miss_A Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Hi I need some advice. I met a guy at work when i joined the company 4 months ago and I immediately liked him. Him and I have been having spending a lot time together at work. We have lunch together almost everyday. He was in a bad relationship during this time but ended it a week ago. When we're together we're focused on eachother. We flirt alot and sometimes our eyes lock and we both blush. He has made comments about living with me, buying a car with me and marrying me. I take it he was joking. He has told me that he likes me and often tells me how kind and beautiful I am. He added me on facebook a few days ago but has never asked for my number. A few days while we were leaving work he pulled me to the side-street and passionately kissed me. I am wondering why isn't he asking me out or atleast asking for my number? I am confused. I really like this guy and feel that him and I could make a great couple. What do I do?
tojaz Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 What do I do? You ask him out! He was in a bad relationship not long ago, good chance he's going to be taking things slow for awhile and might be a little extra cautious about sticking his neck out again. Put your cards on the table and tell him that if he's ready to try a new relationship that you would like it to be with you. If he's game...great, if not then he knows whats on your mind and will be more receptive once he's in a better place for a new relationship. TOJAZ 1
coolheadal Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Red flag))) You do nothing with this guy. He just broke-up with his girl friend your just a replacement for his lost. He wants to marry you (red flag) he wants to buy you new car (red flag) I bet he's not broken up with his prior girl friend or something else is going on in his head. If he doesn't ask for your phone number that's another (red flag) means he's being devious as a secret and something else. Tell him cool it, you have not asked me for my number why? If he doesn't give you the right answer then he needs to stop it. You'll just end up getting hurt later on. Guy like this is so unpredictable at best you'll never know what's going to happen next with him. I say you play your cards but don't deal the deck out just yet with him.
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 (edited) He'll ask you out if and when he's ready. I would not ask him out. You need to see what he's made of. He's likely still embroiled and dealing with his ex, for one thing. He may be hoping they reconcile. He could be not asking you out because he doesn't want to date you but wants to sleep with you. The only way to find out is to see what he does next. That will tell you a lot more than you asking him out and him merely going along with it. Plus give this some thought: What's the first thing you learned about him? That he will have at least an emotional affair and flirt with women at work even though he was supposedly in a committed relationship. That's not a great ethic to take on, and he can tell you how bad it was all he wants, but he chose her and stayed with her long enough. If it was bad, maybe it was because HE was bad. Edited May 20, 2017 by preraph 1
coolheadal Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 You really don't know him that well and too soon for him to ask for marriage already. That's creepy feeling. Don't you see what's going on here. Rebound girl friend you'll become. He's not even over the first one. You should really find out what happen to his ex because that could happen to you. I bet he asked her for marriage, new car purchase etc..
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 He just got out of a relationship a week ago. Do you really want to be a rebound? Plus he may not want to date a coworker. Dating somebody you work with can be a problem, especially when things end. 2
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 He made those odd comments because he's super emotional about his breakup right now and he's just babbling. Same thing happened to me. I dated a guy and ended up working with him not that long afterward. He'd been separated and divorcing at the time. It was months later it was finally all settled and his wife had a loose end to tie up and came to the office to give him some papers and get him off her insurance or whatever it was. They had an amicable divorce and he had stood there talking to her while looking out the window and it was sad. Then after she left, he looked at me and said, "Who am I going to put for a beneficiary now, YOU?"
act00 Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 He broke up with his girlfriend a WEEK ago. Getting involved with a coworker - bad news.Flirting with a coworker while involved in a relationship - bad news.Hooking up with a coworker one week after breaking up with the old girlfriend - bad newsPromising to buy you a car, get married, a week after breaking up with the old girlfriend, yet doesn't have your number and hasn't taken you out on a date or spent time with you - bad news.Taking you to an alley to make out, while not taking your number, calling you, texting you, and not taking you out on a proper date and treating you like someone important - bad news. You're on a downhill spiral of not the best choices. Things will hit the skids. He's going to go back to his ex or he's going to move on to someone he values more than the girl he macks in the alley, and you will still have to work with him. Seriously, if he saw you as marriage material, he'd have asked for your number, called, texted, and possibly even arranged a date...a real date...by now. He's happy to enjoy your puppy eyes and make out in the alley - no strings. Stop it now. Tell him that as much as you like him, he is your coworker and he just broke up with his girlfriend and the timing isn't right.
mortensorchid Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 I think he's on the rebound. I would avoid this situation, because it's someone you work with.
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