Pixie90 Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 My boyfriend and I want to get into better shape. I started to see this female person trainer over a month ago, and now my boyfriend set up sessions to have her train him as well. I know personal training can be a intimate process, the two people talk and laugh and get to know eachother and are friendly. This trainer is beautiful, and wears leggings. How can I not be insecure? She has the body type he likes. (He's a butt guy, and I am not blessed in that department). They both come from the same religious backgrounds, where as my boyfriend and I are different, and they both are crazy into sports. I trust him, i know he wouldnt cheat. However, i get insecurities that there are women who are better than me. How can i stop being insecure?
PegNosePete Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 I trust him, i know he wouldnt cheat. However, i get insecurities that there are women who are better than me. If you trust him and he wouldn't cheat then what does it matter who else there is in the world? If he would never cheat then he could have Kim Kardashian as a personal trainer and it wouldn't be a problem at all. I think you need to examine yourself more closely here. Do you really trust him? If you do then why don't you trust him when he's with her? 2
smackie9 Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 You can't. The reality is, there will always be someone more attractive and or appealing to us. It's just part of life. If he meets someone he would rather be with, then it was for the better....I know those words are not very encouraging, but you have to remember you would do the same thing if you were ever put in that position. You are only dating, and so it is normal to have other options come along. 5
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Try to remind yourself that he picked you because he likes you. Training is not that much of an intimate experience. It's goal oriented. If she is your trainer too he picked her on your recommendation. this is evidence that your guy values your opinion. Perhaps see if you can meet with the trainer together. Mention him fondly when you are with her. Keep your eyes & ears open but do assume she's a professional & this all above board. 4
PegNosePete Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Keep your eyes & ears open but do assume she's a professional & this all above board. Yes -- if she did anything with your BF then she would be shooting herself in the foot because not only would she be losing *2* clients, she'd potentially lose her job if she was found out. 3
CptInsano Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Yes -- if she did anything with your BF then she would be shooting herself in the foot because not only would she be losing *2* clients, she'd potentially lose her job if she was found out. Yes, the scenario is very unlikely IMHO. A personal trainer has a reputation to uphold and will not risk her livelihood that way. There may be a very low-level flirt to keep clients happy, but this is generally as far as it goes. 3
GunslingerRoland Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Do some squats and buy some form flattering leggings. There are a lot of things we can't improve about ourselves, but I think (almost) everyone can make their butt look good.
NJ123 Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 You can't. The reality is, there will always be someone more attractive and or appealing to us. It's just part of life. If he meets someone he would rather be with, then it was for the better....I know those words are not very encouraging, but you have to remember you would do the same thing if you were ever put in that position. You are only dating, and so it is normal to have other options come along. From what you're saying though is that no one will ever be good enough if there's always going to be someone more appealing, What's the point of being in a relationship with that mentality? It's her actual boyfriend not just someone she's going on dates with unless there's more to the situation that I don't know about.
Author Pixie90 Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 From what you're saying though is that no one will ever be good enough if there's always going to be someone more appealing, What's the point of being in a relationship with that mentality? It's her actual boyfriend not just someone she's going on dates with unless there's more to the situation that I don't know about. Weve been together for a long time
NJ123 Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Weve been together for a long time Well, than if he's a good guy he won't even think about cheating or anything. A relationship material man/woman isn't just going to go after someone more attractive or whatever else.
kendahke Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 I trust him, i know he wouldnt cheat. However, i get insecurities that there are women who are better than me. What makes you think that your boyfriend would throw you over for this trainer? What makes you think that this trainer would even want to take him from you? How can i stop being insecure? That may take therapy to get at the root of why you think other people are better than you based solely on what they look like or what religion they are. I know personal training can be a intimate process, the two people talk and laugh and get to know each other and are friendly. She's not interested in your man. She's more than likely has a guy who she likes way better and is in better shape. She's only there to make money, not take your boyfriend. And quite frankly, if his head can be turned that easily, then you really don't have what you think you have. Make sure you're not projecting what you'd do in the same circumstances onto what this woman's motives are/are not. 3
Titanll Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 She has the body type he likes. (He's a butt guy, and I am not blessed in that department). How do you know this? Bolded part in particular...
preraph Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 A trainer is probably not going to be interested in someone who "wants to get in better shape." She's probably already got herself her own personal trainer all wrapped up. People who train at gyms have to juggle crushes people have on them all the time. They are taught to be friendly to people, just as waitresses and servers are, to get people to enjoy and come back, but everyone who is a hardbodied trainer has unwanted attention all the time at the gym that they have to be very careful to not offend them while at the same time refusing their advances. So I'd stop worrying about her. If she did this, she is also your trainer. It's unlikely she has ANY interest in him, but if she did, she'd know you'd be sure she lost her job. So not going to happen.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 You seem to be focusing on mostly the physical aspects, but I am looking at what's inside. Let me ask you this. Do you imagine a woman that has a very strong, deep, interesting personality, that sets her apart from most other women would have such concerns?
basil67 Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 From what you're saying though is that no one will ever be good enough if there's always going to be someone more appealing, What's the point of being in a relationship with that mentality? Smackie is just talking logic. I am not a perfect 10. Hell, being 50 this year, I'm a far cry from a perfect 10! Yes, there are 9s and 10s out there and my husband will see them. They will probably turn his head. But the fact that I don't look like them doesn't mean that he doesn't love me or that I shouldn't be in a relationship with him. 1
Titanll Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 From what you're saying though is that no one will ever be good enough if there's always going to be someone more appealing, What's the point of being in a relationship with that mentality? It's her actual boyfriend not just someone she's going on dates with unless there's more to the situation that I don't know about. What smackie said is that unless OP blinds her SO, there will always be someone that she worries about him seeing. She further said that if the guy leaves her because of seeing some hotter chick then she really didn't lose that much to begin with. The bolded part is a good question. Why don't you pose that question to the one that started this thread? I wonder myself. OP is the one with a problem. Not the boyfriend or the personal trainer. 1
KatZee Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 If you've been together a long time, and you're so certain he would never cheat, then the problem lies in you and you alone. Not your boyfriend. Not this gorgeous physical trainer who has a nice ass and who wears leggings. You need to learn to love and accept yourself for who you are, stop comparing yourself to others, and boost your own self esteem. Reality is, there's always going to be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone with a better body. It's useless comparing yourself to these people. All you're doing is putting yourself down, and elevating a person you don't even know.
Author Pixie90 Posted May 19, 2017 Author Posted May 19, 2017 How do you know this? Bolded part in particular... He told me hes a butt guy
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I am not a perfect 10. Hell, being 50 this year, I'm a far cry from a perfect 10! Yes, there are 9s and 10s out there and my husband will see them. They will probably turn his head. But the fact that I don't look like them doesn't mean that he doesn't love me or that I shouldn't be in a relationship with him. I think you are generally right, men and women should not get hung up and excessively worried about all the highly attractive people there are in the world, BUT your husband presumably has not signed himself up to spending loads of one on one, sweaty, physical time, with Miss Perfect here who also just happens to be his type... 1
CptInsano Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 I think you are generally right, men and women should not get hung up and excessively worried about all the highly attractive people there are in the world, BUT your husband presumably has not signed himself up to spending loads of one on one, sweaty, physical time, with Miss Perfect here who also just happens to be his type... That is all nice and dandy, but chances are that Miss Perfect only wants his money as a client. If the OP would be worried that he spends too much on personal training, that's another question. I mean heck, my rather attractive primary care physician feels my prostate. Yet I'm under no illusion that she is interested in me. In this day and age a guy will interact with attract women, there is no way around it.
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 That is all nice and dandy, but chances are that Miss Perfect only wants his money as a client. Yes, she may only be interested in him as a client, she may be all loved up elsewhere, she may be a "man hater", she may be only interested in women... etc. etc. BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... Hmmm???
CptInsano Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 Yes, she may only be interested in him as a client, she may be all loved up elsewhere, she may be a "man hater", she may be only interested in women... etc. etc. BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... Hmmm??? In my limited experience the selection of ugly personal trainers is somewhat limited. They tend to be in very good shape overall, it just comes with the territory. I mean they represent a body image to aspire to, after all. 1
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 In my limited experience the selection of ugly personal trainers is somewhat limited. They tend to be in very good shape overall, it just comes with the territory. I mean they represent a body image to aspire to, after all. Maybe, but are there no male personal trainers?
PegNosePete Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 BUT out of all the trainers in the world he could have chosen, the OP's bf chose this beautiful fitness goddess... The OP was seeing her first. Presumably he started seeing her on the OP's recommendation. He didn't just choose her out of thin air... 3
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2017 Posted May 19, 2017 The OP was seeing her first. Presumably he started seeing her on the OP's recommendation. He didn't just choose her out of thin air... No, but if my bfs personal trainer was very, very, very attractive, I would not want to upset my bf, by signing up for some one to one training from the Adonis too... The bf is no doubt unfit and probably feeling a bit inferior, so a great idea to make him feel just that little bit worse... How to make a bf insecure, worried and jealous in one easy step... 1
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