Still thinking about my last year crush?

[Miko92]

Hi everyone,

 

I'd like to have some advice on my situation because I don't know how to think about itanymore, I don't even know if I should!

 

Last year I was working in a big company and I got promoted to a new team. One of my new coordinator was a girl lets name her Alex. We started to work together in a small open space with our team (5 people) and since I'm a bit reserved, I didn't talk too much but I was always listening and I was very impressed how confident she was. When we were talking it was cool but nothing exciting. But I didn't really care about her. And one day we bumped into each other while she was leaving and it hit me, out of the blue. I found her actually very pretty. I also knew she was single because she talked about it in the office sometimes, and she said it was her choice. I felt like I was starting to be interested in her but for me she was way out of my league because I thought she was way older than me. But actually she's not. She's now 29 and I'm 27.

 

But I thought why not trying to play a little bit? So I started to look at her with a kind of seductive smile and everything, not being insistant at all but just to see hpw it goes. It was 3 weeks/a month after I started working with her.

 

And one day I was walking in a big open space area and she was sitting here with someone, working, I had my glasses on for the first time here and I was walking towards her direction to go to the printer. And she saw me and when she noticed me, she stared at me, smiling. When I was next to her I said "What?", she said "I've never seen with you with glasses before". We were totally flirting at this point, our looks, our smiles, everything was pretty obvious. At the end I asked her if I look better with or without glasses, she smiled and said "both!" then she added "you.. you look great!". I smiled and I left. At the end of the day, I was leaving, not her, but when I stood up to leave she started to talk to me, asking what I'll do after this project, and the conversation went on, she followed me to the kitchen and I tried to throw some compliments to see what happens and she actually started to compliment me more than I was. She said that even if I'm quiet in my corner, she noticed that I was always listening and that I was learning very fast blah blah "you can tell". It was really cool. I managed to look at her in the eyes during the whole conversation but she couldn't.

 

The week after, we were the only one staying at night and for the first time we finished and the same time. So we were leaving together and I was about to say goodbye because I take the subway and she has a car, when she asked me: "where do you live?" I told her and she said come, I'll drive you home. I tried to say no but she insisted and I was too happy! During the ride we were talking and laughing and complimenting each other. Then she said it: "I think I didn't take the shortest way." (I've noticed it) I said "Nope! But it's ok we're going through a nice area. And then, OUT OF THE BLUE, she said: "Yeah, at least we can spot/look for our future house." She said that looking at me and smiling. I was so surprised, I just said something like "yeah yeah of course.." and she added: "well, it would be our summer house 'cause no one wants to spend the winter here right?" ... Me: "Yeah yeah of course..." I was speechless! Then we talked about other places to have a house around the world. It was very cool and funny but I didn't know what to think about it at all. Then we were close to my place and I told her to stop here so she can grab the highway easier. She insisted to drop me in front my door but I said it's fine you already did too much blah blah. And the goodbye session, Gosh, it felt like forever. We were smiling and looking at each other, "Well...." "Thank you.....". It was awkward in a good way. But I finally left without doing anything. I just texted her after to say thank you again and she replied that it was cool to talk a little bit outside work because it's too serious sometimes.

 

Two days after she asked me in the office where I wanted to go after the project, trying to convince me to go on the project she'll be on but I said that I didn't know yet! So Alex said: "You know we have a spot for you in that project if you wanna come..." *smile look everything*. I said: "Well yes but.... no nothing.." I wanted to tell her that I didn't want her to be my coord because she's kind of my """"superior"""" in there but I just stopped in the middle of the sentence. And she said: "Ohh you're bad!!". I raised my shoulder and smiled. She added "YOU are full of secrets, and I intend to discover them!" I was still smiling. She added: "We're gonna have a house together remember? Multiple houses! So I'll have time to find out all your secrets haha" 5 minutes later she left for the weekend.

 

That was the big part of the story because the week after she started to ignore me. When she camein the office she didn't even say hello to me or anything. We were chatting sometimes during work on our computer messenger thing, it was better but still. I was transparent. And I noticed that she was acting like this only with me. She was normal with everyone, nice and always smiling. I knew she was nervous because it was the end of our project and she has a hard time handling stress but it was really weird. When we were only together it was awkward. I didn't know how to act.

 

When she moved to the other project, I started to follow her on Instragram but didn't add her of FB (Everyone added me in my team except her). An hour later she followed me back and added me on FB. The day after, we had lunch with our ex team and she didn't even say hello to me before she had to because she bumped into me. But everytime we were in a crowded place, I kept noticing her looking at me and turning her eyes away when we saw each other.

 

For our wrap party it was the same. We were always in our line of sight but she was looking away after looking at me. I was with some friends when she came with one of hers. The friend was grabing something his bag next to me. Alex sat for 5 seconds saying: "Heeey you..". I didn't see her coming but my friend did and she told me that she was definitely not comfortable when she saw me. Later, she put her beer in a middle of my table to go dancing or something whereas she had so many more tables closer to her. My friends were like, why did she do that?

 

Then she left witth a guy and I don't know what they did.. I was very frustrated..

 

I tried to ignore her after that, we weren't working together but we saw each other in the common area of the office but I couldn't really, I'm too polite maybe. But she was always looking down when she saw me and everything.

 

Just one day, she came while I was in the big open space area working with my supervisor (her ex supervisor) when she saw us and decided out of nowhere to come just to say hello! But she was talking to my sup and the other person next to me.

 

I sent her a message one day via our company messenger chat just to try to get some news and see if we can have a talk. She asked me if she wanted me to come in the office? But it's the office with 5 people and her ex colleagues so no I didn't want that so I said: "No it's fine I just wanted to talk to you a little bit."

 

Another time I told her I had something that belongs to her (it was her mug that was in our office I dont know why), she asked me: "What is itttt??" I didn't reply right away and 5 minutes later she was in my office, no one was here so she sat next to me and we started talking. But then my supervisor came and ruined everything haha. I asked her on the chat if she has 5 minutes before leaving so we could talk. She was still here but didn't reply and left without saying anything.

 

I left the company because of some issues and she didn't even send me a message.. I came back to have lunch with some friends and when she saw me on the street from her office she waved her hand with a big smile saying hello.

 

I messaged her on FB a week after to see if she wanted to go grab a coffee this weekend because I was going to be around her place for some stuff, she read it right away but never replied.

 

6 months later, in February, I wished her a happy birthday and hope everything was fine. She replied to me asking how I was doing, what I've been up to??? I replied 2 days after but since then, she haven't opened my message yet. Seriously?!!

 

I'm ok I'm not thinking about her that much but sometimes I do and I feel like I really liked her back in the days, it was the first girl I was interested in after my break up 5 years ago and I feel like I'm missing something really good and I don't understand what happened, if she was just playing around or what but she was acting like that only with me.. A lot of guys were interested in her in that company and she knew it and didn't act awkward like that with them. It's weird.

 

What do you think about all that? It's a very long post I'm sorry but I didn't know how to summarize it more..

 

Thanks a lot!