NLNJ6200 Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 I have this ex that I dated for 4 months. From December 2015 to around the beginning of April 2016. We haven't talked to each other in a year. We didn't end on bad terms, just kind of parted ways due to our busy schedules at the time so we kinda didn't have time for each other so we suggested it was best to end it. We had lots of good sex and that's mainly what I miss. I currently have an amazing boyfriend so I don't really need to talk to this guy anymore but I do think about him sometimes. I think about him being with someone else and it makes me sad so I stop thinking about him then. Still like him? Nah. I just miss the good sex. Do you feel this way about your ex(es) or could you not care less about them and their current sex lives? Thanks for your opinions
preraph Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Feel free to fantasize about the good sex you had with him well up into your 80s. We get to keep our memories. Don't follow them on social media and upset yourself with jealousy. It's just not smart.
Popsicle Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 (edited) Typically I think about my recent ex until I find a new love interest, and then the minute I meet someone new, POOF, the ex instantly disappears out of my mind never to be thought of again. lol I'm actually thankful that I am able to do this, because it keeps me focused on who I'm with at the moment, but it's true that think about my ex until I meet someone new, which sucks, because pine-ing for someone you don't or can't or shouldn't have just totally blows. OP, are you single right now? Do you think that's the reason why you're still thinking about him? Edited May 17, 2017 by Popsicle
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 NLNJ6200 After some time of being apart I can usually call up the good memories of various past BFs without having to relive the heartbreak. When I'm single or in the past when a relationship was ending, I might wax nostalgic & miss an EX, but it was really more about missing the good times or some aspect of the good times & the companionship. Right now you have an LDR situation with a guy who is rude to you & ignores you. He is not an amazing BF; I read your other thread. You also haven't met, so there is no physical aspect to your relationship, which is why you may be feeling particularly nostalgic for the EX. Instead of dwelling on what you don't have -- the EX or a physical relationship with the gaming addict -- focus on changing your situation. Find a nice local guy to date. You will stop daydreaming about what was. 1
Gillys Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 I often fantasize about making love with my ex and I definitely miss the companionship. I've never been so close to another person and I've never opened up to anyone else that much. Sadly, my ex changed completely when she started dating someone else immediately after me (and simultaneously strung me along) so I'm sure whatever friendship we had before the relationship and during can't be repaired. We haven't spoken in 6 months and I think we'll probably never speak again, which sometimes makes me happy and others days depresses the hell out of me. 2
Author NLNJ6200 Posted May 17, 2017 Author Posted May 17, 2017 NLNJ6200 After some time of being apart I can usually call up the good memories of various past BFs without having to relive the heartbreak. When I'm single or in the past when a relationship was ending, I might wax nostalgic & miss an EX, but it was really more about missing the good times or some aspect of the good times & the companionship. Right now you have an LDR situation with a guy who is rude to you & ignores you. He is not an amazing BF; I read your other thread. You also haven't met, so there is no physical aspect to your relationship, which is why you may be feeling particularly nostalgic for the EX. Instead of dwelling on what you don't have -- the EX or a physical relationship with the gaming addict -- focus on changing your situation. Find a nice local guy to date. You will stop daydreaming about what was. I had a serious talk with him about his gaming and he has promised me this time that he will change. Instead of gaming, he lied in bed on video chat with me and we talked about everything happening in our lives and then we started watching YouTube together. We did this for hours, he didn't touch his games once. I'm gonna give him another chance to change his behavior. He's given me chances in the past when he found out I was talking to people in the beginning of our dating and that was very hard for him to forgive but he did it. I'm lucky he did forgive that. As for my reason of dating online, my family won't let me date anyone irl until I turn 18. They won't even let me visit him until then. I have nobody within walking distance as I live in a town where there is not any gay guys at all. Since I was homeschooled, I couldn't go to public high school to find anyone either. I don't drive yet so I can't go to towns that do have a better population. Online is really my only option as of now. Yes I know it may sound silly to consider them "exes" or "boyfriends" since I never met them but right now this is the only real thing to me until I get of legal age. Video chat sex is the only kind of sex I'll be getting until then. The reason why I come on here for advice is because these relationships are very real to me. Even if it is just online, you do develop an attachment to someone if you talk to them everyday. The sex stuff just adds to the attachment and makes you grow even closer. Online relationships are hard but for now, I'm stuck with them. Thanks to my conservative family who don't even fully accept my sexuality. They've said "If your bf was a girl, we'd let you see her tomorrow." Which makes absolutely no sense but hey, that's my family for you. Ughhh. Can't wait until I get away from them. I cannot stand being couped up in this tiny apartment.
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