I ruined things.

[Nadine123]

Hello all, hope youre doing well.

 

So I started seeing this guy about a month ago. He's a nice guy, a bit passive aggressive but I mean who's perfect. I went to his house one day, we had an awesome time and we ended up hooking up. This was the third time I see him so I didnt know him for long.

 

He was really nice about it the next few days but I decided it wasnt good for my anxiety. I started acting a bit awkward around him and thats when I realised it wasnt going to work out at all. I sent him a msg apologizing and wishing him the best (with other friendly stuff) and removed him from facebook. I figured that Im going on holiday and maybe it would help me chill a bit and think about things.

 

a month later he likes one of my pics on instagram and follows me. I didnt react or follow him back as I was worried he would think I got so excited or that Im running after him. He then unfollowed them and followed me again the same day. This is when Im like maybe he wants to be on good terms and be friends. I wanted to follow him yesterday but I found that he unfollowed me again.

 

That really hurt my feelings for some reason. I accept full responsibility for my awkward behaviour and anxiety with him. Do you guys think he got upset that I didnt follow him back or msg him?

[Altair0770]

Yeah he was probably baiting a message, but if he's that quick to unfollow you again he likely wants to try a relationship. If you don't want that it's best to just ignore.

[Blanco]

Passive aggressiveness is not something to take lightly. It doesn't seem like a big deal in the beginning, but that's one of those traits that will eventually wear down even the most optimistic person.

[BC1980]

I wouldn't try to read into what people do/say on social media. It causes so many problems. He said this/that, liked my picture, followed/ufollowed, he still has a picture up of us, he deleted a picture of us, he put up lyrics to a song we liked, and on it goes. It's really kind of fruitless to try to decipher what people mean on social media, which is why it's best to unfollow or delete people off your social media after a breakup. You weren't officially dating this guy from what I can tell, but, if you are still hurt by something on social media, it's best to unfollow him.

 

I can give you my best guess as to what was going through his mind, but I can't tell you with any certainty what it meant. He was probably looking at your social media because it's an anonymous way to peek into someone's life. He liked/followed on impulse and later regretted it because he probably thought it made him look hung up on you.

[Redhead14]

Hello all, hope youre doing well.

 

So I started seeing this guy about a month ago. He's a nice guy, a bit passive aggressive but I mean who's perfect. I went to his house one day, we had an awesome time and we ended up hooking up. This was the third time I see him so I didnt know him for long.

 

He was really nice about it the next few days but I decided it wasnt good for my anxiety. I started acting a bit awkward around him and thats when I realised it wasnt going to work out at all. I sent him a msg apologizing and wishing him the best (with other friendly stuff) and removed him from facebook. I figured that Im going on holiday and maybe it would help me chill a bit and think about things.

 

a month later he likes one of my pics on instagram and follows me. I didnt react or follow him back as I was worried he would think I got so excited or that Im running after him. He then unfollowed them and followed me again the same day. This is when Im like maybe he wants to be on good terms and be friends. I wanted to follow him yesterday but I found that he unfollowed me again.

 

That really hurt my feelings for some reason. I accept full responsibility for my awkward behaviour and anxiety with him. Do you guys think he got upset that I didnt follow him back or msg him?

 

he would think I got so excited or that Im running after him. -- Did it seem to you that he was so excited or running after you???

 

Get out of his head and into yours. You do what's good for you . . . PERIOD.

[Nadine123]

I understand, but if someone removes me from facebook, I wont go follow them, like their picture, and then unfollow them four days later. Its just weird. what do you guys think?

 

Im asking because sometimes my anxiety makes me look at things the wrong way. To be honest with you the unfollow thing hurt my feelings because it's like a slap in the face. I took like he's telling me ''you're worthless and I dont want you in my life''.

 

I also feel that he might wanted to be on good terms by doing this and I ruined everything.

[dumbass2]

My suggestion is never include a person that you have romantic feelings for on any social media. Maybe once you really get to know them and are in a solid relationship you can, but I really see no reason for it. I only keep some friends and family on there. Whenever there are feelings involved, social media can be the devil. Best to just make sure he can't communicate in anyway on there. If you or he want to truly communicate, make a call or text. Most social media only allows for miscommunication and game playing. I see it all the time on here.

[Nadine123]

I understand but can anyone provide an opinion on why he dI'd all of this. I know it's hard to read his mind but opinions would be great

[dumbass2]

Just trying to get you to contract him maybe? My ex did this with me a few times and if I contacted her she would ignore. I figured out is was just her wanting to know that I was still interested but she had no interest in getting back. This was mainly just through breadcrumb text, but same type of thing you are going through. Like me you are trying to read something more into it when it is pretty meaningless unless they contact you directly.

[Nadine123]

for some reason this makes me feel so rejected and hurt.

[Miss Spider]

You guys don't associate anymore and have no reason to, so he has no reason to keep following you. I don't understand why you expect he would or be offended he didn't

Edited May 16, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Nadine123]

he doesnt associate with my friends either and he follows them, which means he hates me.

[BC1980]

I understand, but if someone removes me from facebook, I wont go follow them, like their picture, and then unfollow them four days later. Its just weird. what do you guys think?

 

Im asking because sometimes my anxiety makes me look at things the wrong way. To be honest with you the unfollow thing hurt my feelings because it's like a slap in the face. I took like he's telling me ''you're worthless and I dont want you in my life''.

 

I also feel that he might wanted to be on good terms by doing this and I ruined everything.

 

Well, if you are going to stake your self-esteem on a guy unfollowing you on social media, you don't need to be on social media. I'm not kidding. Social media can be a land mine for people with great self- esteem and no anxiety. You went on three dates with this guy, and he unfollowed you on social medua. Why would unfollowing make you feel like a bad person? You told him you didn't want to have any further relationship with him, and he unfollowed you. He probably wants to move on. Think about how he must feel. You slept with and then told him goodbye. Why would he want to follow you around on social media after that?

[Miss Spider]

he doesnt associate with my friends either and he follows them, which means he hates me.

 

You might know that, but he doesn't. He might think he has a chance to get in with them?? But he's already slept with you and you cut it off, then ignored, basically telling him to go away, so he doesn't follow. Makes sense to me. But what doesn't make sense is why you really care if he follows you or what he thinks now that it's over. It's just. 1 follower

[Redhead14]

I understand but can anyone provide an opinion on why he dI'd all of this. I know it's hard to read his mind but opinions would be great

 

You're absolutely right you can't and we can't read his mind . . . but why assume something negative. As long as you're going to assume, you might as well make it be something more positive that doesn't hurt -- like, he's an ass and I don't care what he does. And, stop living your life by FB likes, clicks, follows, etc. None of that means squat in the whole scheme of living.

[Nadine123]

I didnt sleep with him and tell him goodbye, we actually spoke for a bit after that. The reason I cut it off with him was because of my anxiety and that I couldnt handle being in a relationship. Before deleting him on fb I sent him a nice msg wishing him a great time because he was going on vacation.

 

It hurts me because I actually do like the guy but due to my anxiety I cant be with him. I got so excited when he followed me on instagram and liked my picture (has nothing to do with a like or a follower as many people say). It has to do with HIM giving me hope that this could work but I guess thats over with now.

 

Do you guys think I should send him a msg saying hi an asking him how he is or I shoul take that as a sign to f*** off.

[Miss Spider]

I agree w redhead. Don't assume the negative about yourself or that he hates you. Sorry you feel down about this. I know feelings aren't always logical or easy to understand and social Media can be a harsh place. Hope you feel better soon.

[Miss Spider]

Oh okay. Nadine, I don't think it's a **** off at all. I think he just assumes there's nothing more there. There's no reason you can't say hi to him, especially if you told him at the time you couldn't handle a relationship at that moment and that's why you guys ended last time.

[Nadine123]

Thank you cookies. I really appreciate that.

 

what do you think he meant when he liked my picture and followed me that day. would love to hear what you think about it.

[Nadine123]

he has not unliked the two pics on instagram, 4 days after he unfollowed me. Is this normal?

[BC1980]

he has not unliked the two pics on instagram, 4 days after he unfollowed me. Is this normal?

 

To regain sanity, get off social media.

[Nadine123]

I ruined things with a great guy by being too clingy nd my anxiety took over. Now he hates me.

 

I understand its important to accept responsibility for my actions and learn from my mistakes. I am also aware that there is no going back but how do I stop feeling guilty.

[jamili]

Being clingy and anxious should not cause hatred. That isnt reasonable. Is this a new guy or the ex?

[Nadine123]

A new guy.

 

He does hate me because the way I behaved. We went out for a while and then after we hooked up I started stressing out that he might ditch me so I began acting weird (not giving him space, etc). He was still trying to be nice to me but I ruined things.

 

Two weeks ago he tried reaching out again but I was overthinking how to react so he just removed me everywhere a couple of days later.

[preraph]

You need to seek therapy for your anxiety because it will just keep happening anytime you are into someone. Stop feeling guilty by dealing with the problem.