wmacbride Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 If you are married, is this your first marriage/ long term live in relationship? If so, what do you feel has allowed you to remain together?
GunslingerRoland Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 If you are married, is this your first marriage/ long term live in relationship? If so, what do you feel has allowed you to remain together? This is my first relationship really by any stretch of the word. I don't think there is one single thing that has allowed us to remain together. A combination of things, like at least for me choosing the right partner for the right reasons to begin with. Realistic expectations, lots of patience, accepting families, and a commitment to make our family work no matter what happens. 4
understand50 Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 If you are married, is this your first marriage/ long term live in relationship? If so, what do you feel has allowed you to remain together? This is my first marriage. What has allowed us to remain together? love, stubbornness, and lots of sex. 5
Author wmacbride Posted May 17, 2017 Author Posted May 17, 2017 This is my first marriage. What has allowed us to remain together? love, stubbornness, and lots of sex. I get the stubbornness part. It sometimes feels like we're in a real minority. No one I know is still on their first marriage. We've been married about 20 years now, and it has sure has its ups and downs. I'm not one who believes in "soul mates", we really are a great match to one another.
understand50 Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 I get the stubbornness part. It sometimes feels like we're in a real minority. No one I know is still on their first marriage. We've been married about 20 years now, and it has sure has its ups and downs. I'm not one who believes in "soul mates", we really are a great match to one another. Add to the fact, that we got married really early, I was 18 she 20, We started dating when I was 16, in HS and she collage, and lastly had our first child at 20 she 22, and I do feel we are fugitives from the law of averages. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 this is my first & hopefully only marriage. It's held together by love, laughter, mutual respect, hard work, the willingness to fight fair and some generalized silliness. I have had serious LTRs. I lived with a guy for 10+ years. We were driven apart when our goals for the future conflicted. I eventually had to deal with the fact that he meant it when he said he "didn't believe in marriage." 2
mikeylo Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Stubbornness can actually make it work. Never thought it that way! Maybe some people call it determination , will and faith ? 4
RedBaron2765 Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 My first marriage, her second. I'm thinking her ex had the right idea divorcing her - I like it better when she's not around and it's just the kids and me.
GorillaTheater Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Stubbornness can actually make it work. Never thought it that way! Maybe some people call it determination , will and faith ? Stubbornness has definitely been a big part of my marriage staying together for 33 years. That, and a knack for cracking each other up, and not hating each other at the same time. 3
mercy Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 God, faith. Forgiveness, mercy. We are complete opposites so him having a man cave helps a lot. Plus we don't take each other so seriously and we can laugh at ourselves. But the biggest thing is I just adore him. And another thing it took me years to train him and I'm not starting back to zero with another. 2
Author wmacbride Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 Add to the fact, that we got married really early, I was 18 she 20, We started dating when I was 16, in HS and she collage, and lastly had our first child at 20 she 22, and I do feel we are fugitives from the law of averages. wow. we are similar in that we are "outliers" . We met in a bar ( that's not the outlier part) and got engaged, for all intents and purposes, a day or two later.
Author wmacbride Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 My first marriage, her second. I'm thinking her ex had the right idea divorcing her - I like it better when she's not around and it's just the kids and me. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you. 1
Author wmacbride Posted May 18, 2017 Author Posted May 18, 2017 I get the having fun part so much. We always have a good time, everywhere we go. What make sit even better is a lot of what we are laughing at is private, inside jokes no one else would get. We like to do a lot of the same things, but not everything. He has what he calls his "hobby room", where he paints, plays his guitar, etc., and I write or work out in the garden. We've also been through a lot together, and that can really bind you. Like I said above, I don't believe in "soul mates" , but there are times when it pops into my mind again that we belong together.
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