nais Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Curious minds want to know! I'm not sure anymore about anything except that all roads presently lead to this emotion. I'm different, I've been motivated to change for the better. I'm possibly alone in how I feel yet this person has inspired a significant change that has sustained me for the last 3 years. Any input would certainly be helpful.
Author nais Posted May 20, 2017 Author Posted May 20, 2017 Some say that sex isn't the focus, that simply desiring their company is a sign - Input needed
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 You need to be clearer about what kind of input you want. I honestly don't know what you are asking.
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 So you've been seeing someone who you think you may love and are pretty sure it's one-sided, but you feel they have helped you change and grow? And by the title you want to know if this is love, but not sure if you mean if this is you loving them or if them making you feel this way means they love you. I would say yes, you have some love for this person but that that doesn't mean they love you back in the same way. If they did, you would know it. Still, if this is a positive force in your life, maybe they are simply your instrument for change and a cobblestone on the path of your life's journey. 2
Ronni_W Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Some say that sex isn't the focus, that simply desiring their company is a sign - I'm more-or-less interpreting along the lines with preraph. If that is close to what you're experiencing, then it's quite possible or even likely that this person is more meant to be a catalyst for your own self-reflection, learning and growth than an actual romantic partner or long-term romantic partner. If it's within your personal philosophy/belief system, you might consider that it is a 'karmic connection' with a 'contract' or 'promise' that is being fulfilled; and originally agreed upon precisely to be this positive motivating force for your own betterment/upliftment. 2
avvril3000 Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 theres sexual desire that can keep you interested for so long... but then theres an emotion where you actually wanna go out of your way to make this person happy, to put a smile on their face, and thats real love. 1
Author nais Posted May 20, 2017 Author Posted May 20, 2017 Think you both nailed it. Sorry I was vague but it's something that has been hard to acknowledge as a real thing. It is there- it has been a force I have not felt or have been aware of before because it is so different. Hurts a little but in a good way. I'm hoping more can be had but I'm happy where it is in that it has brought about a distinct awareness. Have to make peace with the fact it happened- Will try to work through the feeling. 1
Ronni_W Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 I know what you mean about not being able to explain it too well on account of not having a similar prior experience or knowledge of how this type of thing works. It can be very discombobulating, to say the least. ...it's something that has been hard to acknowledge as a real thing. It IS real...or you couldn't even experience it, right? . So it's just a matter of coming to terms that it is of the type of reality that cannot be scientifically or concretely measured, observed, explained; you just know that it's possible because you know that it happened. Just because it is/was at the metaphysical level doesn't mean that it is 'not real'. If it's something similar as what happened to me, I also didn't have any prior knowledge/experience with which to compare it, so for the longest time I thought I was going crazy. But...no worries, you're not going crazy! 1
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Well, good luck, wherever it leads you. Don't limit yourself to just focusing on this person if you're pretty sure they don't quite feel the same or are unattainable. 1
Author nais Posted May 20, 2017 Author Posted May 20, 2017 I am really on a weird roller coaster of emotions and in no hurry to resolve. It's like a birthing experience. Surreal yet it's happening. Even with a miscarriage you lament the loss but it was still an experience. I want the other experience but I don't want it if it's not time. So as I journey through the proverbial gestation of emotion I will come to a " birthing" moment. Hoping it's healthy. 1
Author nais Posted June 2, 2017 Author Posted June 2, 2017 (edited) He's married. Nice- Since 2013 I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, run amuck, lead astray, so not a straight shooter. Sobering. Hurts a little- Only problem, where to now? Edited June 2, 2017 by nais
preraph Posted June 2, 2017 Posted June 2, 2017 He's married. Nice- Since 2013 I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, run amuck, lead astray, so not a straight shooter. Sobering. Hurts a little- Only problem, where to now? Gyaaagghhhh. Emotional affair. It's a minefield out there. Well, I guess number one is finding out if they're married asap (although some will lie about it anyway). Are you going out and being social and maybe going to church and just getting out as much as possible to meet people? You need someone who is ethical, so I'd be asking about their ethics early on. But mainly it's a numbers game of a lot of duds, so with what energy you have left over at the end of the day, try to go be social with friends and expand your network.
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