Schizophrenic Girlfriend Seperation

[Rosey87]

Hello everyone, I'm gonna try and tell my story. My girlfriend and I had been together for three years. We lived together for a year before all this crap started. Basically, it's like this: I need some advice.

We were living together and then her dad bought us a house. They are very well off. He owns a business and her mother is the vice president of a Fortune 500 Company. We were happy. We've had problems of course like every couple. My anger is palpable though. The slightest thing can set me off. But anyways, he bought us this house. We moved in but I didn't know that her sisters were going to be living with us as well. She has two other sisters. Her one sister moved her boyfriend in as well. I dislike this guy, very, very much. He made my life so hellish. The guy is 22 and leaves his dishes everywhere, invites his friends over who don't leave till 12 midnight, screams to talk and sells drugs. I'm in recovery. I had a nasty heroin and cocaine problem but I'm clean and have been for two years. My girlfriend stuck by me through all of that as well. She helped me and in a way, saved my life. I went to jail for four months and went to a state funded rehab. That experience has helped me everyday. She never left when everyone said she should. I love her for that. My girlfriend smokes marijuana. I don't find it bad but when we moved to this house with all this partying and drug behavior going on, it got me very aggravated. This went on every single day. Not one night or moment when I couldn't have a moment to myself or with her.

She went to Paris with her family for vacation during the first week of March, which left me with the jackass and his friends. I'd come home from work and I went crazy. He and his friends said something to me and something snapped inside me. I didn't yell at them. Instead I went to my phone, selected the Facebook Messenger app and berated my girlfriend. I told her I was going to kill her family by chopping off their heads and be put in jail with a smile on my face. I said I hated her and everyone who lived in the house. That all they did was get high all the time. I wanted to make her cry and hurt her. I succeeded, but not in the way that worked for me. The next day she told me her sisters had seen the messages and wanted me out of the house. I tried to bargain to no avail. I left. I habe been gone for almost a month now. While she was still in Paris we talked. We talked everyday. We told each other that everything got screwed up and she should've been more thoughtful of what had happened. We told each other we loved each other all the time. When she got home it was good. We talked and everyone said they wanted to give me a second chance. That is until the drug dealing jackass said that he didn't want me back. That he would move if I came back. She called me immediately and told me frantically and sobbing that she loved me so much and that she misses me. I felt so hurt by all of this I told her, "Maybe this is how it's supposed to be." Then we broke up. Silence. I haven't talked to her since that night. Last thing she texted me was, I love you, Good luck, Find me in the future and I'll be waiting. I haven't texted her since last week. Trying to let her think. What should I do? Is there hope for me. Any reply is greatly appreciated and if you have questions, I'll try to answer. Thank you.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Rosey87

[Rosey87]

Hello everyone, I'm gonna try and tell my story. My girlfriend and I had been together for three years. We lived together for a year before all this crap started. Basically, it's like this: I need some advice.

We were living together and then her dad bought us a house. They are very well off. He owns a business and her mother is the vice president of a Fortune 500 Company. We were happy. We've had problems of course like every couple. My anger is palpable though. The slightest thing can set me off. But anyways, he bought us this house. We moved in but I didn't know that her sisters were going to be living with us as well. She has two other sisters. Her one sister moved her boyfriend in as well. I dislike this guy, very, very much. He made my life so hellish. The guy is 22 and leaves his dishes everywhere, invites his friends over who don't leave till 12 midnight, screams to talk and sells drugs. I'm in recovery. I had a nasty heroin and cocaine problem but I'm clean and have been for two years. My girlfriend stuck by me through all of that as well. She helped me and in a way, saved my life. I went to jail for four months and went to a state funded rehab. That experience has helped me everyday. She never left when everyone said she should. I love her for that. My girlfriend smokes marijuana. I don't find it bad but when we moved to this house with all this partying and drug behavior going on, it got me very aggravated. This went on every single day. Not one night or moment when I couldn't have a moment to myself or with her.

She went to Paris with her family for vacation during the first week of March, which left me with the jackass and his friends. I'd come home from work and I went crazy. He and his friends said something to me and something snapped inside me. I didn't yell at them. Instead I went to my phone, selected the Facebook Messenger app and berated my girlfriend. I told her I was going to kill her family by chopping off their heads and be put in jail with a smile on my face. I said I hated her and everyone who lived in the house. That all they did was get high all the time. I wanted to make her cry and hurt her. I succeeded, but not in the way that worked for me. The next day she told me her sisters had seen the messages and wanted me out of the house. I tried to bargain to no avail. I left. I habe been gone for almost a month now. While she was still in Paris we talked. We talked everyday. We told each other that everything got screwed up and she should've been more thoughtful of what had happened. We told each other we loved each other all the time. When she got home it was good. We talked and everyone said they wanted to give me a second chance. That is until the drug dealing jackass said that he didn't want me back. That he would move if I came back. She called me immediately and told me frantically and sobbing that she loved me so much and that she misses me. I felt so hurt by all of this I told her, "Maybe this is how it's supposed to be." Then we broke up. Silence. I haven't talked to her since that night. Last thing she texted me was, I love you, Good luck, Find me in the future and I'll be waiting. I haven't texted her since last week. Trying to let her think. What should I do? Is there hope for me. Any reply is greatly appreciated and if you have questions, I'll try to answer. Thank you.

[Rosey87]

Bump to the top

[todreaminblue]

her loyalty should lie with you for em the solution would hav ebeen for her to move out and you and her find a place together....i hear you...her dad bought her the place ...so either she sell it or her sisters and the jackasses pay rent......that would have made it possible for you guys to be together...

 

that is a solution i could have seen working.....the rent she coudl have got from that place could have also paid...your rent with her somewhere else or part pay and you chip in as well...........they are not her children......and this is what i would do if it were me in her situation...i would move out...... for me its simple......maybe because whenever there has been problems.....it is me who goes....to save any hardship on others...it works.....fro me ...i feel no guilt and i look forward to the freedom of knowing ....i will be ok wherever i am.....others migth not be...my mum kicked me out when my sister and i had an argument my mum sided with my sister and i was asked to leave.....it was similarly over her drug use.....so my five kids and i moved out..it was crowded which i believe also didnt help.....

 

 

it was the best thing for all of us...i now i have my own home again a similar situation though with people who use drugs...they are everywhere arent they........and i dont do drugs..........if i were to meet a guy ...i would not move him in this home..especially fi he was a recovering addict.......i would move on with him.....thats what i do ......my girls are now almost all of age ..my youngest is this year...and my life would have focus on the guy i was with.

 

 

when i was in a relationship with a man a couple of years ago ...i spent a lot of time at his mums place....he lived with his mother and she liked me alot so i was welcome there.......we could spend time together one on one there.....he talked about renovating and fixing up the house he actually owned and built himself...and putting in a toilet etc.....for us to eventually live in and my dreaming skills of vegetable gardens and sustainable farming and all these other things came into play...lol...but..he had a drug problem and i found the lifestyle not concurrent with happiness.....for me and i let him go and he let me go..we remianed friends until he wetn otuback and is now in goal........i want a simple life..

 

and say if our relationship had worked out fro a while adn we got married....if we ever would have split because i feel we would have anyway.....i would have moved on..i woudl nto stay in that house o fhis...for it was his house........

 

anyway i think this girl....didnt have you as a priority honestly and for any true relationship to work its what you need good priorities in regards to your partner and your future....you must be able to stadn together......too much drama for you to live there...she shoul dhave if you were important to her...moved out.....or kicked everyone out which from experience is hard to do ...i would rather move out myself...my family is aware i would move........my girls would be able to choose whether to come with or stay..i would hope the guy i was with would want this.....at least to have my girls sleep over....and have a slumber party with me ...and family nights with movies and popcorn........and my grand kids to stay over too and spend time doing things as a family unit because the guy i was with would be head of my house wherever i was...i would hope we could do family holidays and weekends camping too...church together with the grand kids and my girls if they come......all dreams of mine....

 

 

 

and a guy who accepts i am carer to my mentally impaired son and take on a fatherly/friend role...because he honestly doesnt have that role model in his life......i almost need a n iron man..lol..ahem.....i dream about this stuff...........

 

the relationship you guys had...wasnt important enough to her to put you first...my family would accept a man i was with and not ask me to kick him out ..they wouldnt dare.i am theworlds biggest softy ..but not in defense of my guy i am with...they wouldnt ever do it.......i would ask them to fall in line he aint going anywhere or to leave on the spot....that is how i feel about your situation..the answer for me to what she should have done if she truly cared for you....is obvious....you need to move on..deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited April 4, 2017 by todreaminblue

[Rosey87]

Thank you, Deb. I feel like moving on more and more each and every single day. Feel like she has forgotten about me, like I've been left behind. She didn't try to tell anyone about my feelings my thoughts because I've always been a very quiet person. I think she cares more about getting high. Every day since Fall of 2016 she wasted money on weed. Then she tells me we should've bought more gifts for each other. I'm so mad. I almost think she is finding enjoyment outof this. I see them sitting at my table talking about me. I think this is what I needed to hear. Thank you again Deb.

[mightycpa]

I told her I was going to kill her family by chopping off their heads and be put in jail with a smile on my face....The next day she told me her sisters had seen the messages and wanted me out of the house....Then we broke up....What should I do?

Four things. One, you need to learn how to take out your anger only on those who deserve it. Two, your Charlie Manson threat was way over the top, and completely disproportionate to the catalyst. Three, leave your ex-girlfriend alone. You snapped, and the next thing you know, people are wondering if you're going to follow through. Count your lucky stars you're not in legal trouble right now. Four. Go get some help to find the wellspring for your intolerant rage.

[Rosey87]

Hey Cpa, I understand what you're saying. I have been seeing a psych for this incident. Both my ex and I wish I had gone sooner. We have not spoken at all. I'm giving her the time she said she wants to think and have space. I know what I did was wrong but she knows everything got acrewed up to. We're both taking accountability and acceptance for what went wrong.

[Rosey87]

Hey everyone. So, my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. It was a mutual decision but we were both crying on the phone when we did it. I haven't seen her in over a month. She was in Parisfor vacation and a lot of crap happened with her side of the family making me leave our house. I think it's certain members of her family that told her to leave me. They never liked me except her mom and dad.

She will not speak to me whatsoever. Not even on the phone. She keeps telling me it's over and to forget about her. We were together for three years and the whole time she was on vacation she told me she loved me and wanted to work things out. As soon as she got back to her family, I was gone that very same day. She'll only talk to me in texts and briefly at that. It seems like somebody else is doing the talking for her. I think this is a reason why I'm so flustered. This isn't her. I feel like she misses me and wants to talk, but her family (her sisters) wants me gone. We had our ups and downs but she says we had more bad times than good and I know that's a load of crap. I'm getting bent out of shape because you would think that for three years and this was a very minor misunderstanding that set off these events added on with all the actual crap that we dealt with and came up on top of it all, don't you think that she would want to reconcile and try again. This is our first break up. We don't have a pattern or anything like this in our relationship. I'm too the point where I feel I never really mattered if she doesn't want to work things out or even try to converse with me. I know our break up is still fresh but how long till she misses me and if ever at that fact because if **** is going into her mind from a third party, what chance do we actually have at saving our love? She looks awful too. She dyed her hair green and looks so run down from her new profile picture on Facebook. She honestly looks drugged up. Let me know. Any feedback would be much appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

If after 3 years & living together she won't even talk to you on the phone, I think there is little chance of reconciliation. You can't fix anything if you don't talk.

[ExpatInItaly]

Why didn't her sisters want her to be with you?

 

And I agree with d0nnivain, there is no chance for reconciliation right now if she refuses to speak to you.

[Rosey87]

I honestly do not know why they dislike me. I wholeheartedly agree with the talking aspect. We won't fix anything. I know if we do we can figure this out but, right now I think I have to let her wait to let the good memories show up.

[Rosey87]

Hey everyone, I've posted on here a couple times with no real avail to my situation. Hopefully now I can get some advice.

 

My ex and I broke up last month. We had a house, lived together and were together for 3 years. She won't talk to me. Only text. But, it's only when I pester the hell out of her. I keep trying no contact and continuously shoot myself in the foot.

 

We were still on Facebook until I wrote a pretty damaging post and she blocked me. I'm the master of self-sabotage. I need to know how much success there has been with no contact. Been scouring the internet for success stories and can't seem to find any that give me any hope. What should my process be? How long until the good memories start flooding back to her? We both were in a texting war saying how we wanted children and marriage but she's done for now. It sounds good but I don't know what to do.

 

She really hasn't made any attempt to give me any of my stuff from our house. With my dad right now, yipppppeee. Is that a sign she's hoping for me to come back?

For three years and only a mild argument. What should I do? Thanks.

[Rosey87]

Hey guys, new here on this thread somewhat unfortunately. I've posted before but I'm hoping to get some real advice.

 

My girlfriend or ex I should now say, hurts to even type that, and I broke up after three years together. We lived together and it was great. We moved into a house with her sisters and her sisters drug dealing boyfriend and everything got messed up. Long story short, I couldn't take it and took my anher out on the wrong person. She told me to leave the house while she was on vacation, it was just me and the sisters boyfriend at that time, and I did.

 

We talked about patching things up and getting the drugs out of the house. She smokes pot but it never bothered me when it was just her. Anywho, when she got back the boyfriend didn't want me back. We got mad and sad at each other and broke up. Now it's a living hell. I keep shooting myself in the foot. I want to reconcile and she doesn't want to talk.

 

What should I do? She keeps telling me we had way more bad times than good. That's bull. We had bad times when we got to that house. I couldn't take it and isolated myself from everyone and everything. She says, she doesn't know what she wants. She'll only talk to me in texts. No calls. Every time I start no contact I get pissed. Why isn't she feeling this? I've seen her pictures recently and she looks unhealthy. She's skinny but, her face is sinking in. I wanted to talk and she wouldn't so I wrote something on her Facebook about using me and enjoying the drug house. Master of self-sabotage.

 

So anyway, what I can gauge from her texts is, she is really hurt. But, I think she believes I hurt her. It sucks. I want to now how to do no contact right. If there is a trick to it and if it actually is successful. She has made no attempt to give me back my stuff either. It's all still at the house. Is that a good sign. I'm in Cleveland and she is in Toledo. She said, she hates what she's become and how much I gave to him. We fought over text and we both said that we wanted a future and children together. How do I do this? Does she really hate me? From any experience that you have, I would greatly appreciate it. I don't want to give up. I have an intuition that everything will be good when we talk. I don't want to live in that house again. I want us to get a new place. Help me out. Thanks.

[whatnot]

If she wants to live in a dope man's house more than she wants to live with you, there's not a lot you can do about it.

 

You just don't have much in common with these people. She enjoys the company of people who enjoys the same things as she does (drugs) more than she wants a relationship with you. (at the moment)

 

Reasoning with people who do drugs...good luck with that. More than not, it's their number one love....regardless of whether they admit it or not.

 

Stop playing games with NC. You're using it for manipulation rather than for healthier reasons. I really don't know that you're there yet. You just need to just get your stuff. When you go get your stuff, ask her where she wants to live. Don't let talk and games stand in the way of your taking action.

 

What's she got to offer besides living with her clan and doing drugs? She's making her choices. You cannot change her.

Edited April 16, 2017 by whatnot

[d0nnivain]

When you get seriously involved with someone it's about their family too. Here your GF's package deal comes with her sister & the drug dealer. Before you do anything else read up on a concept called constructive possession. Do you really want to get a felony conviction & go to jail after a late night police raid on your home when the cops decide to bust this guy to get to his supplier? Do you want to risk the supplier getting pissed off & shooting up your house trying to kill this frig dealer?

 

 

Your GF chose drugs over you. Think about that.

 

 

Your GF is unwilling to think about the good times & is focused on the bad. It's what she needs to do to end things.

 

 

I'm also not sure why she was away on vacation without you, leaving you home with the drug dealing BF

 

 

Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet, perhaps literally.

[Rosey87]

Hey guys, I get what you're both saying. She's choosing party time over me. That's evident enough. Do you have any other insight or ideas that I can go about this? Thank you.

[Hoosfoos]

Do you have any other insight or ideas that I can go about this? Thank you.

 

Walk away and block her on everything.

[Rosey87]

Sounds like a plan. Thank you. Hopefully she comes to the realization that the way she's living is no kind of life and not productive.

[Sweetfish]

Hey guys, I get what you're both saying. She's choosing party time over me. That's evident enough. Do you have any other insight or ideas that I can go about this? Thank you.

 

 

there is no other insight... plan on raising a kid in that drug infested house. Marriage? Long term future?

[Rosey87]

We've talked about marriage of course. I was going to get a ring this summer. Don't know now. Guess we'll wait and see.

[TheyCallMeOx]

Do the only thing you can do: get your stuff, and move on. Drop any hope. If she wanted to get back together, she'd just say so: otherwise, you're shooting yourself in the foot by waiting for probably nothing. Move on. Learn what went wrong with the relationship. Learn how you can be better in your next. You can do it.

[d0nnivain]

We've talked about marriage of course. I was going to get a ring this summer. Don't know now. Guess we'll wait and see.

 

 

What do you mean you don't know now? Of course you know. NO ring, No proposal. This relationship has to be over.

[Rosey87]

Hey everyone, well, my situation has just went from totally depressing for me to absolutely, "what in the hell?". My ex is now claiming that I raped her, but wait it gets better, so did all of my friends.

 

One of my buddies called me saying that she had messaged him saying, "I know what you did." He had no idea what was coming next, "You and so and so raped me."

He retorted back by saying, "Okay, so we do that, you continue to live with him and then you move with him again? I'm blocking you."

 

My friend was obviously upset so I immediately called her dad. He told me that she is taking the break up and seperation really, really badly. He's trying to get her to go see a psychiatrist but won't go. She lives in a house where they do drugs all day long I finally told him. I was keeping that from her for her sake but clearly, she's not in her right mind. He told me she has been saying that, I abused her and cut her off from everyone including her family and he told me, "She is not grounded in reality and has been saying stuff that I know is not true."

 

I told him that I loved her and I'm not mad at her, but she needs help, badly. He agreed.

 

Her sister has been putting these ideas in her head since we had our last fight as a couple. Real huge C word that rhymes with hunt. I literally dislike her a lot because she's been feeding her this crap since we were together and once she got her to break up, I'm a complete monster. I've done all of these things when her mom and dad said I haven't and even are on my side.

 

My other friend called me and said that she said the same thing to him and accused him as well of the R word. I believe my friends are starting to see what I've been going through since I started living with her sisters. Pure hell on Earth. Add in some illegal substances and an impressionable mind and you got wet clay to mold at your behest.

 

Is there anything I should do? Should I get a lawyer? I really don't want to do something legally with her. I do still love and care for her but this is out of control.

 

I hope you enjoyed this laugh and you saying to yourself, "I'm glad I'm not this guy." Lol.

[ExpatInItaly]

If you have any sense, you need to stay the hell away from her.

 

Your friend was very foolish to have responded to her rape accusation, especially in writing; tell all of them to not accept her calls and to block her. They don't seem to understand the gravity of what these allegations could entail.

 

If she comes after you with an allegation like that, you would to would be very foolish not to seek legal counsel. You don't know what that type of accusation can do to you and how serious the damage can be, even if it's baseless.

 

Don't play with fire by getting any more involved with her. It's over and you need to protect yourself now.

[EmilyJane]

Yes get a lawyer.

 

To protect you in case and give you advice.

 

Because even though I doubt this would ever get anywhere near court, the mere suspicion of any truth in it can ruin you socially and professionally.

 

You sound young so do also talk to your parents.

 

Cease all communication with her and to her family members and close associates, document/record every communication from them from this point forward.

 

Do not under any circumstance seek contact with her.