olasp Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 For me as a woman, I would like the guy to ask me out and confirm the date - for the first two times. Before and during, of course I also initiate contact so he knows I'm interested for sure. For example. An excited guy asked me out for a date the next week for Friday or Saturday, but we didn't confirmed which day since he wasn't sure about his free time. Then I was the one who reconnected on Friday evening to ask about the next day. After the date, he wanted to see me the next day at his place. I reconnected that day, but didn't ask about coming to his place. Though he would ask if he still would like it and I didn't want to seem desperate. I don't know if I'm hard to get or if I've always dated with a feeling that a man wants to lead and they are getting what they want, which has been no problem before. I don't have an interest in him anymore, but I would like to know your analysis anyway. What do you think? Are men also playing hard to get like this? Do you read this as a bad self esteem (in love life), or maybe high self esteem (which it looks like he's having) as a sign that he requires high respect from a woman in a relationship? Does he want easier girls? Should I be different and pursue more? This is a case I've never experienced, so I'm a bit confused..
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 I never understood the concept of playing hard to get but I whole-heartedly support being hard to get. By that I mean people should have a life before they start dating. They have to have interests other than being with their SO. When you have a life -- a job, hobbies, other social commitments -- sometimes it does take some effort to schedule a date & that is OK if both people work together to find a date that works for both of them. Playing games . . . waiting to return phone calls; claiming to be busy when you are really sitting home solely to avoid looking to easy / available, that is a problem. 3
act00 Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 It doesn't sound like you have been playing hard to get. He has initiated the idea of meeting twice but not followed through. You brought it up once and waited to see if he would initiate the second time. To me, he seemed uninterested. Unclear if this is "hard to get" or not, but sorry, he needs to behave interested if he's interested. You don't want to appear desperate, but you also want him to be interested enough in you to make the time and the effort to make sure he sees you. He just seems uninterested, or maybe he has plenty of girls, he just waits for one to initiate. I'm glad you're done with him. 1
cominghome Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 Eh. Okay, I'm a multi-dater, and have encountered this many times. I always drop these types of men. The thing is, if a man suggests seeing you, but doesn't follow through, or isn't booking you ahead of time. Don't waste your time. It does not matter how cute, how available he is, how many text messages he sends... sometimes guys just want attention, to flirt, to ease his own stress from the daily grind. Men and women alike, know what to say to keep someone else's attention without committing to or having the intention of pursuing a potential relationship. If he's not following through, booking you ahead of time. Forget it. BOTTOMLINE: Invest only if he invests. In fact, let the best men rise to the top. It will be so obvious. Men who are interested in me will try to schedule with me a week in advance. Frankly, I have a lot of work, friends and family activities that if they didn't do that I wouldn't have time for them. They're the ones who are worth your time, worth your respect... and in doing so, you will not have to worry, stress, about hard-to-get, or their interest in you. You will know. They will make it clear as day. They will try to capture your attention. These are the men (and women) in the proper frame of mind in their life, ready to date and be vulnerable with a romantic partner. ---- 2
Author olasp Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 This is a good one: How to make the guy chase you, without playing hard to get.
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