Remystacks Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 I'm her... I was contacted by my ex of almost a year 3 months ago. We didn't break up on bad terms.. had a lot going on in our lives. Well he told me when we started talking he didn't want a relationship.. that's fine. I don't mind the fwb arrangement... but... he recently told me that he's been sleeping with other ppl. Sigh... now I'm gonna do the dumb female thing and stick around hoping he'll realize what a catch I am.. but I know the reality is he won't. I just need my LOVE SHACK folks to post comments that's going to jog me to my senses.. cause I really love this man and I think I'd out up with just about anything to stay near to him.. and that not fair to me. I'm a nurse, I work hard and my heart and soul are always being devoted to others.. I just want to think bout MY wellbeing for once ANY comments (even harsh ones) are welcome.. I just need to read something to try to help push me away from him
darkmoon Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 ok, think where his lips go when he is with his one of his harem members you do not want thrm on you! gross
spiderowl Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 (edited) If you hang around and are then for him when he needs you, what does he have to do to win you over? Nothing. If you leave him, what does he do? Well, he realises you won't put up with being second-fiddle. He mighty try to get you back to become second-fiddle again or he might not. If he wins you back easily, he will sink back into the status quo. That would not be any better and you would be back to square 1. Basically, if you want this guy to value you, you have to be scarce and resolute about not accepting a rubbish situation. The risk is he will give up. But, if he does, what does that say about how he valued you in the first place? You can hang around and wait for a miracle or you can cut your losses. If you get rid of him and get used to not interacting with him, then eventually you will become emotionally open to meeting someone else. Being stuck on the wrong guy is a real barrier to meeting someone. You mention putting yourself first. As long as you go along with second best, you will get second best. The important thing is to say no to it. Saying no to a rubbish situation means that only the good ones are left. You might have to say no a few times before the good one comes along, but at least you will be able to recognise it when it appears. Edited May 20, 2017 by spiderowl 2
oasis Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 You are just a part of his collection. No one with any shred of self esteem would tolerate being in that position. Abandon him and his ship of wenches and find someone who appreciates you. 2
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Your goal is to find one right guy. Right now, his goal is to be with as many women as will put up with him seeing other women. His goal is not to find "the catch," not right now. Maybe when he's over 30. If he's already over 30 and never been married, he probably isn't going to settle down. If he's over 30 and he's sleeping around because he married young and then got a divorce, he still might come around in another 5 or so years. You can like and even love a guy and at the same time realize with your brain that he is not marriage material. That is the case here. You can't live with everyone you love. They're not all qualified to be committed and responsible. 2
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