Watermelon Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) Hi, I'm new and sort of confused. I'm pretty sure this guy is playing with me and he's not interested in me but for a back up plan or something, but just want some feedback. We are really both to old and too professional for these games. He is a 50 year old nurse practitioner, and I'm a 39 year old mental health professional. I met him online, and we (I thought) really hit it off on the first date- he kept telling me how beautiful I was, and was so affectionate and such a gentleman. We saw each other again the same week! I was really so excited. Then, boom...down south. Guess he met someone else. But he kept texting me- not a lot of phone calls. There never were a lot of phone calls, but I was in his house, and he definitely lives alone. See, he asked me for a third date, and then acted like he "forgot" about it. Said, "Oops, I totally forgot that you asked for a third date." Made me feel like a fool, because I was so excited, and then made it sound like I was the one who asked, when it was him. I went out and did karaoke that night instead, and he actually acted hurt that I didn't invite him. Because he acted so sincerely hurt, I felt that it was just a misunderstanding, and maybe he was just disorganized and so busy, and decided to keep talking to him. Well, the week after that we made plans again- he asked. Friday night. He texted again that day- could I meet up at 8:30, he was working late. (I checked his office website, they close at 4.) Well that's awfully late for me, so I said no. I asked him what about Saturday. Saturday came, and he texted that he was so tired, so I suggested we skip that weekend, and just get together another day. He suggested Wednesday. We both were going to get off work at noon. Today he texts and says that now he isn't getting off until 4 pm this Wednesday. He knows I need to be home by 5 for my child. I told him this. He said, "It's ok, Watermelon, We will get together later"....He set this up so he didn't have to see me and could make it look like my fault again. I am not going to do the not answering texts and play hard to get because I don't want him coming after me. I don't want to be anyone's back up plan, I'm too old for games. So is he, but that's his problem. I just want to know what the hell is this old man doing wasting my time? Is it even possible he wasn't? If you read all this thank you. I'm just reaching out for some feedback. I told him that we all have our priorities and if something's important we make the time. And I don't intend to answer anymore of his texts. Edited May 15, 2017 by Watermelon 2
stillafool Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 I think he is also dating other people. I don't know what you mean by wasting your time as it seems your schedules conflict. I definitely think he is also seeing others but most people are until you maintain all of their attention. 1
preraph Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Well, part is scheduling problems, but it's mostly he's not that into you to prioritize you. 3
Author Watermelon Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 Stillafool, I feel that the reason he's wasting my time is that he keeps on asking for dates and then when those dates get near, he texts me with either, "I forgot", tells me that he needs to start several hours later than originally planned, or says he's tired. All of those things cause cancellation which I guess are meant to make it look like it's not his fault. But I feel like the goal was cancellation- I can't really tell, but overall, if he really liked me, he'd be there at the time he said he would. 2
Author Watermelon Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 Well, part is scheduling problems, but it's mostly he's not that into you to prioritize you. Yeah- He actually responded to my telling him that "If something's important to you, you'll make time"....with "I agree! One will always!" and two thumbs up... 1
Gaeta Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 His interest is mild. About wasting your time it takes 2 to tango. When a man cancels twice on you just end it there. Somewhere in there you are letting him waste your time by letting him reschedule time after time. You need to find someone more reliable. As someone working in health you know how reliability is important. A woman like you, a woman that works in a field where reliability and accountability are everything should not lower herself to dating these flakes. 3
Satu Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 The only person who can waste your time is you. Take care. 5
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 You told him you were done. So be done. Put him out of your mind & go find a man who keeps he word about dates. 3
spiderowl Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Ugh! I would not waste any more time on him. He is being very disrespectful. Respect yourself first and foremost and get rid of the guys who do not treat you properly. This one definitely does not sound worth it.
ProDatingTips Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 I've seen this many times before. I know this is tough love but it's time to begin the process of moving on. Like the others have said I would not waste anymore time on him.
CloudyHead Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Yep, he is playing the field and seeing who holds his interest the longest. This happens a lot with OLD. I think some people just like the chase of getting someone to go out with them. Once that happens, it is onto the next one. Catch and release syndrome. On a side note, don't rush right into an exclusive relationship. Take things slow and get to know the person better. You really can't get to know someone after two dates.
Author Watermelon Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 Thanks everyone, I have decided not to communicate with him anymore beyond what I already told him- that if it were a priority, he would have made time. Anything else, I'll ignore. I've blocked him from my messenger, so he can't text me. Sounds a little immature, but I don't want the temptation to check. We've been communicating for over a month, and it's stupid. I'm sick of getting his texts. I'm sure everyone's right, he was stringing me along because he likes the attention, but he's waiting to find something better. Very disrespectful. I've suspected that's what he was doing for awhile now. If he actually calls my phone, I'll talk to him, only to tell him that I'm not interested because I'm looking for someone who follows through with plans and respects my time. 2
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