freebird31 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 This guy in one of my classes asked me for my number. He asked me to study quite a few times and I kept making excuses and said I couldnt. Eventually I just gave in and went. One study session turned into 4 study sessions. Something about him caught my interest. The things he would say. He would say certain things that were quite honestly, sexy. Like when he would discuss intelligent topics. Anyway, after the 4th study session. We were at the coffee shop. It was closing time and we were just about finished. We walk to our cars and say good bye. Then he ends up asking me if I want to hang out. So, again I thought eh why not? I guess, because some part of me did feel interested in him. Well, we had a beer at a bar down the street. We talked for three hours. And it was wonderful. I learned so much about him. And all the things I learned really caught my interest. I was very amused at all of the stories he told me. he talked about college, past girlfriends, and his family. I saw a different side of him that I never would have expected him to have. He is intelligent and smart and wise and level-headed, from what I know so far. Well, we still see each other in class. We actually sit right next to one another. But i dont know what it is. But when we are in class and at school, I just dont feel anything for him. As a matter of fact, i feel turned off by him. He asks the professor silly questions and he is just completely different than the person that I was talking to at the bar that night. It is just a huge turn off. He even acts kind of goofy and he's slow and clumsy in class. Maybe I need to get to know him better. I dont know whats wrong with me. Or how i went from hot to cold. I went from initially not being that into him, to really being into him, right back to not being as interested anymore. He seems really nice. And he has put in quite a lot of effort in getting to know me. Well, we have another date this saturday. he told me that he would like to take me out and show me a good time. And no one has ever said that to me. Im 25 so its a first time a guy is courting me and doing all these nice things like this. I dont know if it is because maybe i jsut like the attention. idk. But i really really liked that side of him that night. I even thought maybe it was the alcohol that made me feel that way, but theres no way that could have been possible. because we each only had one beer over the course of that 3-hour conversation. Im confused. Is it normal to feel hot and cold like this for someone? I just feel like he has two complete different sides to him. And I am attracted to one side, but not so attracted to the other.
smackie9 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Just my observation, but all he is doing is putting on an act to impress you being a pseudo intellect. How you see him interact with the general public is how he actually is. If he tried to be all intelligent to a professor he might be called out on it, being caught in his BS. 3
Author freebird31 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 Well, that night when we hung out he discussed really extraordinarily smart topics like metaphysics and philosophy. I personally don't fancy that kind of deep discussion, but after he explained certain things to me, it made me interested in what he was explaining. And impressed by his intelligence. I just don't think that is a kind of intelligence to fake. But on the contrary, at school... in our class he is always pretty clumsy. For example, he doesnt follow the directions properly and is always confused. I mean everyone gets a little confused sometimes in that class, its difficult i do too sometimes. But it is just a turn off the certain things he does. Last time he broke his equipment in class by accident and he is always breaking the equipment because he is not careful. Idk. its like a total 180. Or maybe he is just very intelligent about certain topics but not others. and IDK why that would turn someone off like it does to me. It just makes me frustrated with myself. Because I have really lead him to believe I want to go out on this date with him. And i dont want to hurt anyones feelings by leading them on and then end up not liking them. I have been taking it really slow from the start anyway. But I have expressed my excitement in wanting to see him again after we had the first hang out. I hate having to reject someone. I wouldnt have gotten myself into this kind of situation if i knew I didnt like him. I guess I can relate to all of the people who have gotten hot and cold on me in the past, now. Idk how it can be controlled. Its like an uncontrollable feeling. well i just plan to go on the date with him and see how it goes.
Author freebird31 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 maybe he is pseudo-intellectual. guess i will find out
Author freebird31 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 anyway, im not that intellectual in that way anyway. I mean yeah, it is kind of interesting why this and that works the way it does. But i wouldnt go as far as to discuss those topics to someone on my free time. I just dont get why it was attractive. I just really dont understand dating or love. just way too confusing. how feelings change. And to be on either end sucks no matter what. I guess that is just what dating is. Experimenting.
preraph Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I don't think it's normal to feel hot and cold like that, no. It's weird he's different in class. maybe school makes him kinda nerdy. Anyway, will just remind you of this: Dating is for getting to know someone. So if you like one side of him, keep dating until you feel the scales tilting for or against him. Good luck. 1
Author freebird31 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Posted May 21, 2017 It's safe to say I am not into him. I felt so disconnected after the date. He went on to talk about sci-fi stuff and science fiction stories he wrote. And we are just very different. Sure I think he is attractive. But I don't feel any thing more. It's sad and it sucks. I feel even more discouraged with dating now. He said a few endearing things. And he held my hand which felt nice. But other than that, I don't feel a connection with him. After that date it made me feel so disconnected in general.
todreaminblue Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) some people do better one on one than a class of people or a room full of people....especially introverts....i am introvert /extrovert/unknown....introverted i am quite clumsy.....you dont see me in white clothes if i am in introvert mode........one on one rocks to me in introvert mode........adult conversations and discussions rock my world....i love them..but then i like class discussions too....i used to one on one with a mathematics professor.have talked to teachers all my life...preferred too over peers........hours and hours with the maths prof... actually we were both stuck in a psyche ward where intellectual capacity is severely diminished.....we talked books and psychiatry and philosophy and maths and schizophrenia.... i love the one on one interactions with an intellectual date..but even if that person isnt intellectual i can hold a conversation thats interesting and engages them....normally into laughter........I just need a bit of support by a guy being interested in what i have to say and giving some conversation back..... i feel you are being a little tough on him.....he could be a one on one kinda guy...the hot cold thing is a little harsh..and unaccepting....deb Edited May 21, 2017 by todreaminblue
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