sahgon Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 So about a month ago i noticed a girl when me and my friend we're sitting at a cafe. She was very beautiful and i was really fascinated about her and my friend knew her name. After thinking her continiously, i decided to go and talk to her when i see her again(she didn't know i exist, she doen't either know my friend). So the next time i saw her, i found her crying so i decided to talk to her. I asked if she is ok but she just nodded her head as she was really bad. Since this day i started talking to her in fb. We were talking about 3 weeks(in fb, no physical contact except one time when we didn't say much). We were talking every day and conversations were flowing better and better. But she never "responded" to my flirt. After three weeks i told her that i have feelings for her but she said she doesn't feel the same way. By that moment we stopped talking. Two weeks after i sent a like hand by mistake and she asked how am i and we started talking again and the conversations were flowing even better than the last time. I notified her that i still love her but she said that she didn't know what to say and it is sweet that i am honest( only this).Obviously i can say that she doesn't love me, but i don't know if she likes me as a person at least...and we kept talking about different things after this(everything i mentioned above was in our conversation in facebook as always, no physical contact). I want to keep talking to her, her rejection inspires to me to keep up trying for her but i don't see anything good happening. So as soon as our conversations are flowing even better, is she gonna feel closer to me? will i be able to come closer to her and ask her out? is it possible to feel smthing about me? Can remind her at times that i still want her? What the f@ck am i doing with this situation really?
mikeylo Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 So about a month ago i noticed a girl when me and my friend we're sitting at a cafe. She was very beautiful and i was really fascinated about her and my friend knew her name. After thinking her continiously, i decided to go and talk to her when i see her again(she didn't know i exist, she doen't either know my friend). So the next time i saw her, i found her crying so i decided to talk to her. I asked if she is ok but she just nodded her head as she was really bad. Since this day i started talking to her in fb. We were talking about 3 weeks(in fb, no physical contact except one time when we didn't say much). We were talking every day and conversations were flowing better and better. But she never "responded" to my flirt. After three weeks i told her that i have feelings for her but she said she doesn't feel the same way. By that moment we stopped talking. Two weeks after i sent a like hand by mistake and she asked how am i and we started talking again and the conversations were flowing even better than the last time. I notified her that i still love her but she said that she didn't know what to say and it is sweet that i am honest( only this).Obviously i can say that she doesn't love me, but i don't know if she likes me as a person at least...and we kept talking about different things after this(everything i mentioned above was in our conversation in facebook as always, no physical contact). I want to keep talking to her, her rejection inspires to me to keep up trying for her but i don't see anything good happening. So as soon as our conversations are flowing even better, is she gonna feel closer to me? will i be able to come closer to her and ask her out? is it possible to feel smthing about me? Can remind her at times that i still want her? What the f@ck am i doing with this situation really? Dude, seriously? No means no. Rejection means rejection. Stop contacting her. You are asking for trouble aka restraining order.
elaine567 Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 So as soon as our conversations are flowing even better, is she gonna feel closer to me? will i be able to come closer to her and ask her out? is it possible to feel smthing about me? Can remind her at times that i still want her? What the f@ck am i doing with this situation really? The conversation is flowing better than before as she thinks she doesn't have to worry about you getting the wrong idea any more, as she thinks she has made her position clear on that score. TWICE She thinks she can relax now and treat you like any other friend... YOU need to give up trying to get her to date you. 1
preraph Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 If she had attraction for you, she wouldn't have just told you she doesn't feel the same way. She would have left the door open, but she shut it firmly. You're wasting your time here. Nearly any girl will agree to be "just friends" with a guy, but it doesn't mean they are attracted to them.
Author sahgon Posted April 23, 2017 Author Posted April 23, 2017 Well, unfortunately it's pretty obvious as i read your answers that i need to stop talking to her and i comprehend that this is the right thing. That's what i tried to do after telling her about my feelings the first time when we stopped talking for 2 weeks and then i sent this hand like by mistake and we started again. I can't stop talking to her, i love her and i don't want to seem like a bad guy if i stopped talking to her suddenly. Just some minutes ago she sent me some photos of her and she asked which one i like most and she uploaded that photo...how can i stop if these things happen to me? It will look so bad if i stopped talking to her and she certainly gonna be offended. No way i am gonna stop. And i know she doesn't feel the same way and that's why i am no longer flirting her. If i keep on she may feel something after some time, i need to get as close as possible to her anyhow it will be advantage whatever the outcome would be....
mikeylo Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 Well, unfortunately it's pretty obvious as i read your answers that i need to stop talking to her and i comprehend that this is the right thing. That's what i tried to do after telling her about my feelings the first time when we stopped talking for 2 weeks and then i sent this hand like by mistake and we started again. I can't stop talking to her, i love her and i don't want to seem like a bad guy if i stopped talking to her suddenly. Just some minutes ago she sent me some photos of her and she asked which one i like most and she uploaded that photo...how can i stop if these things happen to me? It will look so bad if i stopped talking to her and she certainly gonna be offended. No way i am gonna stop. And i know she doesn't feel the same way and that's why i am no longer flirting her. If i keep on she may feel something after some time, i need to get as close as possible to her anyhow it will be advantage whatever the outcome would be.... What you do is , reply a bit late during the day then take a few days to reply. Basically do the slow fade. But the best thing to do is , to tell her that you can't be her friend as you are looking for romantic relationship and then cut off. If you continue anyways, are you prepared for the day she tells you about her bf who is well endowed, gives her O after O , while blushing red ? Move on dude. You are in need of some therapy.
Author sahgon Posted April 23, 2017 Author Posted April 23, 2017 I see... i don't know how weird is this situation now and if it is something common for lot of people. I know that i am mad about her and if you could be in my head you would say that i am quite insane and overthinking about something like this. I am quite strong but i guess that scenario may still be too hard for me to overcome (if something like that happens.) I think i can keep on what i am doing now for some time, i don't know for how long....but until the day i stop....i need to make some efforts to change her mind, you can't know, i really need some advice to pressure her even know and make her come closer. I am still talking to her , that's why i still have the chance to make something happen, until the day i stop doing it.
preraph Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 A person knows if the attraction is there very soon. It's not like in the movies where if you are persistent they fall for you. If she was attracted, then she wouldn't have already told you no. She would have at least stayed neutral to see what developed, but she already knew it was a no. Now she is thinking you are just fine being just friends and that is fine with her, but it's going to eat up a couple of years of your time you should have spent finding a real girlfriend.
mikeylo Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 It will happen. Why ? Because for her , you are just a guy with whom she shares mundane things and doesn't have any romantic feelings for. You are in for a shock from which you may never recover. Move on. But I guess you will persist till she talks about her hot bf. Continue. 1
spiderowl Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 You can't 'pressure' her into wanting more. You will just push her away by doing that. She has already decided she is not attracted to you in that way. The best thing you can do is not to contact her and if she contacts you, be brief and busy elsewhere. If she really does like you a lot and was considering meeting you or something, she will make more determined efforts to stay in touch and will eventually suggest meeting. If she does not suggest meeting herself, you can take it as she's not interested. Staying in touch on its own means little. I'm a girl (well an old girl, lol). There are guys I like as friends. I care about them. I like talking to them and hearing how they are. I would support them if they needed help. But, I would not want to date them. The reasons are already there in my mind. They are unlikely to shift those basic reasons. Very rarely, there might be a guy who could be a friend who I could see as being more. In that situation, I would not be sure but would be willing to spend more time with him (in person) to see how we got on. Chatting with a guy on Facebook is not seeing him in person. 1
Author sahgon Posted April 24, 2017 Author Posted April 24, 2017 Oh god, those answers i read here are hurting more than her rejection someway... I am gonna keep talking to her for the next weeks to see how it goes and then i'll tell her again about my feelings and what she is thinking, i maybe try to convence her once again. She is gonna say no obviously and then i'll stop contacting her... Note: I am just 17 and she is 15, i am not gonna spend a couple of years trying as i read in an answer, and after this summer i am going to university in another city so it's not so complicated. I don't know if you get what i'm trying to say. I am still open for advice and i'm gonna update the post if something interesting happens. Thanks for your help so far.
DarrenB Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 She is young, you are young and that's what you need to acknowledge and understand. You still have ALOT to learn when it comes to everyday life as well as all of the benefits, pro's and cons of relationships especially. I don't want to be one of those people, but a lot of people do mistake 'love' for infatuation on a very common basis. Don't create this abundance of burden and angst because someone younger had rejected to initiate a R/S with you. Take this as a learning experience and I can't emphasize enough, stop attempting to get her to date you or feel attracted to you. If anything it will come naturally, anything forced is a waste of their time as well as yours. 3
Author sahgon Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) ................. Edited May 15, 2017 by sahgon
preraph Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Oh god, those answers i read here are hurting more than her rejection someway... I am gonna keep talking to her for the next weeks to see how it goes and then i'll tell her again about my feelings and what she is thinking, i maybe try to convence her once again. She is gonna say no obviously and then i'll stop contacting her... Note: I am just 17 and she is 15, i am not gonna spend a couple of years trying as i read in an answer, and after this summer i am going to university in another city so it's not so complicated. I don't know if you get what i'm trying to say. I am still open for advice and i'm gonna update the post if something interesting happens. Thanks for your help so far. Good. And once you get to university, there's going to be women that make your head spin in every direction, so don't get all hung up on one who doesn't have what it takes to love you back.
spiderowl Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 It sounds like she enjoys chatting but no more. She is being polite. She is not encouraging anything flirtatious and in fact has put you off that in the past. I would not expect anything more than online chat from this.
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