relationship, it's fine to send condolences, but I wouldn't have added the part about wanting to have a beer with him. He knows where to find you if he's ever interested again. 1
mightycpa Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Your texts were fine. If he's interested, of course he'll try to read the tea leaves to see what your texts really meant.
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Showing compassion after a death is never out of line. I had been broken up with a long term BF when his father died. I sent a card because I had loved his father. (I was told not to attend the service or I would have gone). When my parents passed certain EXs send condolences.
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