I ruined things.

[FailedFirstLove]

I'm very similar. Only medication helped me with anxiety but I can't be on them forever. Counselling didn't help unfortunately. If only it was as easy as people people say "find a way to deal with it". Well if someone knows PLEASE. Tell us

[basil67]

I looked at your post follow and unfollow and on it goes and I can't see that he hates you. Hate is a really strong word. Hate comes after someone has been vicious or malicious. You were neither. You were just flaky.

 

Over dramatising what you assume he is feeling is not going to help you feel better about any of this. First step is to get back to reality. I'm sure he hasn't worked up the degree of passion required to hate you. It's far more likely that he simply can't be bothered with you.

[basil67]

I'm very similar. Only medication helped me with anxiety but I can't be on them forever. Counselling didn't help unfortunately. If only it was as easy as people people say "find a way to deal with it". Well if someone knows PLEASE. Tell us

 

I wouldn't normally start a different conversation on someone else's thread, but as you're similar to Nadine, she may get something from this discussion.

 

Did the doctors tell you that you can't be on anxiety meds forever?

 

You say you did counselling. Did that include working with a psychologist to try and learn different coping mechanism? Did you try CBT? What type of anxiety were you diagnosed with?

 

Just checking to see if you really are out of options.

[Nadine123]

It's far more likely that he simply can't be bothered with you.

 

Of someone unfollows you then unlikes you pics 4 days later that means theyre bothered. someone who isnt bothered wont care to do this.

[jamili]

It's far more likely that he simply can't be bothered with you.

 

Of someone unfollows you then unlikes you pics 4 days later that means theyre bothered. someone who isnt bothered wont care to do this.

 

None of this sounds like he hates you. This anxiety and stress is causing you to blow things way out of proportion. Just relax, go NC.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time together. The fact that he didnt just shows he simply wasnt that into you, simple as that. It was VERY likely nothing you did or didnt do. It was just not as good of a match as you thought it was. Early in a relationship the both of you should be unable to keep your hands off each other... this doesnt sound like an explosive connection to me.

 

NC and let this all blow over. Stop worrying about him liking or unliking pics too... the fact that he was getting involved with any of that bs in the first place shows you how immature he really is.

 

You being more invested than him wasnt really the issue as much as that he wasnt invested enough.

[d0nnivain]

how do I stop feeling guilty.

 

You don't.

 

One of the things my therapist is trying to drum through my thick head is that guilt should be a catalyst to motivate you to stop doing this in the future. You need to change so that this doesn't happen in your next relationship.

 

I just started CBT therapy. And this is for you too, FailedFirstLove. My therapist has me using this things called "tappers". You hold them in your hands & they pulse but at different rates. Your brain doesn't like the fact that the sensations on the right are different from the input on your left & it tries to compensate. This strengthens the bridge / connection between the right & left sides of your brain. One controls intellect & logic; the other emotion. You need a good bridge when the emotion goes nuts & causes anxiety. The intellect needs to be able to calm it down. There are other exercises my therapist gives me with the same goal.

 

If you don't learn to control your anxiety without meds but they can be a good starting point, you will repeat this behavior & have a lifetime of failed relationships because you are too clingy.

 

Use your guilt to move forward & improve. You will be happier in the long ru.

[Nadine123]

None of this sounds like he hates you. This anxiety and stress is causing you to blow things way out of proportion. Just relax, go NC.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time together. The fact that he didnt just shows he simply wasnt that into you, simple as that. It was VERY likely nothing you did or didnt do. It was just not as good of a match as you thought it was. Early in a relationship the both of you should be unable to keep your hands off each other... this doesnt sound like an explosive connection to me.

 

NC and let this all blow over. Stop worrying about him liking or unliking pics too... the fact that he was getting involved with any of that bs in the first place shows you how immature he really is.

 

You being more invested than him wasnt really the issue as much as that he wasnt invested enough.

 

Your answer genuinely made me feel better. Thank you.

[preraph]

There's different kinds of anxiety, but a combination of therapy to see where it came from, and meds and behavior modification techniques would surely help you some.