Frostedflake Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Personally, I don't care for the phrase. It's crude. It's not constructive. I wouldn't say it to anyone. And Life has been gracious enough that no one has ever said it to me (yet). But there are some things we don't have to hear in order to start bully ourselves about'em. So what do you do? Do you listen to the degrading voice inside your head and lower your standards? Fake it till you make it? Or go professional? --- For my story, I recently started talking to this very brilliant woman. She's.. "She's kind of a big deal", my mate remarked when I showed him a picture and his eyes caught her "Follower" count. Yeah, she is.. I mean, I don't network so this means nothing to me. But maybe it should? I've seen Followers/Fans drag couples through hell. I don't have to even participate for it to happen. Really the reason we started talking was we are both into fitness (and trashy old action films.) I really admire her dedication to something. And to be honest, after getting out of a relationship with someone with the worst health/drug abuse I've ever dealt with I'd love to be with someone who cares about their body. Emphasis on "someone", I didn't know it'd be her. But as it goes, one day I left a comment on one of her photos. I remarked about something written on her cup. And forgot about it as it was swallowed beneath many thirst commenters. Lost to the void. Then she sent me a private message. She returned the flak I gave her about the mug, some movie references to show she also peeped my page, and gave me a follow back. The conversations since have been refreshing and responses are consistent. I think if I believed in packages she'd be the one. But, ..why me? I'm wise enough to know that would be unattractive to actually say or show insecurity about to her. Still.. The question is there.
preraph Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Have you Skyped with her yet? You need to do that soon. It's not as good as meeting, but it can be informative. You know, there have been people who successfully got millions of followers pretending to be someone. Katy Perry had one of those. So you need to Skype. Suggest it to her. See if you have chemistry. See her in motion and let her see you in motion to see if that pull is still there. If so, maybe it will go somewhere. But you can't tell anything until you see people in motion and then meet.
Author Frostedflake Posted May 20, 2017 Author Posted May 20, 2017 Have you Skyped with her yet? You need to do that soon. It's not as good as meeting, but it can be informative. You know, there have been people who successfully got millions of followers pretending to be someone. Katy Perry had one of those. So you need to Skype. Suggest it to her. See if you have chemistry. See her in motion and let her see you in motion to see if that pull is still there. If so, maybe it will go somewhere. But you can't tell anything until you see people in motion and then meet. That's fair. Youtube is another platform she uses and that gives me a lot more confidence that she's legitimate. But seeing as we are a couple states apart, Skype is something I would suggest too. Kinda had me laughing over here thinking about testing legitimacy back in the days of Myspace. To know someone was legit they had to write in marker on their hand something of your choosing or make signs and take pictures with them. Would be a little embarrassing to ask for now in late 20's/early 30's..
normal person Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 But, ..why me? I'm wise enough to know that would be unattractive to actually say or show insecurity about to her. Still.. The question is there. I've been in your shoes when talking to a minor celeb or two. What I've learned is this: just because someone has a bit of a profile or following doesn't mean they don't have challenges finding partners. They can be the same challenges and/or different challenges. Just because someone has 100K+ instagram followers doesn't mean things are easier on them. Sometimes they work in a female and/or gay dominated industry (theater, fashion) and don't meet many straight guys. Some want to date someone outside the industry for whatever reason. Some have to sift through a ton of BS to find someone genuine, etc. My advice is try not to get too worried about it and play it cool, it will only work to your advantage if you downplay your excitement. I remember I once went out with a girl who revealed that her dad was someone very prominent locally and I had to find the right way to express enough excitement but not to "fawn" or overdo it. You have to maintain your composure. Just remember, in the end, she's just another person deep down. Best of luck. 1
carhill Posted May 20, 2017 Posted May 20, 2017 Leagues or not, the spoils in life go to the bold. Followers or not, popular or not, take her as she is and, if you are interested, show it in actions. Trust that she's had plenty of guys hit on her in life and she knows what she's doing when reaching out to someone, even if in response to a lead in. A couple states is a couple hours and I live in the wide open west. If she lived in your town would you ask her to lunch? If yes, go with that. Live a little. Yes, I've done it. Life is an adventure. 3
victoria88 Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 I think that you must forget the concept of the "League" and take a look at the personality. Does she like you? I think she does. You like her too (a lot). Great. Give you two a chance. Sometimes people who are wise and cool know that they can achieve success (having followers, contacts... even financial achievements) but they cannot achieve "LOVE" or "HAPPINESS". They can only open their heart and find the right person to spend their life with and this is all they must do... I think love is the only thing that matters, not the league. As long as 2 people love each other the league does not exist. So, take a look at her eyes when she talks to you, try to find out if she only likes you or even starts to feel something stronger. I wish everyone to be lucky enough to find true love! 1
Popsicle Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 A PM or two means nothing. It needs to be consistent before you assume someone is interested. 2
victoria88 Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) "But, ..why me? I'm wise enough to know that would be unattractive to actually say or show insecurity about to her. Still.. The question is there." If there are 3 things which you can change immediately in you (in your life), so that you are good enough for her, what would this be? I mean what do you think you need to change to get you in her "League"? p.s. I use the expression good enough as kind of "being in her League" (I hope you will not get offended). Edited May 21, 2017 by victoria88
coolheadal Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Personally, I don't care for the phrase. It's crude. It's not constructive. I wouldn't say it to anyone. And Life has been gracious enough that no one has ever said it to me (yet). But there are some things we don't have to hear in order to start bully ourselves about'em. So what do you do? Do you listen to the degrading voice inside your head and lower your standards? Fake it till you make it? Or go professional? --- For my story, I recently started talking to this very brilliant woman. She's.. "She's kind of a big deal", my mate remarked when I showed him a picture and his eyes caught her "Follower" count. Yeah, she is.. I mean, I don't network so this means nothing to me. But maybe it should? I've seen Followers/Fans drag couples through hell. I don't have to even participate for it to happen. Really the reason we started talking was we are both into fitness (and trashy old action films.) I really admire her dedication to something. And to be honest, after getting out of a relationship with someone with the worst health/drug abuse I've ever dealt with I'd love to be with someone who cares about their body. Emphasis on "someone", I didn't know it'd be her. But as it goes, one day I left a comment on one of her photos. I remarked about something written on her cup. And forgot about it as it was swallowed beneath many thirst commenters. Lost to the void. Then she sent me a private message. She returned the flak I gave her about the mug, some movie references to show she also peeped my page, and gave me a follow back. The conversations since have been refreshing and responses are consistent. I think if I believed in packages she'd be the one. But, ..why me? I'm wise enough to know that would be unattractive to actually say or show insecurity about to her. Still.. The question is there. Come on now! Guy wake-up! Stop it! So much doubts already when you meet her be yourself the guy she's been texting too. That's all you have to concern yourself with her. She's already fond of you so the next go ask her out on date. Be the other guy be the guy that stands out from all the rest. Your one the one, be that one! That's how you should think and stop thinking like the end is near way. Get out of that be more confident bold the leader take the charge! Rally Cry! Let's Do it! Make it so Engage! Edited May 21, 2017 by coolheadal 1
CptInsano Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 A PM or two means nothing. It needs to be consistent before you assume someone is interested. Agreed. While I certainly believe that hat fortune favors the brave, the communication that occurred so far is friendly. That's a great start, something to build on, but it doesn't mean that somebody is interested in a romantic sense. It's too early to worry about a lot of these things. 1
OatsAndHall Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." At one point in my life, I weighed nearly 300lbs due to an underlying hormone issue that I didn't catch until many years later. In that time, I dated two women that many would certainly consider to be "out of my league". My shallower friends could never understand how I did so well, especially those that had the charm of a wet blanket. I was around 250lbs when I met my ex-wife and she's a beautiful gal that was half my size. One of them asked me, "HOW DO YOU DO THAT?" I told him that it was simple; I didn't do anything other than be myself. Self-confidence and personality go a long way. 3
Author Frostedflake Posted May 21, 2017 Author Posted May 21, 2017 If there are 3 things which you can change immediately in you (in your life), so that you are good enough for her, what would this be? I mean what do you think you need to change to get you in her "League"? That's a good question. It's not so much what I would change, it's more so what I can't? Which, now saying that "out loud"/typing it has brought about that, "if you can't change it- don't worry about it" bit of resolution. I guess those things would be: 1) I'm a government worker and travel for a week (at minimum) every two months. While I've taken partners with me before, she's got her own things and events. Maybe she wouldn't be up for it. It's way too early to suggest. 2) She's a fitness guru. It's a little intimidating and I completely admire she's chased some certifications and likes helping people. But I'm still just a hobby gym-goer and I'd like to respect her business/not affect it? I'm not sure how I would, but it's still a worry. For the other responses: She sent me a Snapchat (full faced video) saying my name and a ridiculous phrase I suggested. We have a Skype date Tuesday. And thank you for your pep talks!
victoria88 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 (edited) "I guess those things would be: 1) I'm a government worker and travel for a week (at minimum) every two months. While I've taken partners with me before, she's got her own things and events. Maybe she wouldn't be up for it. It's way too early to suggest. 2) She's a fitness guru. It's a little intimidating and I completely admire she's chased some certifications and likes helping people. But I'm still just a hobby gym-goer and I'd like to respect her business/not affect it? I'm not sure how I would, but it's still a worry." 1) Nothing to worry about (you travel from time to time). Perhaps she likes travelling too. 2) She was a hobby gym-goer in the begining, before becoming a guru. Show interest in her work, show you are passionate to learn more... p.s. General advice: one red rose would say more than 1000 words. Edited May 22, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote
preraph Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 That's fair. Youtube is another platform she uses and that gives me a lot more confidence that she's legitimate. But seeing as we are a couple states apart, Skype is something I would suggest too. Kinda had me laughing over here thinking about testing legitimacy back in the days of Myspace. To know someone was legit they had to write in marker on their hand something of your choosing or make signs and take pictures with them. Would be a little embarrassing to ask for now in late 20's/early 30's.. She could just be SAYING that's her on YouTube, so get her to Skype pronto.
frus69 Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 I am confused. After reading first half if your post I thought you were dating a brilliant woman and were a little insecure. After reading the second half it sounds like you are just one of the followers who she happened to replied to. Does she know you at all?
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