Chitowntrainer Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Looking for some advice. I recently broke up with someone who has remained a good friend. In hindsight I realize I had no business being on OK Cupid so soon after the breakup. Particularly because I am in the middle of staring a new business, I am broke and am finding my way. However, a few weeks after moving out a woman approached my on the site and we chatted and went on the date and had "magic" right from the start. She is in a similar boat as I and is transitioning from teaching to business and is very busy taking classes, although she has her head on a little straighter than I did. After dating for a few weeks she told me "I could very easily fall in love with you, but I have so much on my plate right now I just want to keep things simple with you". I agreed with her and we continued to see one another for a few weeks, spending the night together, kissing but no sex. I became really captivated with her and needy. We were spending less time together because she has so much on her plate and she would remind me that I do too and to "keep things simple". I didn't listen. My texting her became voluminous as I obsessed more and more. The day came two weeks ago where she texted me to say "I hate to do this in a text, but you are not for me". I know for a fact she saw that I was reckless in my emotions. We met to say goodbye and she was pretty final, however, we had been doing yoga together and mindfulness meditation and she really stressed going to the same yoga studio and that we would see one another "sometime" at yoga. One of her best friends owns the studio and I continued to go, although I haven't seen her there. Her friend could see one time that I was struggling with my emotions and she told me "you know sometimes when we work on ourselves people come back to us". I should also add that the week after we broke up that she continued to send me friendly texts and I asked her to stop because it was just stirring up my emotions. Is there a chance down the road to rekindle this relationship? Is having zero contact the proper way at present to improve the chances of this happening? One of the last things I told her was that I was taking a year off from dating to focus on me. Her response was "YESSSSSSSS" Can any women out there give me a clue? I am a reasonably attractive guy, I am fit and own my own personal training business. Normally I have confidence but this vulnerability has destroyed me. HELP!!!!
Maldives Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) Looking for some advice. I recently broke up with someone who has remained a good friend. In hindsight I realize I had no business being on OK Cupid so soon after the breakup. Particularly because I am in the middle of staring a new business, I am broke and am finding my way. However, a few weeks after moving out a woman approached my on the site and we chatted and went on the date and had "magic" right from the start. She is in a similar boat as I and is transitioning from teaching to business and is very busy taking classes, although she has her head on a little straighter than I did. After dating for a few weeks she told me "I could very easily fall in love with you, but I have so much on my plate right now I just want to keep things simple with you". I agreed with her and we continued to see one another for a few weeks, spending the night together, kissing but no sex. I became really captivated with her and needy. We were spending less time together because she has so much on her plate and she would remind me that I do too and to "keep things simple". I didn't listen. My texting her became voluminous as I obsessed more and more. The day came two weeks ago where she texted me to say "I hate to do this in a text, but you are not for me". I know for a fact she saw that I was reckless in my emotions. We met to say goodbye and she was pretty final, however, we had been doing yoga together and mindfulness meditation and she really stressed going to the same yoga studio and that we would see one another "sometime" at yoga. One of her best friends owns the studio and I continued to go, although I haven't seen her there. Her friend could see one time that I was struggling with my emotions and she told me "you know sometimes when we work on ourselves people come back to us". I should also add that the week after we broke up that she continued to send me friendly texts and I asked her to stop because it was just stirring up my emotions. Is there a chance down the road to rekindle this relationship? Is having zero contact the proper way at present to improve the chances of this happening? One of the last things I told her was that I was taking a year off from dating to focus on me. Her response was "YESSSSSSSS" Can any women out there give me a clue? I am a reasonably attractive guy, I am fit and own my own personal training business. Normally I have confidence but this vulnerability has destroyed me. HELP!!!! Yes dude I would say NC is best because ur neediness became the issue so u do the opposite. If u were to go out wth chick I think she would quickly run afer u lol. Show ur not phased and carry on and she may return but chase and I think she'll get even more turned off. Wen u show ur strong and confident these kinda independent woman then run after u.she didn't have hairy armpits by any chance? Lol im kidding ... She sounds exactly like the type of woman id never ever go for. Do u really want someone who has no time for u and has pretty much told u ur not a priority to her.. her other bull**** stuff has taken precedence over u. Wat a crazy thing to chase after... Common dude grow some kahunas and find someone else who wants a relationship an key here "U".. I see u having problems wth this one. Not worth it dude let her be on her lonesome as she requested... Edited May 15, 2017 by Goodguy05
preraph Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 She said "you're not for me" because she got to know you well enough to realize that, so no, she's not apt to come back into your life as a love interest. Don't wait for that. Work on yourself, get some help if you need it, and then get back out there meeting women again. Sorry for your pain.
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