Goulash Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Hello everyone! I'm a 19 years old (recovering from shyness, but still very quiet) male, and I'm interested in this very quiet girl from college, she always sits by herself and always leaves class in a hurry. I thought she was shy like me, which is what made me notice her in the first place. I talked to her once, and the seemed nice enough, she actually talked a lot more than I thought she would. However, she never noticed me again after that: whenever we cross each other in the corridors she keeps looking ahead/down. If I say hi, she answers, but smiling only politely. She never looks at me in class, or shows any sign of attraction whatsoever. I know we didn't talk enough for any attraction to spark on her side though. I wanted to talk more to her and see if we can open up to each other, but, because of her more recent behaviour, I can't shake the feeling that she might just want to be left alone. It has been two weeks since I talked to her (we meet two times a week). Should I approach her again?
d0nnivain Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 Does she always look down no matter what or does she only look down / away when you approach? If she is avoiding you, stay away. If she is avoiding everybody she's shy. Gently approach. You are going to have win her trust.
Bastile Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 You are 19 years old. The chances of you being able to pick up on loads of subtle signals are very low indeed. You will need to invest more, and ask her out. That's how you will know. You don't even need to be direct. Asking someone out for a coffee is equivocal enough for you to save face. Then you pass it off among people that it was "just as friends", in case you feel shy about being rejected Next time you talk to her, just simply finish with "I have to get back to [whatever], but another time we should go out for a coffee". If it's a yes, or maybe, get your phone out. Take her number. If it's an excuse, or she has a boyfriend, just tell her "no worries. Have fun with [whatever she says she's doing]". We can read signals until we are all aircraft marshalls. But the only thing that really matters is whether she gives you the number or not. Always be pragmatic and positive in your approach. Good luck.
act00 Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 I'm going to agree. If she is avoidant and always looks at the floor, she's shy. If she only avoids you when see sees you approaching, she might be avoiding you and doesn't want to lead you on, as she knows you're attracted to her. She has a boyfriend or is not interested. It could be that she's so shy she doesn't know how to act around you, but I would probably just take it to mean she's avoiding. She'll have to learn on her own that if she is interested, she needs to stop being so shut off, if she is truly that shy. I think that asking her for coffee after class or some other day is about the only way to know for sure. She'll either accept or decline, and from that, you'll have a clear answer. 1
mikeylo Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 I agree. You first need to find out if she is shy in general or just with you.Since you've been in her shoes, you understand the shy issue. That said, two shy people will have a hard time being together.
smackie9 Posted May 16, 2017 Posted May 16, 2017 Sounds to me she has horrible anxiety.....it's going to be like pulling teeth. Be prepared to be stood up, ignored, etc......no matter how hard you try.
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