Lorenza Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 He won't cheat, but he'll enjoy the sessions, have no doubt about it. I'd just go and find myself the most handsome PT and have equally much fun 1
Titanll Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 He told me hes a butt guy Sounds like a keeper to me...
CptInsano Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Maybe, but are there no male personal trainers? Because men tend to work out harder when women are around, noticeably so. That's why many of my workout buddies were female. I'm currently working out with an attractive Indian woman. I don't want much more from her than company and her nagging reminders to work out. She is pretty good at the latter.
AJ27k Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I think you are justified in a situation to feel a bit insecure, but keep in mind your BF that looks are only part of the rather large equation. Your BF loves you for a lot more than your looks. If you love your BF and care about the relationship, you are going to feel like this to some degree. Its normal! Like someone posted, there will always be someone out there more attractive than you. Its inevitable. You also have to keep in mind this trainer deals with a ton of males on a one to one basis. She has to be professional, and I'd say if she has been doing this for any length of time, she keeps all of her training sessions with guys as such.
kendahke Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Yes, she may only be interested in him as a client, she may be all loved up elsewhere, she may be a "man hater", she may be only interested in women... etc. etc. BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... Hmmm??? this still isn't the trainer's or boyfriend's issue. It's the OP's issue. She hasn't dealt with her feelings of not being enough as she is--she's the one comparing herself to everyone else walking around and judging herself as not good enough. That is something she needs to take to a therapist first because all the weight loss in the world will never make someone feel differently about who they fundamentally are. People get plastic surgery every day and for those doing it for the wrong reasons, it never fixes the place in their head that's telling them they're not good enough as they are. The trainer, from what she's written, hasn't done anything to make OP feel she's going to take her man from her. In fact, the trainer probably has a boyfriend who looks better and is in better shape that OP's doughbody boyfriend. The boyfriend, from what OP has written, hasn't done anything to make OP feel he's going to throw her aside to be with this trainer. All of this is OP projecting not only her low self esteem onto everyone else to own, but perhaps what she would be doing if she was in better shape. 2
NTV Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Maybe you should date her first. Like a preemptive strike. 1
Author Pixie90 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 Yes, she may only be interested in him as a client, she may be all loved up elsewhere, she may be a "man hater", she may be only interested in women... etc. etc. BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... Hmmm??? She does not work through a public gym, and shes not expensive and cut us a deal. 1
Author Pixie90 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 (edited) this still isn't the trainer's or boyfriend's issue. It's the OP's issue. She hasn't dealt with her feelings of not being enough as she is--she's the one comparing herself to everyone else walking around and judging herself as not good enough. That is something she needs to take to a therapist first because all the weight loss in the world will never make someone feel differently about who they fundamentally are. People get plastic surgery every day and for those doing it for the wrong reasons, it never fixes the place in their head that's telling them they're not good enough as they are. The trainer, from what she's written, hasn't done anything to make OP feel she's going to take her man from her. In fact, the trainer probably has a boyfriend who looks better and is in better shape that OP's doughbody boyfriend. The boyfriend, from what OP has written, hasn't done anything to make OP feel he's going to throw her aside to be with this trainer. All of this is OP projecting not only her low self esteem onto everyone else to own, but perhaps what she would be doing if she was in better shape. I should add some info about myself and my bf. My boyfriend has been an athlete his whole life. Hes not oveeweight or ugly by any means. Hes himself biggest critic and wants to tone and get stronger. I dont want to lose weight, im actually very petite and trying to gain muscle. A lot of my insecurities stems from the fact we havent had a normal adult relationship and we have cultural differences. We love each other very much, although it hasnt been easy with certain rules in my culture. My parents are immigrants and have certain beliefs that has made our relationship challenging. My fear is that he will find someone more attractive and see that she doesnt have the baggage that i do, and doesnt have a strict cultural background. But i know how the male eye works, i know he wouldnt do anything but the thought of him finding someone incredibly attrctive is hard for me to swallow. I know it sounds odd, but ihavent found anyone else attrctive. Not once. Edited May 19, 2017 by Pixie90
harrybrown Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I still like training together. You and He get more time together. She sees many clients and needs to keep her job. Your b/f may be wonderful to you, but she has many in her world and would like to keep the referrals coming.
Author Pixie90 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 I still like training together. You and He get more time together. She sees many clients and needs to keep her job. Your b/f may be wonderful to you, but she has many in her world and would like to keep the referrals coming. She only does training on the weekdays, and the only time he can go according to her timings is when I work.
amaysngrace Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Maybe suggest a three way since you seem a little bit obsessed with her backside. Let it go. If he's going to cheat he's going to cheat and it's really out of your control. 2
Titanll Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I should add some info about myself and my bf. My boyfriend has been an athlete his whole life. Hes not oveeweight or ugly by any means. Hes himself biggest critic and wants to tone and get stronger. I dont want to lose weight, im actually very petite and trying to gain muscle. A lot of my insecurities stems from the fact we havent had a normal adult relationship and we have cultural differences. We love each other very much, although it hasnt been easy with certain rules in my culture. My parents are immigrants and have certain beliefs that has made our relationship challenging. My fear is that he will find someone more attractive and see that she doesnt have the baggage that i do, and doesnt have a strict cultural background. But i know how the male eye works, i know he wouldnt do anything but the thought of him finding someone incredibly attrctive is hard for me to swallow. I know it sounds odd, but ihavent found anyone else attrctive. Not once. Is it your culture that gives you this superpower to know about how the male eye works? I guess sexist statements are fine in your culture as long as they are directed at males. And saying that your parents are immigrants as a way to somehow excuse your insecurities doesn't seem too healthy to me. I assume that you are an adult and you can certainly decide which, if any, baggage you wish to cling to. What's really irking to me is that you claim that Mr. self professed Butt Man will never cheat but you decide that all males with eyes are just one hot butt away from cheating. I mean, you still manage to project, or otherwise excuse, your own insecurity onto someone else... I don't know, ask him to wear blindfold or just keep him in dungeon... 1
kendahke Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I should add some info about myself and my bf. My boyfriend has been an athlete his whole life. Hes not oveeweight or ugly by any means. Hes himself biggest critic and wants to tone and get stronger. I dont want to lose weight, im actually very petite and trying to gain muscle. A lot of my insecurities stems from the fact we havent had a normal adult relationship and we have cultural differences. We love each other very much, although it hasnt been easy with certain rules in my culture. My parents are immigrants and have certain beliefs that has made our relationship challenging. My fear is that he will find someone more attractive and see that she doesnt have the baggage that i do, and doesnt have a strict cultural background. But i know how the male eye works, i know he wouldnt do anything but the thought of him finding someone incredibly attrctive is hard for me to swallow. I know it sounds odd, but ihavent found anyone else attrctive. Not once. and still, none of this is anyone's place to own but yours. You can throw a million more things into this mix and it doesn't change what I say. Here's my question: why don't you tell your boyfriend to hire a male trainer? 1
Author Pixie90 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 Here's my question: why don't you tell your boyfriend to hire a male trainer? Because its not that i dont trust him, asking him to get a male trainer qould make him think i dont. I know there can be hor women anywhere and im trying to get rid of the problem i have in my head.
kendahke Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Because its not that i dont trust him, asking him to get a male trainer qould make him think i dont. I know there can be hor women anywhere and im trying to get rid of the problem i have in my head. Then perhaps instead of a trainer, you should be working with a therapist. 1
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Then perhaps instead of a trainer, you should be working with a therapist. Maybe, but like some people seek out therapists due to a fear of driving on the motorway, their fear is not without substance, it is not an irrational fear. Motorways are indeed very dangerous places to be. It is therefore not possible to entirely "therapy" away that fear as it is based on fact. The "insecurity" here is not irrational either. Her bf is about to spend loads of time with a woman who is very attractive and who shares a lot of his values and interests. Therapy may make the OP feel slightly better about her bf spending time with this woman, but it will not cure her basic insecurity as the facts are that this woman IS more attractive than she is and her bf may indeed be highly attracted not only physically but also due to the things that they have in common. The OPs "insecurity" is thus entirely rational.
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Yes, she may only be interested in him as a client, BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... Hmmm??? elaine567 -- I thought the OP, Pixie90, picked the trainer 1st. After the BF discovered that his GF, the OP, liked this trainer & she was a good trainer then the BF chose to use the trainer's services. He didn't set out to find himself a hot trainer. Pixie90, am I wrong about the order of things? Because like I told you if your BF opted to use your trainer, to me that is a sign he values your opinions & thinks you have good judgment.
kendahke Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 Maybe, but like some people seek out therapists due to a fear of driving on the motorway, their fear is not without substance, it is not an irrational fear. Motorways are indeed very dangerous places to be.. That is non sequitur. OP isn't facing a dangerous situation by driving a vehicle while dealing with a phobia. She is operating on the assumption that because she's not good enough, every nice butt'ed woman is going to devise plans on her boyfriend and he's going to throw her over for them. It's an irrational narrative that OP has constructed to make the self-assigned notion that she'll never be good enough true, when it's not. No where near being a good analogy.
elaine567 Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 That is non sequitur. OP isn't facing a dangerous situation by driving a vehicle while dealing with a phobia. She is operating on the assumption that because she's not good enough, every nice butt'ed woman is going to devise plans on her boyfriend and he's going to throw her over for them. It's an irrational narrative that OP has constructed to make the self-assigned notion that she'll never be good enough true, when it's not. No where near being a good analogy. Thinking she is not good enough is a side issue, the fear she has is of losing her bf to this more beautiful specimen who shares his religious background and his interest in sport. That fear is not irrational, she is not spending her time comparing herself to every woman her bf interacts with, that may be something therapy may help with. This, however is a specific case and IMO she has every right to be worried here.
anduina Posted May 21, 2017 Posted May 21, 2017 A lot of my insecurities stems from the fact we havent had a normal adult relationship and we have cultural differences. We love each other very much, although it hasnt been easy with certain rules in my culture. My parents are immigrants and have certain beliefs that has made our relationship challenging. My fear is that he will find someone more attractive and see that she doesnt have the baggage that i do, and doesnt have a strict cultural background.If the two of you aren't sleeping together, that might impact on fear of loss and male wandering eye.
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