collegegirl3 Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 This is probably a little long and dramatic. I feel like a high school girl right now and I have no idea why, so bare with me. we met on Tinder. He had been on it for a while and I was on it just to see what's out there. We talked for a little bit before he made it very obvious he wanted to meet up. Before we met he mentioned (although drunk) how he was wanting something serious, because there were too many girls in his life who wanted nothing but sex lately. The first date went really well. He pulled my chair out for me and held doors, etc. We went to a cool bar/restaurant. I texted him after to tell him thanks again, and he responded 'no problem. I'd take you out anytime. You're awesome'. Then came the second date which was to a movie. He held my hand during it, and he asked me when I would be available next so we could hang out again. The third date (3 dates in 5 days) he kissed me. A few days later he said he only waited that long because he didn't want to rush things. We were talking a decent amount on text/snap in between this all. I was at a party late the night of our third date (we hung out early in the day) and the guy I was with was trying to take advantage of me. I texted Kyle and he told me to come be with him instead. He met me somewhere to go to his house and I ended up sleeping over there in the same bed as him. At some point I asked him if his were intentions were just to have sex with me, and he was like 'umm no. Don't you think I would've tried by now if that's what I wanted lol'. Later he asked when he could see me again after that. We had been snapping and texting a decent amount, and he started calling me 'girlfriendy' names (babe, baby, baby girl, etc.) we also face timed or called a few nights for hours. We live far away now (we met on tinder when I was in my college town--now I'm home for the summer). He was eager and we settled on last Sunday night. I drove over that night and he wanted me to come inside and meet his parents, but I ended up not because it was nighttime. He had told them about me and he said his dad asked him if were dating. Anyways...after a while We were both drinking and we ended up having sex. It didn't last long because I decided I didn't really want to do it that early 'or random' and he said 'it's not random to me' or something like that. Previously though, while we were drinking, he said something about not wanting to be my first if I happened to be a virgin. I'm assuming the pressure might've been his reasoning but idk. But anyways after we were done (it was like 4 am) we fell asleep together cuddling. Woke up and we cuddled and kissed some. He had to go super early for a doctors appointment but told me to wait for him at his house. I did and he texted me while he was at the appointment and said he wanted to take me to lunch before I left. I drove home and he checked in on me on the way there to see if I made it. We haven't mentioned the sex at all. I'm just a little anxious to see if he still is interested because we had sex (TMI--it was almost 90% 'just the tip'). I feel like maybe he might've shifted to it being what he wanted (a fling vs something more serious). He face timed me on my way home to show me something his cat did that I would've found funny. A few hours later I texted him saying thanks for letting me stay. He responded definitely welcome an hour and a half later. I sent him two smileys and he didn't respond, then I said goodnight and he responded right after with 'night babe' and a kissy emoji. We have barely talked these past 2 days. I think it's possible that he hasn't because he's at the lake of the Ozarks...but he's been using Snapchat so I don't know. He hasn't sent any typical flirty texts/snaps, I can't tell if I'm overthinking this because he's kinda busy or if he lost interest because we slept together (barely and while super drunk). I'm so confused! people have told me I'm overthinking but I don't understand why he hasn't been talking to me like he was before. TL;DR: Is the guy still interested in me, or is he backing away because he got to have sex with me and is now only interested in me as a fling?
CptCodi Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 TL;DR: Is the guy still interested in me, or is he backing away because he got to have sex with me and is now only interested in me as a fling? Sometimes, you don't know how you really feel about someone until after you have sex with them. 1
Author collegegirl3 Posted May 17, 2017 Author Posted May 17, 2017 Sometimes, you don't know how you really feel about someone until after you have sex with them. He was being normal after it. It's just ever since he left for this trip he's been acting weird
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Until school rolls back around you are GUD -- geographically undesirable. Keep in touch but keep your summer options open. Come fall if you have been in touch over the summer it will be easier to reconnect but for now don't expect much
Kellens Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 I would probably feel like he was losing interest as well if I were you. I hate when they change the consistency of communication, it used to drive me crazy! How old are you guys? Maybe he is busy because he is on this trip and his mind isn't on you as much. When he comes back, if the communication is still lacking in comparison to before, I would say that he has lost interest. Sometime there is no real reason, even if you would have had "real sex" he might still have been acting the same way and that would have made it a bit worse for you. Just try to relax until he comes back and see what happens then. I hope it works out the way that you want it to!
Kamille Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 I will just say, as diplomatically as I can: the moment to have conversations about the status of the relationship isn't while you are "barely" having sex. Especially not 4am drunk barely sex. I don't think this guy is backing off because you had sex. I think he is backing off because you started having sex and then became very insecure. I can empathize. That thought process doesn't feel foreign to me. The only advice I have is to work on your self-confidence and sense of security in relationships. The ideal scenario is that, the next time you find yourself having sex, you WANT to have sex, feel secure and get to just enjoy it. As to this guy: give him time and see what happens. Focus on other things in the meantime. Be kind to yourself. Do things that make you happy. 2
kendahke Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 What were your intentions when you went to his house and had sex with him? What outcome were you expecting that didn't pan out?
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