She never texts first! Should I not text her??

[Davidcee]

I been dating this girl for 6 months but we had a little break in between the thing that concerns me is that she's never texting first ever since we started texting but she does reply quick and we have good conversations.. At first I didn't care much bc I thought that there are girls out there that don't text first but also this one time when she went to big bear and didn't really have cellphone reception, so she didn't receive my message and I thought she would double text me but didn't so I asked her and she simply said bc she didn't want to make it seem like she's bothering me. After that, I assumed that maybe I should be the one contacting her so that's what I been doing. Is it weird that she doesn't text first? And what else can I do beside text bc there are times when we run out of things to talk about and I don't was it to be boring. Thanks for reading hopefully I can get some good feedback

[fmfan08]

I been dating this girl for 6 months but we had a little break in between the thing that concerns me is that she's never texting first ever since we started texting but she does reply quick and we have good conversations.. At first I didn't care much bc I thought that there are girls out there that don't text first but also this one time when she went to big bear and didn't really have cellphone reception, so she didn't receive my message and I thought she would double text me but didn't so I asked her and she simply said bc she didn't want to make it seem like she's bothering me. After that, I assumed that maybe I should be the one contacting her so that's what I been doing. Is it weird that she doesn't text first? And what else can I do beside text bc there are times when we run out of things to talk about and I don't was it to be boring. Thanks for reading hopefully I can get some good feedback

 

As long as she's still meeting you in person, who cares?

[d0nnivain]

If it bugs you that much, tell her you'd like it if she initiated texting once in a while. Don't play games.

[kendahke]

I been dating this girl for 6 months but we had a little break in between the thing that concerns me is that she's never texting first ever since we started texting but she does reply quick and we have good conversations.. At first I didn't care much bc I thought that there are girls out there that don't text first but also this one time when she went to big bear and didn't really have cellphone reception, so she didn't receive my message and I thought she would double text me but didn't so I asked her and she simply said bc she didn't want to make it seem like she's bothering me. After that, I assumed that maybe I should be the one contacting her so that's what I been doing. Is it weird that she doesn't text first? And what else can I do beside text bc there are times when we run out of things to talk about and I don't was it to be boring. Thanks for reading hopefully I can get some good feedback

 

When you two are face to face, how easily are your conversations? Do you run out of things to say then?

 

Also, why does she feel she's bothering you if she texts first? You might want to find out why.

 

I think you need to decide if this is the hill to die on. For a myriad of reasons, some people just aren't good texters, but are engaging when face to face or during a phone call. You might want to try phone calls and see how receptive she is and just leave texting for firming up plans.

[basil67]

Not texting her is an extraordinarily passive aggressive move. What positive outcome can you imagine coming from this move?

 

If you really like her and want the relationship to continue strongly, then talk to her about how you feel. And use positive wording as opposed to negative. For instance, "It would mean so much to me if you initiated texts. It would help me feel like you're keen to be with me". Avoid comments such as "why don't you ever text me first?"

[rushed]

Not texting her is an extraordinarily passive aggressive move. What positive outcome can you imagine coming from this move?

 

If you really like her and want the relationship to continue strongly, then talk to her about how you feel. And use positive wording as opposed to negative. For instance, "It would mean so much to me if you initiated texts. It would help me feel like you're keen to be with me". Avoid comments such as "why don't you ever text me first?"

 

I agree with everything basil wrote.

 

Some people just have a lot of social anxiety and I can relate to your gf about not wanting to text someone first for fear of bothering them. Of course 6 months into a relationship, you'd think she'd feel a little more comfortable with you. What's your relationship with her currently like?

[coolheadal]

I been dating this girl for 6 months but we had a little break in between the thing that concerns me is that she's never texting first ever since we started texting but she does reply quick and we have good conversations.. At first I didn't care much bc I thought that there are girls out there that don't text first but also this one time when she went to big bear and didn't really have cellphone reception, so she didn't receive my message and I thought she would double text me but didn't so I asked her and she simply said bc she didn't want to make it seem like she's bothering me. After that, I assumed that maybe I should be the one contacting her so that's what I been doing. Is it weird that she doesn't text first? And what else can I do beside text bc there are times when we run out of things to talk about and I don't was it to be boring. Thanks for reading hopefully I can get some good feedback

 

Stop texting her.. See what happens, because right now your giving her all the power in the world. Tolerate this stop now. Your becoming her text buddy is that what you want? There is another name too, but can't say it here. I've been away from this site doing my own research also working too. Been busy, but the women I know don't seem to be texting me back and I am doing all the texting. Crazy.. All of them who had kids yesterday I sent them Happy Mother's Day, also if they Grandma they got Happy Grandmother's Day also and I have a pleasant day today message. Only got 3 back that said thank you the rest didn't even say a word. Wow how cold is that. One woman she's going through a lot but I was surprise when she text back thanks you and getting ready to leave.

 

Some women just like the receiving part of texting they just don't have the time to text you back. Then stop texting and call her on the cell and talk instead. That's what I do always.

[planb1973]

I feel your frustration. A woman I have know for almost a year is just like that. Not once has she initiated any communication, yet we have great conversations in person and really get along great. A couple of times it has really gotten to me and I have purposely not contacted her, as you can probably relate it's radio silence till I reach out again. I think it is very rare in this day and age but there simply are some people who do not text first. Could be lack of interest, could be some avoidance attachment issue, could be she is super beautiful and popular and doesn't have to text first, or it could be some past trauma. Who knows. But if you want to talk to her than do it. I highly suggest going in eyes wide open on this one.

[OnlyHonesty]

If it bugs you that much, tell her you'd like it if she initiated texting once in a while. Don't play games.

 

 

If you have to tell someone to contact you, then when / if they do contact you, it will never seem genuine anyway. If someone doesn't do that of their own accord then I don't see the point.

[Elias33]

You can't make her do anything.

 

I don't think you should bring it up either, no matter what the outcome, it will feel forced. You can only decide if you want this out of a relationship.

 

If she aboslutely never starts a conversation over text, then you are not on her mind at the moment. It doesn't take a text-fiend to every-now-and -then sends you a joke, or share an observation or experience about their day.

[Elias33]

You can't make her do anything.

 

I don't think you should bring it up either, no matter what the outcome, it will feel forced. You can only decide if you want this out of a relationship.

 

If she aboslutely never starts a conversation over text, then you are not on her mind at the moment. It doesn't take a text-fiend to every-now-and -then sends you a joke, or share an observation or experience about their day.

[CptCodi]

If it bugs you that much, tell her you'd like it if she initiated texting once in a while. Don't play games.

This.

 

Don't play games. Communication is the number thing every relationship needs.

 

For example, when I started dating my ex, I always had to initiate the sex for the first few months.

Want to know how I fixed it?

I asked her why she never initiates the sex, and her answer was this,

"Because I like to feel wanted."

I replied with, "So do I."

*LIGHT BULB* went off in her head.

 

Easy-peasy.

[grays]

Not texting her is an extraordinarily passive aggressive move. What positive outcome can you imagine coming from this move?

 

I dont think the OP was suggesting that he was going to stop texting her. Seems to me hes just trying to figure out a way to make the situation better. I dont see why he should be attacked for that.