Post First Date

[Grey40]

It a girl doesn't text you after the date and say she had a great time does that mean there won't be a second date?

 

We just ended out first date, just a hug goodbye she said she would text me and so far nothing. It's only been 30 min but usually after most first dates the girl has always texted me and said how good of a time she had

[BaileyB]

It's only been 30 minutes... I'd give her a little more time.

[Grey40]

Waited an hour, then I just caved in and texted her telling her I had a good time we should do it again etc. she hasn't replied. I hate when my gut is right

[selinaluv]

Waited an hour, then I just caved in and texted her telling her I had a good time we should do it again etc. she hasn't replied. I hate when my gut is right

 

Was it really a great first date and are you truly interested? Or do you just want to get her text back because it will make you feel better?

[Grey40]

Was it really a great first date and are you truly interested? Or do you just want to get her text back because it will make you feel better?

 

Definitley interested. Good first date? What does that even mean? I can never tell. It was brief only about 90 min. She had to go home she has work early in the morning. She told me well before the date that leaving early was going to be the case. Body language seemed good, no crossed arms or anything like that. She asked questions about me, laughed, seemed ok. I really couldn't tell for sure though. It didn't seem she was "uninterested", but not over the top into me either.

Edited May 19, 2017 by Grey40

[act00]

If I really enjoyed myself, I will text when I get home. There are a lot of people who don't want to text right away because they don't want to seem too eager. You state she had to work early the next day. It's possible she went straight to bed. She didn't answer your text because she was sleeping. It is also possible she just didn't feel anything for you in a romantic sense. All you can do at this point is wait. If you don't hear from her, either don't bother anymore, or you might wish to shoot her another text in the next day or so and ask how she's doing and if she would like to try to plan another date. No answer is your answer.

[Gaeta]

If she needed to go home early and head to bed than ..she's in bed, no?

 

Don't wait for women to text you first after a first date if you liked the woman then text her you had a great time and would like to see her again just like you did. A lot of women don't have enough confidence to text a man back or are afraid of appearing too eager. On many dates I waited for the man to text me after just to evaluate his level of interest.

[Grey40]

If she needed to go home early and head to bed than ..she's in bed, no?

 

Don't wait for women to text you first after a first date if you liked the woman then text her you had a great time and would like to see her again just like you did. A lot of women don't have enough confidence to text a man back or are afraid of appearing too eager. On many dates I waited for the man to text me after just to evaluate his level of interest.

 

Thanks and yeah that's actually exactly what happened. She responded this morning and told me she went right to bed and didn't see my message. However, check out her tone in the text...doesn't sound enthused nor did she even comment on most of what I said.

 

Me: (10pm last night) did you get home safe? I had a really great time meeting you, we should do it again sometime soon, (then I mentioned inside joke from date) hahaha

 

Her: (this morning) yes I did. Sorry I was asleep already didn't see yyou ur message. It was nice meeting you! Thanks again for the drinks.

[selinaluv]

Thanks and yeah that's actually exactly what happened. She responded this morning and told me she went right to bed and didn't see my message. However, check out her tone in the text...doesn't sound enthused nor did she even comment on most of what I said.

 

Me: (10pm last night) did you get home safe? I had a really great time meeting you, we should do it again sometime soon, (then I mentioned inside joke from date) hahaha

 

Her: (this morning) yes I did. Sorry I was asleep already didn't see yyou ur message. It was nice meeting you! Thanks again for the drinks.

 

If you are interested and if it was a good first date for you (note I said for you), then ask her out again if you really want. Then you will know for sure. She gave you a nice message back, go for it.

[Grey40]

How long should I wait to ask her out again? I should probably let a couple days pass right? I was thinking of waiting until Monday and ask for a Weekenddate where she can actually stay out longer.

[selinaluv]

How long should I wait to ask her out again? I should probably let a couple days pass right? I was thinking of waiting until Monday and ask for a Weekenddate where she can actually stay out longer.

 

I think waiting a day or so is fine, but not too long. If you like her, don't give her too much time to get back on the sites and get sidetracked by someone else. Sadly, this does happen. In the meantime, send her a hello just to confirm that she is still on your radar. Don't over think it. If she likes you, your timing won't matter. But don't give her time to wonder where you stand.

[Imajerk17]

Well OP, my gut feeling is that she isn't interested. Anytime a girl texts back after a first date using the adjective "nice" to describe it, as opposed to "really good" or "great", which is the adjective YOU used, it is not a good sign. Especially if she waited the next morning to return your text, no questions about your upcoming day, ect.

 

HOWEVER, you definitely don't know for sure. There are definitely people out there who need more than one date to warm up to someone, and there are couples where the fireworks didn't come until the 2nd or 3rd date. So I say, if you really want to see her, I'd suggest *calling* her, maybe tomorrow.

 

In either case though, all this analysing/plotting your next move is completely pointless. You call her and suggest a second date, and either she'd be open to see you again or she won't be. You are acting as if waiting a certain amount of time to get back to her will make her more into you. It won't.

Edited May 19, 2017 by Imajerk17

[mortensorchid]

I usually wait until the man texts me after a get together. If I do not hear from him within 48 hours, it's over and done with. Sometime last summer I did have only one OLD where the man texted me the day after and he said "I had a great time with you last night, hope we can do it again." I texted back "Thanks, I did as well." And then ... Nothing else. He never texted / called again, and I did not reach out again. Just another encounter.

 

You seemed to like her, so you texted her. Wait a bit and see if she responds. Once again, the 48 hour rule. If nothing, it's done.

[Gaeta]

Ask her out for this Sunday.

 

Waiting Monday than asking her out for next weekend is too long. She'll have time to go out with 2-3 other men and you'll be long gone in her mind.

[Grey40]

So just sent her a text this morning asking her out again for tomorrow, waiting to hear back.

[Grey40]

Well OP, my gut feeling is that she isn't interested. Anytime a girl texts back after a first date using the adjective "nice" to describe it, as opposed to "really good" or "great", which is the adjective YOU used, it is not a good sign. You are acting as if waiting a certain amount of time to get back to her will make her more into you. It won't.

 

 

So yeah, my gut got wrenched when she responded that way. Amazing how even through text you can pick up on subtle feelings. I have noticed a big difference in texting patterns when girls like you vs. being polite and uninterested. But you can't always tell. This girl was never too enthusiastic over text even before we met up and isn't a big texter in general.

 

I don't agree with the second point about waiting though. I do think push-pull does work with building attraction and making that attraction stronger. You can call it a game, but it's really just how it works. Women are emotional and they enjoy that "wondering" aspect. It's why when you tell a woman upfront that you like her too soon, they lose interest because it's no longer a challenge. So I agree there's no point in analyzing or plotting but there's so also a way to be interested but still leave a little mystery.

 

Either way, I asked her out again and we'll see what happens. If my gut was correct I probably won't hear from her or she'll politely decline

[Gr8fuln2020]

It's why when you tell a woman upfront that you like her too soon, they lose interest because it's no longer a challenge. So I agree there's no point in analyzing or plotting but there's so also a way to be interested but still leave a little mystery.

 

I'm willing to be I am considerably older than you. I have date quite a bit and I have NEVER, NEVER lost a girl b/c I told a girl 'too' soon that I liked her. In fact, I typically tell a girl that I like her on the first or second date. Not love mind you, like.

 

Only the ones that like to play emotional games or suspicious of you run.

[Grey40]

I'm willing to be I am considerably older than you. I have date quite a bit and I have NEVER, NEVER lost a girl b/c I told a girl 'too' soon that I liked her. In fact, I typically tell a girl that I like her on the first or second date. Not love mind you, like.

 

Only the ones that like to play emotional games or suspicious of you run.

 

I should clarify, I don't mean saying you like them. I mean acting way too into them/head over heels too soon. It's more about behavior. How you say you like them..you can say it in a respectful cool way or in a clingy, desperate way. There's a difference

[Gr8fuln2020]

I should clarify, I don't mean saying you like them. I mean acting way too into them/head over heels too soon. It's more about behavior. How you say you like them..you can say it in a respectful cool way or in a clingy, desperate way. There's a difference

 

Gotcha. If any woman acted that way, I would be gone too. :-)

[Grey40]

So she replied couldn't go out tomorrow but we set up a date for next weekend, this is great. Hopefully she won't bail hahah. But she seemed a lot more friendly through text this morning than she was yesterday.