John_hello Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Hi. New to this forum. First post. So here's my situation: It's been a year and a couple of months I've been with my first "real" girlfriend. Being a 24 year old male, I am admitting that I did lose my virginity to her. Here is my issue, though. For a couple of months I started to get this feeling that when I'm out in public or whatever, and I spot another attractive woman, I start thinking of stuff, basically I wonder about exploring my sexuality with other women. What's causing me pain is that the girl I'm with right now is everything to me. She makes so happy, believes in my passions and supports my endeavors, and attractive. Yet, I feel the need to sleep with other women.... I've admitted this to her since I believe in never hiding anything from your partner. Is this normal, considering the fact that I've only been with 1 partner in bed? Do all men feel that way? I know I'm feeling selfish and ashamed but yet I dont know why i'm feeling this way since I know it doesn't make sense. It's all very confusing..... We basically broke up today, since for me I also feel so much uncertainty in my relationship while I think she wanted to commit to me... basically marry me. I don't know what to do, feel, etc. Any advice or help would greatly be appreciated.
mightycpa Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 That's why they say that the little head controls the big one. Of course it's normal... then you bang maybe 50 of them, and you figure out that some women give you horrible sex, some terrific sex and most average sex, but when it's all said and done, you want someone with similar appetites, boundaries and practices. In other words, you want to do everything you like to do, and you don't want to have to do what you don't like. But this is something most people need to find out for themselves. You might want to rethink that whole openness thing, and save that kind of news for when you're ready to act on it. If you were ready to act on it, then I guess you should act on it. There really is no good answer to being stuck between a rock and hard place, other than you have to choose.
Author John_hello Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 That's why they say that the little head controls the big one. Of course it's normal... then you bang maybe 50 of them, and you figure out that some women give you horrible sex, some terrific sex and most average sex, but when it's all said and done, you want someone with similar appetites, boundaries and practices. In other words, you want to do everything you like to do, and you don't want to have to do what you don't like. But this is something most people need to find out for themselves. You might want to rethink that whole openness thing, and save that kind of news for when you're ready to act on it. If you were ready to act on it, then I guess you should act on it. There really is no good answer to being stuck between a rock and hard place, other than you have to choose. Thanks.... I needed to read that. I know its so easy to get rid of this and yet Im feelig all confused... it's as if I dont know what love is.... I guess with time Ill have a clearer understanding as in what I want/need to do
Marc878 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 You aren't ready to settle yet. This isn't a bad thing. You're too young and need to explore.
EmilyJane Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 You don't need to explore. It's not biologically mandated. You're about to do the thing that most guys regret. Leaving a girl they were compatible with and happy with for the lure of sexual experiences. It's stupidity. Sex is just sex. You still cum and then it's over. It's no great mystery. Sex with someone that loves you who you trust and love and are close to - is unrivalled and precious and difficult to find. So you leave her for this ridiculous hollow reason, you are going to be the one that suffers, because I guarantee she will move on with someone else quicker than you do. 2
Redhead14 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 You need to get in touch with your priorities. You're old enough to understand that certain things are fleeting and to understand the consequences of doing things without looking at the bigger more rewarding picture. It's OK if you don't feel ready to settle down with one woman, however, you should not lead this woman on or sow your wild oats unless you tell her you're moving on. Frankly, it sounds to me like you do have some growing up to do before you decide you want a committed relationship and that's what you should do.
mightycpa Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 You don't need to explore. It's not biologically mandated. You're about to do the thing that most guys regret. Leaving a girl they were compatible with and happy with for the lure of sexual experiences. It's stupidity. Sex is just sex. You still cum and then it's over. It's no great mystery. Sex with someone that loves you who you trust and love and are close to - is unrivalled and precious and difficult to find. So you leave her for this ridiculous hollow reason, you are going to be the one that suffers, because I guarantee she will move on with someone else quicker than you do. I must disagree - OP, I suspect if you don't quench these desires the good old-fashioned way, you'll marry, nurse these desires until you yield to them, and then one day the one or the both of you will find yourselves in the infidelity forum, wondering why you didn't do what your gut said to do when you had the chance. Then, the more important thing. There's a flaw with this idea of love. The illusion of love will come to most people at least 3 or 4 times in their lives. You're in it, it feels like love, but when it goes away, it goes away for good, and that's when staying in the relationship feels dishonest. You leave for yourself, but also because you know your partner deserves more than what you can give her. She deserves what you're refusing to take from her. Only rarely will that feeling blossom into something new that can last for decades, maybe even a lifetime. There's at least three forums on LS that are dedicated comforting former members of the "perfect" couple. So if this is #1 or #2, you're going to feel miserable when the next one comes along, whether it's hers or yours. What are the chances that you've already found that lifetime match, one of the few people that you can actually love? Statistically unlikely. Last, not all sex is insert, work, cum and roll over and go to sleep. Sure, sex at the gloryhole might be that, but the way a woman moves and talks and sounds and responds to your touch varies across the entire spectrum, and the effect upon you will vary depending on how much you like her. There's also the little matter of a woman's eagerness to please and to be pleased ... that also varies. There's a lot more flavors out there than vanilla.
Recommended Posts