Author firestar Posted May 21, 2017 Author Posted May 21, 2017 I couldn't find anything on Google, so I looked him up on Spokeo.com. It turns out that he IS married!! Those who were suspicious were right! ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! If something feels off it is off! Glad I lost only a month of my life to this filthy cretin. Going to delete him from my Meetup group so he doesn't prey on another unsuspecting woman! This guy works and volunteers at a church too along with the rest of his parents. Somebody is going to hell!! I guess the innocent, church-attending devout Christian nice guy facade is convincing to a lot of women Btw, Google is not totally reliable--it only showed this guy's blood relatives who have the same last name as him. It did not show relations with different names. If his wife kept her maiden name and they don't have joint bank accounts or don't register for things together as a couple (except for a marriage certificate in City Hall), Google search will not turn up anything. Go to Spokeo.com--they actually search marrige records and will conclusively state if he is married or single! Spokeo currently charges $1 for access to their search results for anyone. Be sure to cancel before 7 days have passed or they will bill you $20 for some kind of trial service (didn't read the details). I don't know if it shows a divorced status, but for one of my friends who is widowed the marital status still showed "married".
kendahke Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 We actually met in the first week of April and emailed back and forth for a while. We started texting around the last week of April. But yes, we've gone out only twice... Maybe I'm asking too much from him, but don't you think it's a bad sign when he texted but didn't make any plans to see me again? (This was before I sent him the "breaking up" text.) Doesn't change my response.
Author firestar Posted May 21, 2017 Author Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) I did a background search on M and turns out he's married! Always trust your gut! Last night before I thought about doing a background check my stomach was literally in knots and I had twinges of pain but couldn't figure out why. I didn't eat anything unusual and didn't excessively exercise or anything. Somehow I started googling his full name and wouldn't stop until I had some answers. All whitepages and people check sites only showed his mother, father, and brother's name. I kept looking and some random site said he was married but I wasn't sure. I checked all my single and married friends and their marital statuses were correct except for the widowed friend whose status still showed "married". I went to Spokeo and paid $1 for a 7 day trial service and it also showed that he is married. My friends' statuses were correct too. There is a remote possibility that he is divorced but the unwillingness to take me to his apartment when he was so eager to do the deed I think speaks for itself. Acting as an imposter and presenting yourself as single when you're married should be a crime! It can take a huge toll on an innocent person's life in time, energy, and money wasted not to mention do lasting damage to their emotional and psychological health. I feel lucky to have found out now rather than 3 years down the line. Always trust your gut! Edited May 21, 2017 by firestar
stillafool Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 Thank goodness you were only involved with him a month before you found out the truth. Now that you know he is married and you did the right thing it should be easy to move forward and put this behind you. Good luck. 1
Author firestar Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Oh lawd. What a creep!!! I just hope that the website info is correct. Spokeo.com also says one of my friends is married but she lives with her sister and nieces and has never mentioned having gotten married to me. If she did get married secretly I don't know if she divorced the guy. But people could be separated or divorced and I don't know if that is reported by Spokeo. I think I'm going to have to just ask him directly. I think with evidence from people search he is going to tell the truth. If he denies I'll just have to ask for proof, like showing up suddenly at his apartment and doing an "unannounced inspection".
coolheadal Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I couldn't find anything on Google, so I looked him up on Spokeo.com. It turns out that he IS married!! Those who were suspicious were right! ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! If something feels off it is off! Glad I lost only a month of my life to this filthy cretin. Going to delete him from my Meetup group so he doesn't prey on another unsuspecting woman! This guy works and volunteers at a church too along with the rest of his parents. Somebody is going to hell!! I guess the innocent, church-attending devout Christian nice guy facade is convincing to a lot of women Btw, Google is not totally reliable--it only showed this guy's blood relatives who have the same last name as him. It did not show relations with different names. If his wife kept her maiden name and they don't have joint bank accounts or don't register for things together as a couple (except for a marriage certificate in City Hall), Google search will not turn up anything. Go to Spokeo.com--they actually search marrige records and will conclusively state if he is married or single! Spokeo currently charges $1 for access to their search results for anyone. Be sure to cancel before 7 days have passed or they will bill you $20 for some kind of trial service (didn't read the details). I don't know if it shows a divorced status, but for one of my friends who is widowed the marital status still showed "married". Yes just like with the men the women are married and hiding that fact as well. She told me she was married after her best friend told her to tell me. That means she had no plans on telling me the truth. After 4 months with her I find out. I didn't do anything with her so I am good. She wants her cake and pie.. You can find out if he's still married by looking up voter registration shows you. I had one told me she got her divorce and she was telling me the truth but he was in prison that she didn't say nor that he was coming out soon. Also just because they volunteer at church they're not going to cheat they'll cheat if they want too. I don't do these things, but it's a shame you ran into this. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 I just hope that the website info is correct. Spokeo.com also says one of my friends is married but she lives with her sister and nieces and has never mentioned having gotten married to me. If she did get married secretly I don't know if she divorced the guy. But people could be separated or divorced and I don't know if that is reported by Spokeo. I think I'm going to have to just ask him directly. I think with evidence from people search he is going to tell the truth. If he denies I'll just have to ask for proof, like showing up suddenly at his apartment and doing an "unannounced inspection". Often-times, divorce decrees are a matter of public record. You may be able to look up the divorce in the jurisdiction in which it took place. 1
stillafool Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 It would seem that after this: We actually met in the first week of April and emailed back and forth for a while. We started texting around the last week of April. But yes, we've gone out only twice... Maybe I'm asking too much from him, but don't you think it's a bad sign when he texted but didn't make any plans to see me again? (This was before I sent him the "breaking up" text.) Of course it's a bad sign. It means he's not interested. I just hope that the website info is correct. Spokeo.com also says one of my friends is married but she lives with her sister and nieces and has never mentioned having gotten married to me. If she did get married secretly I don't know if she divorced the guy. But people could be separated or divorced and I don't know if that is reported by Spokeo. I think I'm going to have to just ask him directly. I think with evidence from people search he is going to tell the truth. If he denies I'll just have to ask for proof, like showing up suddenly at his apartment and doing an "unannounced inspection". Why would you go through all of the above when this man has shown you he has very low interest in you? Why don't you just move on? It was only 2 dates. If you go over to his apartment you will look and be desperate. 2
Sloppyseconds Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Wow girl... you tell him it isn't working and you cut things off, and then you become so wrapped up in finding answers that truly shouldn't matter if you've ended things (even if it was only a two week sometiing). Bigger issue here is why put yourself through all of that, to the point of physical pains and paying money (even a dollar) to sleuth this guy. I think you really need to back off a bit the next time you get involved with someone, else you will never land a healthy relationship. You ended it. Move on. Let him be. My issue would be all the red flags you've sent up in how you handled this and not the fact that he wasn't interested in the end. Rejection happens. Just a part of the process. 1
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