Philbobaggings Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 I'm a little concerned about my feelings or lack of them at the minute. Long story short me and my ex have these fall outs, e split up, then it varies on time scale but get back together. This has been going on for roughly 2 and half years. So this has happened again. Now the usual routine is I'm miserable and cry, however this time not so much. I'm worried because I feel like I might not be handling well, like I'm having this lack of emotion because I think it's not the end and we'll be back on. But at the same time, I don't care if we don't. It worries me because if I'm not dealing with it now, then it might hit me later on, and if he does want to get back together when he does get in touch and I'm feeling the pain then I'm probably going to go running back and then it's going to be the same old routine in 6 months time. Hope this makes sense.
preraph Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 Well, it might not be the end, but if it is, you'll have a reaction eventually.
Author Philbobaggings Posted May 16, 2017 Author Posted May 16, 2017 That's what's I'm worried about. However I also think that maybe I'm over it. Which is daft because we broke up Friday. It was a very toxic relationship if I'm honest. And since Friday I've realised I didn't like who I was when I was with him. But I can sit here and say it was a dead end relationship and it never would of gone anywhere without feeling sad or crying. I can recall good memories and feel no sadness and same with the bad. I cried more when we got back together last time than I have now?? Does every break up have to be tears and dwelling or do sometimes we just move on? Sorry for the bombardment of questions but I'm a strong believer of feeling your emotions and experiencing them to overcome them, but I'm getting nothing.
Author Philbobaggings Posted May 16, 2017 Author Posted May 16, 2017 That sits well with me what you said. "when you're done, you're done" I'm not layed here thinking of what ifs as in if we didn't split. I think of why it would never work. And I'm ok. Maybe I should give myself more credit, not worrying about been OK but been happy about been OK.
Ronni_W Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 Now the usual routine is I'm miserable and cry, however this time not so much. I'm worried because I feel like I might not be handling well, Or maybe it's just that your psyche has gotten tired and bored with the 'same old, same old' drama and is ready to get off that cycle permanently and once and for all? When you're done, you're done...you don't need to have any emotional outburst or reactivity whatsoever. There's nothing wrong with it if you don't. Does every break up have to be tears and dwelling or do sometimes we just move on? No, it doesn't; and especially not when you already know that it was a toxic relationship. In cases as you've experienced, it's that you actually 'checked out' a long time ago and this is just the outer finishing touches being put to things. (I've had a similar situation where, on the inside, it had been going south for a long time, so the actual break-up was just more of a huge relief.) That sits well with me what you said. "when you're done, you're done" Maybe I should give myself more credit, not worrying about been OK but been happy about been OK. Yes...that is exactly right. . You ARE OK, and you're out of a toxic relationship. Now you can just go ahead and enjoy the rest of your life. 1
mightycpa Posted May 17, 2017 Posted May 17, 2017 Sometimes the lack of a genuine emotional reaction can be disconcerting. What may be telling is if you had this same lack of engagement before the breakup. Maybe you're done, and you're going through that period of time where you're coming to terms with it. Stuff like you don't initiate sex, but you won't turn it down. You won't say "I love you" but you'll say "I love you too" You start to feel like you're being deceitful with displays of affection, touch. You're not out, but you're not in, either. Most people go through that and think that something is wrong with them. They WANT to feel something, anything, but they can't even manage anger. They are beyond caring. Is that you? Deep down inside, you know if that's you. You may not want to admit it yet.
Author Philbobaggings Posted May 17, 2017 Author Posted May 17, 2017 I don't think so. Near the end we had alot of massive arguments but the in between when we weren't I was different but more if I didn't wake up to a morning text from him I wouldn't be devastated, I'd just get up and get ready. Like I went from a person who would start my day with any sort of interaction with him and if not feeling uneasy to someone who if I did have an interaction with him fine but if I didn't that's fine too. Like we we're just plodding along really.
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