corruptedlungs Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) So, last fall I dated a customer for a bit from the cafe I worked at. Everyone used to joke that he was a "psychopath". It fell apart because i assumed he was a jerk from the get go and was not in a good place. I have recently realized based off of our interactions and his medication that he might actually be austistic. I stopped working at this place and visited early this year. Long story short one of my old coworkers sexually assaulted me and everyone there is siding with him. (I reported it, before anyone makes a snide comment, lol). I messaged the customer on Facebook, let's call him Chris. I told him what happened and sent him screenshots of the guy basically admitting that he did it. He responded and asked for more screenshots/ clarification. I responded. He read my message and didn't respond. I got upset and messaged Chris a couple more times. I wasn't mean or anything but I did tell him to block me and said that I still have feelings for him. All he does is read them and he won't block me. I'm a bit confused. I get that he might want to stay out of it, but him reading the messages and not responding/ not blocking me doesn't make much sense to me. This is a really bad situation and I should probably refrain from caring about what he thinks... Edited May 15, 2017 by corruptedlungs
Titanll Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) I doubt many people understand what you are asking? You were raped and are wondering what some guy on facebook thinks? Seriously, what are you asking? Edited May 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
coolheadal Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Why do you tolerate this behavior. You gone from one subject to another. You two things going on. Are you still seeing the guy from face book and who attack you in the cafe why would you ever go back there?
basil67 Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 You dumped him because you thought he was a jerk. So if he's a jerk, why did you message him? If you want comfort and support, isn't it wiser to go to a trusted friend?
Author corruptedlungs Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) Why do you tolerate this behavior. You gone from one subject to another. You two things going on. Are you still seeing the guy from face book and who attack you in the cafe why would you ever go back there? I don't go to the cafe. The guy I dated and the guy who assaulted me are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Edited May 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author corruptedlungs Posted May 15, 2017 Author Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) I doubt many people understand what you are asking? You were raped and are wondering what some guy on facebook thinks? Seriously, what are you asking? I'm upset because someone that I have feelings for might think I'm lying about being raped. Edited May 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude ~T
coolheadal Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 What the hell? I don't go to the cafe. I can't even understand what you're saying. The guy I dated and the guy who assaulted me are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. My dear you have too make that clear for us to figure out. The guy you dated are you still dating him? If not then why did you call him to tell him about. He doesn't seem to keen on you. The other guy should have called the police on him. Their a labor laws against any harassment sexual or none in the work place.
Titanll Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 (edited) I'm upset because someone that I have feelings for might think I'm lying about being raped. So you wonder if the autistic guy that won't block you on facebook believes you were raped? Edited May 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Frostedflake Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 From my understanding, you have feelings for a guy who you told that you were raped. The guy wanted evidence, you sent it. He didn't give you the response you wanted so you felt bad and told him to block you. He didn't respond and also didn't block you. Well, life is a show but people don't get scripts. They're not going respond how you want them to. It just doesn't work like that. I can understand that you're probably hurt because that's a pretty big thing to confide in someone and he didn't respond how you expected. And honestly, you probably scared him by jumping down his throat like that so now he definitely doesn't want to respond scared he might set you off even further. Just let the boy go. He's not the one for you. And yeah, he's probably trying to keep his nose out of it. 1
Versacehottie Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Here's my advice: if you are trying to bond with a new guy, don't use heavy or dramatic situations to do it. Positive situations are better than negative. You run the risk of a person transferring feelings of negativity about the situation to you. Of course, this situation is not your fault & part of your life but maybe something you want to keep separate from a romance that is just beginning. Bottom line: too dramatic to visit on another person. Good luck
PegNosePete Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 I should probably refrain from caring about what he thinks... Yes, I think you're probably right. If you want him to block you then why don't you just block him instead? That seems like a pretty obvious solution to me.
todreaminblue Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 From experience guys react differently and many many guys feel confusion to the point they literally dont know what to say because rape is so foreign an idea to them......most talks they have on the birds and the bees dont involve what to say to a person who has been raped......it could have been the first ever time anyone has ever sadi anythign liek what you did to him....a person who woudl understand more...is a woman......especially a woman who might have experienced similar to what you have...hence my reply...... give the autistic guy a break..not only has he probably never dealt with anything like this before ......you say he might be in the autistic spectrum.....which would incur an awkwardness with everyday conversation and interactions let alone a conversation of this magnitude...... what were you expecting from him? have you made any progress towards charges or filing charges have you a good close female friend you trust...family maybe? A trusted aunt? im sorry this has happened.....i feel your confusion and unsurety behind you words ...i want to help.......if I can help you with some steps forward.....if you would like some...let me know.....ill try to help.....you clear some confusion maybe a little bit of that anger i am sensing too.....at your situation....i know what it feels liek to be not believed...and it does cause anger......been there and its really an isolating feeling..you arent alone.......hugs ....deb
ExpatInItaly Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Don't bother with the former customer. You already broke up with him, shared this experience and he didn't respond. I'm not sure what you expected him to do or say, especially given the fact you suspect that he is autistic. If that is indeed true, he is likely going to struggle with emotional revelations like this one - much more so than those of us not on the spectrum. Add to that the fact that you previously broke up with him, and the whole situation becomes very delicate and awkward. You can go ahead and block him if don't wish to have any more contact. May I ask why you wanted to tell him about this? How long ago did you break up, and how long had it been since you'd last had contact with him? As far as the assault is concerned, continue to pursue it with authorities. When you say you reported it, I assume you mean to the police? Focus on that, not what an ex thinks about it. That's not important right now. Do what you need to do to see that justice is served and don't worry about whose side former coworkers take. Their opinion doesn't matter, especially in the eyes of the law.
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